Byung-ho Loves Ji-a!

In fact my legs felt really weak, like it could no longer support my weight so I had to reach for the head of the couch and rest my hands on it, to support myself.

“ Man you have to help me with this, you know you are my best friend and also you are the reason why I don't currently have a girlfriend. Though I have forgiven you about that long time ago, I want to even thank you cause I wouldn't have known what a slūt my Ex Da-eun is and most importantly, I wouldn't have fallen in love with the perfect girl for me, Ji-a. "
He said and now I was feeling heart pains and also guilt for what I did to him, concerning his ex.

He is right, I am the reason why he broke up with his ex, I ruined his previous relationship. Will I also be the reason why he won't find love?

Will I deny him the chance to be happy again?

He's my best friend and I should always seek his happiness, but..but I love Ji-a, I love her so much.

I have never felt this way for anyone, no one. All I think about is her, all I want to do is be around her, protect her, love her and make her happy.

And I do want her for myself, I have never yarned more for anything than to have Ji-a as mine - to hold her, kiss her and make sweet love to her.

All these I want but I won't have if Ji-a becomes Byung-ho girlfriend.

What do I do? Should I let Byung-ho have happiness by leaving Ji-a for him or should I fight for my happiness and fight with him for Ji-a's love?

What should I do???....

“ Hey, Lee Chun you haven't said anything yet. Will you help me win Ji-a's heart? Will you help me make her my girlfriend? "
Byung-ho said, getting me out of my trouble thoughts.

“ I.. I can't. "
I stuttered, choosing to fight for Ji-a's love with him.

“ W..what why? "
He asked and he had this pathetic look on his face that I just couldn't do it.

I couldn't tell him I love Ji-a, that suddenly felt like pulling the trigger on him, like driving a bullet through his skull.

“ I mean I can't help you because I don't know anything about relationships. You know me right? All I care about is having sëx and smooching all the ladies. I have no time for relationships, so I don't know how to win a girl's heart. All I know is how to get into a girl's puṣṣy. "
I said acting all badaṣṣ and unconcerned.

Byung-ho chuckled. “ Yeah I know but the ladies love you man, so you can still be of much help here, plus you are also close to Ji-a. What do you think I can do so Ji-a would know I really love her and she will agree to be my girlfriend? Should I take her out on a romantic date or should I make it a form of surprise... "
He was saying, and though I had an unconcerned face inside of me was hurting.

It was hurting really bad, the thought of Ji-a and Byung-ho being together is really killing me but what can I do?

I can't always be a selfish bastārd that always thinks about his own happiness.

“ Well Ji-a loves food, so you may as well ask her out with a full bucket of chicken wings. "
I joked but couldn't even force myself to laugh.

My heart was hurting. Byung-ho, on the other hand, had a good laugh.

“ Oh my, that's really funny... but I want your honest opinion. Do you think she will accept my proposal? "
He asked.

“ Well, you are a great guy, any girl would be lucky to have you as a boyfriend. "
I said and he smiled.

“ Thanks, I am going to ask her out tomorrow then, in a restaurant. "
He said and I forced myself to smile even though what I wanted to do then was cry.

“ You will have to excuse me, I think something just entered my eyes. " I said walking to the stairs.

“ Oh, sorry man. Do you need my help in anything? " He asked.

Without stopping or turning around. “ No, I am good. " I replied, climbing up the stairs fast, heading straight for my room.
*
*
Getting into my room I locked the door and rested on it with my back breathing heavily, my left hand on my chest, squeezing hold of my flesh.

My heart was hurting, the feeling was a ripping, tearing pain and I felt like cutting off my heart out and throwing it away.

The pain is really unbearable!

I love Ji-a so much, so much! yet I am willingly letting her go even before I could even have her.

My eyes-sack had become swollen and my eyes wet, my heart kept aching like I was having a heart attack of some sort.

My back slid down the door and I found myself sitting on the floor, weeping bitter tears....

_____________

Ji-a's POV

Byung-ho thought I was fast asleep when he left the room but I wasn't, I never slept. I was never feeling sleepy, neither was I tired.

I only told Lee Chun that because I was troubled in my heart. I wanted to stay away from him, cause what Min-seo said to me back then really got to me. I know Lee Chun's character, I know how he treats ladies and I am scared to be treated as such one day.

But barely an hour has gone by and I am already missing Lee Chun to death. I am missing his company, his jokes and all his troubles.

I am missing his handsome face, his beautiful eyes and sweet lips.

I raised my right hand and gently touched my lower lips with two fingers, remembering his lips on mine.

The kiss.

I don't think I will ever forget that kiss, my first kiss. It was special not because it was my first kiss, No.

It was special because it was Lee Chun that kissed me...it was special because I have feelings for him, deep feelings.

I love Lee Chun, yes I do.

It's scary, but I can't change the fact that I love him.

How stupid of me, falling in love with someone like Lee Chun. I didn't really like him at first.

I thought him a jerk and a troublemaker but then, I started enjoying his troubles and I also started noticing other qualities he has.

Although he doesn't show it often, he is really caring.

The day he saved me from falling off my wheelchair.

When he carried me on his back like a little child.

He even beat up a doctor because he thought he was sexually harassing me.

All these are signs of someone that cares, even if he doesn't care, even if he doesn't love me, that doesn't change the fact that I love him.

One can't always choose who they fall in love with.

And let's be honest, apart from the fact that Lee Chun is a sëx addict and all, I am nowhere near his class. I am not even good enough to be his maid, so I shouldn't have any expectations from him.

I am just a poor orphan girl that never in her wildest imagination ever dreamt of having someone like Lee Chun as a friend not to talk of falling in love with her.

Although I am still scared of my feelings for Lee Chun, especially his feelings for me because I really don't want to be used. However I will not let Min-seo words cause me to distance myself away from Lee Chun...

Knock! Knock!
I heard a sound on the door.

“ Who is that? "
I asked in a slight loud tone.

” It's Kyung-gu, I am here to serve Lunch. "
He said from the other side.

“ Come on in Kyung-gu. "
I said and he entered inside, pushing a food carrier - filled with lots of food, all covered though.

“ Good afternoon. " He greeted me as he entered.
“ This is your meal, please do tell if you need anything else and it would be brought to you. " He said afterwards and I smiled slightly.

“ How are you doing Kyung-gu? "
I asked.

“ I am fine Ji-a and you? "

“ Well, I am good.. please I need your help. "
I said.

“ Okay, how can I be of help? " He asked.

“ Can you please take me to Lee Chun's room, not strong enough to go by myself. "
I said.

“ Of course I will, you don't need to ask. " He said.

“ Thanks. "