2°: Chapter 14

James opened his eyes slowly as he felt hands caressing his face.

- Oh James...- She said in that voice he remembered perfectly.

He smiled immediately as he looked at her.

- Sarah, you... - He said in a whisper but was silenced by her voice.

- You know I'm gone, don't you? - She asked in her totally serene voice.

James nodded with a hint of sadness.

- You're still there for me, Sarah...I....

- No, James. What I mean is, I'm gone. You have a right to be happy. - She agreed with a peaceful smile. James stared at her. - You have to get your life together.

- I have, I...

- I know. - She confirmed. James looked at her in despair. - But it's hard for you to take the next step.

- I'm sorry. - She replied and felt her eyes fill with tears. - I just don't know what to do.

- You just have to forget. - She said with a smile on her face. She moved closer to James and placed a warm kiss on his lips. - I will always be with you, but it's time to move on.

______

The voices stunned James and the pulsing white light blinded him completely. His vision settled a little and he noticed how his mother looked at him with a smile.

- Good! You've woken up!

He didn't know why, but a huge relief abounded in his heart.

-

James paced back and forth, looking at the white roses strategically placed around the site. His mother tapped his shoulder.

- Relax, would you like me to take care of Portia? - She said looking at him with understanding. She knew perfectly well what James had been going through those last few days, but she had encouraged him by telling him that it was all part of a process in which he was finally dealing with Sarah. He had just accepted what his mother had told him and began to try to accept that that was what was happening. He didn't have to forget her, just learn to move on. It was necessary.

- No, leave her. Would you go check on Luna, please? If you're wondering about me, I'm working. -He said with a smile and kissed his mother's cheek.

She nodded. James walked slowly into the living room. It was all white, the floor gleamed and a large table stood in the middle. He had planned everything very carefully, every detail had been remembered more than once even if it wasn't necessary. That day was going to be perfect.

The doubt about Luna's response also made him nervous, for if she turned him down, which although unlikely was a possibility, it would all go down the drain in a second.

Several people were moving about the place going from place to place, James was watching everything with utmost attention when a discomfort began to creep up his chest. He made a slight movement with his left hand, trying to get some air so that the annoying sensation would leave his body.

- No. - He expressed in a simple whisper. His vision began to blur and his breathing was almost nil. Her legs were weak and she knew what was coming, but this time it was a hundred times stronger and more horrible.

He fell to his knees on the ground and placed his right hand on his stomach while holding himself up with his left. He closed his eyes tightly as he tried to inhale some air, but it was impossible, his lungs were going against him. He stood up as best he could, but his strength was nil and he quickly leaned his back against the white wall, bent his knees just a little and placed both his hands on the bottom of his knees.

He felt a strange metallic taste in his mouth and quickly knew it was blood, he was calmer knowing it was from his lip, he had bitten it hard. The sensation seemed to subside when a stitch hit hard in his head.

Where the fuck were the employees? James gently rubbed his head as he turned to see how all the people who had been inside were now outside setting things up. He started walking towards them as he breathed slowly and felt a great pain in his head.

As he stepped outside, the sun hit his eyes hard and he felt nauseous. Today was not the day, not today.

He prayed that the breathing attack would not be more intense and that everything would stop there, but that thought vanished as he fell hard to the floor.

- Oh dear God! - exclaimed a female voice at the sight of him.

_____

James was in the passenger seat, staring intently at his phone and cursing himself for wasting 3 hours in the hospital. The good thing was that he was fine, and feeling much better. The heaviness was gone from his chest and he felt like everything was better. He didn't have any problems. He had said goodbye to Sarah, finally, and he had done it in a rather odd way, but he had done it. He had spent the whole week with senseless guilt. It was a necessary process.

- How are you feeling? - asked his father, who was behind the wheel.

- Fine, thank you. - She replied with her voice heavier than she wanted it to be.

She looked at him in the rearview mirror and grimaced happily.

- Don't worry, James. Everything will be fine. - She said trying to cheer him up, as James's face showed nothing but insecurity.

- I know, I just don't want it to end.

He braked the car. He turned and James looked at him confused. He didn't usually talk much to his father but this time he noticed that he felt like talking.

- When I married your mother, everything was perfect. You came along and the family was perfectly fine. Then I started to get distracted, you know what I did? I worked, hours, many hours. Do you remember I was never at home? That was my mistake. My marriage to your mother didn't work out. Don't make that mistake, son. Sarah's over, okay? Even if you don't want to accept it, she's in the past, wanting you to be happy... and you're happy with Luna, aren't you? - he asked. James nodded and looked at him intently. He continued: "You're young, you have everything. You have a good job, a beautiful house, a beautiful daughter, you have your family, you have Luna and two beautiful children on the way, you don't lack anything. So today, you will put that insecurity aside, and you will do what you want so much, okay? - He finished harshly. James looked at him in surprise.

He had never spoken to him like that, since they didn't see each other much and when they did they talked business. James nodded and his father smiled at ease.

- That's the way I like it.