Chapter 13

Gina

I was slowly sipping a glass of champagne, staring down at the programme. The Gala was well organised and our company had an entrance-facing stand. I came in early and made sure that everything was set up. Davies was going to look through the pictures later on, and I didn’t want to mess up anything. This type event attracted a lot of new clients. There were other various companies here. I spotted our main competitors, too, but I knew how they operated. I had already seen a few hot leads. Everyone here was looking for something, and Davies’s company had a good reputation in the city.
I kept moving the leaflets and changing the position of the laptop every five minutes. My stomach was in knots and I had no idea why. Harry Erskine was just a client. Yes, we had sex, but that didn’t matter anymore. We made a deal to forget about that day in his apartment.
I was overthinking this again and I needed to calm down. Sasha once told me that she was banged to the moon and back. Now I knew exactly what she was talking about. She used to call Dexter the god of sex, and a week ago Harry had become my god. He was well mannered and never treated me badly, but I knew he had a lot of issues.
I didn’t expect things to be awkward between us. I kept reminding myself that men couldn’t be trusted anyway. They were all looking for the same thing. So it was no loss that I’d never be with Harry again.
“Right, there she is,” said a high-pitched voice from behind me. I felt him even before I saw him. I smiled to myself and a jolt of electricity shot down my spine. I could still feel the heat from that day boiling in my veins. The man made me nervous, but I had masked it very well in the past. Now I just had to act. We had some level of understanding and we still had to work together. I was aware of all this before I went out with him.
“Hello, Mrs. Davies,” I said to Crystal, smiling when she approached the stand. She looked beautiful wearing a shiny silver cocktail dress that displayed her cleavage. She gave me a courtly nod and ran her gaze up and down my body with her sharp blue eyes. I wore a black fitted dress and high heels. My hair most likely looked a little crazy, and I was fed up with trying to tame it. The curls had a life of their own.
“Hey, Gina, right?” she asked, and I nodded. Harry was right behind her, wearing a black tuxedo. He smiled at me and I felt butterflies in my stomach. This was ridiculous. I really needed to get a grip. This man wasn’t for me and he arrived here with Crystal. “This is Harry Erskine.”
“Crystal, we know each other already. Gina is creating a social media campaign for my new app that is going to launch soon,” Harry said, and his eyes roved over my body. He moved closer, and a zip of desire scorched through me.
“Well, in that case, I’m going to get some drinks,” Crystal said, tossing her mobile phone into her purse. A second later, she leaned over to Harry and touched his arm. “What would you like, darling?”
“Gin and tonic. You, Miss Martinez?” he asked me, and his eyes bored into me intensely.
“I’m fine. I have champagne,” I said quickly, counting the dots on the leaflet lying on the table. It was a good distracting exercise. Harry Erskine was hot, and I clearly remembered his naked chest hovering over me in his guest bedroom. Then him fucking me on the floor, sofa and… Man, I had to stop thinking about that day. He was unavailable and my own issues had proven in the past that I wasn’t ready to be in a committed relationship.
Crystal walked away, swaying her hips from one side to the other. She was smiling and greeting people as she walked toward the bar. I’d heard from Brittany that she always accompanied Andrew to any social events. She obviously wanted to be seen as supportive of her husband’s venture.
“So, Miss Martinez, how have you been?” Harry asked, after Crystal left us alone.
“Good, busy with your project, Mr. Erskine.”
I sipped more champagne, trying to stop myself from picturing him on top of me again. My throat was dry, and I was aware that he was staring at me. The silence between us was deafening, and I wished that there was some music in the background. I could feel that sizzling attraction between us. It kept me chained up to him, and I felt like I couldn’t get loose. His eyes were going back and forth, from me to the crowd.
“I’m glad. Any progress with your business, you know, since we saw each other last?” he asked after some time. My imagination was going wild, the heat making me lose my focus. I looked at him and felt the alcohol rushing through my system. I only had a few sips of champagne. I had drunk way too much on Saturday night, so now I had to watch myself.
“No, but I have a new plan of action in place. Hopefully, once I’m done with your project, I can take some time off.”
“You look beautiful, Gina. You have no idea how hard I am for you right now. I haven’t stopped thinking about that day in my apartment. I couldn’t have asked for a better lover,” he whispered, leaning over to me.
I swallowed hard, aware of his heated breath on my skin. He wasn’t supposed to bring this up. He knew I was working. The man dismissed our agreement. I should have suspected that he wasn’t done with me yet.
I opened my mouth to tell him to get a grip, when Crystal came back with his drink.
“There, Harry, here is your gin and tonic.”
I gave him a sharp look and backed away a little. Crystal was like a wildcat, always ready to attack. Harry thanked her, but his eyes never left me. My body was slowly turning into a mass of need. My mind kept replaying his soft lips on mine. I’d bet I looked flustered, since I could feel my cheeks burning.
“So, Gina, how is the sales pitch going? I haven’t seen you in action yet. You have been standing here for too long. I thought that you were here to network,” Crystal said, narrowing her eyes on me. I didn’t have to listen to her. I worked for her husband, but he wasn’t here tonight. She was marking her territory, and it was obvious she wanted to be alone with Harry.
“Yes, I was planning to take—”
“Don’t plan, darling, just act. I’ll look after Mr. Erskine for you,” she responded sweetly, cutting me off. She was even worse than her husband, but I didn’t want to worry about her. I just had to get on with my job.
Brittany had sworn to me that she saw her with some dark-skinned guy the other day at one of the bars in the city. There had been other rumours about her failed marriage in the office. She wasn’t even trying to pretend that she was loyal to her husband.
I grabbed some materials and excused myself, leaving them alone. Harry’s eyes were still on me when I tried to blend into the crowd, failing to keep my steamy memories away.

Harry

I thought that I could handle being around Gina, but I was wrong yet again. She looked so incredibly sexy in that black dress with her crazy red hair. She was everything that a guy like me wanted in a partner. My pulse was racing away, and I had no idea what was happening to me. In the past week I had thought about her a lot.
The nightmares returned, and I kept waking up covered with sweat, telling myself I needed to take some sleeping pills. I knew Gina had nothing to do with how I felt. Some of my clients had been asking if everything was all right with me. I was angry all the time, cranky without a reason. I shouldn’t have told her straight what I was looking for. Now I had to ask her out again.
I saw her tonight and everything we agreed on no longer mattered. All I could think of was being inside her again. That woman wasn’t supposed to be in my plans, so what the hell happened?
I was pissed off with the way Crystal had spoken to her. Gina was very good at her job and Crystal probably hadn’t worked a day in her life. The woman was infuriating and now I was stuck being her puppy. She brought over some other people who worked with Andrew and started to introduce me around. My bad mood was showing. I was snappy and slightly aggravated that she kept touching me. My eyes scanned the crowd, searching for Gina, but she was working.
“Man, you used to date that model Louisa, right?” Donald Robinson asked as he joined our circle. I was brought back to reality. Everyone looked at me then, and I wanted to twist Donald’s balls. A couple of years ago, we both dealt with some financial investments together. He always used to like putting me on the spot.
“Harry, darling, you never said you used to date a model?” Crystal asked, curious. My chest cracked open, and a few dots of sweat gathered on the back of my neck. After I ended things with Louisa, there had been many rumours floating around. I never confirmed any of it.
“It’s the past. We are no longer together, Donald,” I snapped, annoyed that I let him get to me.
“The girl had it bad for Harry here. She took some sleeping pills and—”
“Shut your mouth, Donald, or I’ll gladly do it for you,” I snarled, stepping toward the guy who was purposely winding me up. I had been a monster and I paid my price. She had fallen for me and I failed her.
I was aware that everyone was staring at me, the tension around was palpable. Donald knew the story, because Louisa had turned him down a few times. It was a bad story, one that I didn’t want to remember.
“All right, chill, Erskine, I’m only playing. There is no need to be defensive,” he said, trying to turn this into a joke, but I wasn’t laughing. My reputation had suffered, and every time someone mentioned this, I told myself that I was never going to hurt anyone else.
We stared at each other, and I was ready to launch myself at him. My darkness reminded me that I never lost control, the SAS had taught me that. Donald was a loser and he was intentionally provoking me.
I finished my drink, wiped the whiskey from my lips, and walked away. I heard Crystal calling me, but I needed to go outside, cool off. The memories from that terrible day were still vivid. Louisa had tried to kill herself because I failed to love her back. I should have seen it coming.
She was talented and she still had her whole future ahead of her. After I ended things, she was never the same. Her family and friends blamed me.
I barged through the outside corridor, my breath shallow, and my pulse pounding in my ears.
“Hey, Harry, are you all right?”
Fuck, what the hell? Crystal had to follow me all the way out here? She didn’t have to check on me.
“I’m fine, Crystal, just need a minute alone,” I told her, pacing around the corridor.
“I’m not here to talk about your feelings, trust me,” she assured me, placing her hands on my shoulders. I stopped walking around and looked at her. “You need to relax a little.”
Before I knew it, she was pushing me toward the bathroom. I was hard, craving the woman who was perfect. Instead I had Crystal, who needed to be satisfied. She quickly reminded me that it was my obligation. And sex was the only way to stop the oncoming darkness in my head.
We started kissing, barging through the door, and I was losing control. I ran my hands over her bony arms, her hips, and then underneath her dress, trying to get lost in her perfume and her body. She successfully numbed me. She was a distraction from the voice in my head, from the flashbacks. I was taking her, and she was offering herself to me. This was the price that I was paying.
I pushed her against the wall and pulled up her dress. My head was messed up, because all I could think of was Gina. Louisa had tried to kill herself, but her mother found her just in time. She was taken to the hospital and managed to survive.
That was five years ago, and I’d never been the same since. I had one hand buried in Crystal’s platinum blond hair, and the other in her knickers. My fingers started pushing into her wet sex as she moaned my name.
“Oh, yes, just like that.” Crystal was saying while I tried imagining her being someone else.
I smelled Gina’s perfume, and I wanted to have her in my arms. Acting like a desperate man, I peeled down the top of Crystal’s dress, cupping her breasts with my hand. But I knew this time, she wouldn’t bring me the peace I needed. The woman who could fix me was still out there, unaware that I was craving her soul.
Crystal grabbed my hard cock and started stroking it with her hand.
“You’re going to fuck me hard, so don’t hold back,” she reminded me.
“Oh, oh, my God. I’m so sorry. I didn’t realise—”
I opened my eyes and saw Gina standing in the door. She was staring at me and Crystal. My hand was still underneath Crystal’s dress, and my trousers were around my ankles.
A second later she was gone, and I cursed loudly under my breath.
“She will get over it. Come on, darling, let’s finish this. I’m horny,” Crystal said and went for me again, but something happened then.
I had woken up and I couldn’t do this anymore.
“No, we are done. Let’s get back on the floor,” I said, zipping my trousers and dragging my hand through my hair. The darkness shaded me, and all I could think about was Louisa’s weak body on the sofa. She survived, barely, but she was never the same again, because of me.
“What? You have to fuck me. That little bitch won’t say anything,” Crystal said, getting to my cock again.
But I grabbed her wrist and said firmly, “We are done. I’m leaving.”
I left the bathroom, hating myself for being so weak and using sex to numb my soul—and for ruining my chance with the only person I really needed right then—Gina.