Chapter 34 - Mirror, Mirror 🌶️

*“When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable.” ― Jess C. Scott*

***Kiya***

I stepped out of a wall of steam from my hot shower, snatching a towel from a nearby rack to wrap around my body. Stopping in front of the fogged-up mirror, I made a diagonal swipe with my hand, the condensation clearing to my reflection. My dripping curls stuck to my shoulders and back like glue to paper, the smell of aloe vera perfuming the moist air. I huffed out a sharp breath and gripped the outer rim of the sink, rubbing my thighs together to relieve the building pressure swirling below my navel.

The sensations of burrowing fingers lingered as a colorful reminder of Artemis’ adventure yesterday.

The heat from my shower did **nothing** to quell the simmering desire in me. All I could think about while the water battered against my back was how much I wanted Neron. I wanted to experience what Artemis had. Her experience with Onyx unlocked a segment of my heart and soul I’ve guarded for years, ready to emerge because it felt safe enough to do so.

Intimacy wasn’t this scary monster I always viewed it as anymore. It was more like a challenge.

A challenge my inexperienced self, somehow, must tackle. Shit, I might as well be a born-again virgin at this point.

“**Ask Neron to be your teacher**,” Artemis suddenly spoke from the silence.

“*My teacher*?” I asked, turning toward the bathroom closet in search of my microfiber hair towel.

“**Yes**. **Since you need a little more than a nudge in the sex department, maybe Neron could step into the role of guiding you through your own pleasure, if you ask him, of course**.” She clarified. “**And the dynamic would be, how the humans say, *hot***.”

I flipped my hair forward, securing the towel on my head before twisting it into a turban-like style, tucking any stragglers inside. When I looked back at the mirror, not only could I see my cheeks reddening under my melanin and my pupils blown wide, but the pressure in my legs increased dramatically. *Neron as my pleasure teacher*? *Navigating my desires with me*? The not-so-innocent images of him exacting his sternness over me as he coaxes an explosion of bliss from me were…

“*I don’t know what’s more concerning: the fact you’re suggesting this or that the idea intrigues me*.”

Artemis released a loud, humored laugh. “**You’re taking baby steps, Kiya**. **And if what I’ve experienced with Onyx was any indication, Neron will be more than happy to take his sweet time with you**.”

“*So*…” I sang with a slight pep in my voice. “*What was it like getting intimate with Onyx, finally*?”

I closed my eyes and was presented with a cute image of Artemis hiding her eyes behind her paws like a shy schoolgirl. “**A beast that could pull five orgasms out of me without using his dick is a beast I’d do anything for**.”

“*F-five*?” I stammered. “*Do you have any idea how sluggish I felt waking up this morning*?”

“**You mean sluggish and euphoric**. **But, yes, the day I spent with Onyx was like the angels of heaven granted me a piece of their home**. **I don’t think I could love him more than I already do**.”

My heart swelled with glee as I strode out of the bathroom, bee-lining toward my closet. I shuddered when a cool blast from my air-conditioner hit my wet skin. Artemis’ happiness was also my happiness. I wanted her to feel like this all the time, even though I knew the only obstacle that was in her way was me.

“*I also wanted to thank you for checking in with me, Art*,” I said, recalling our very brief conversation before she fell back into her delirium of pleasure. Artemis asked me for permission before she and Onyx proceeded. She made sure I was comfortable before continuing. I didn’t deserve someone as great as her. “*It means a lot to me*.”

“**It’s my pleasure, Kiki**. **There is no need to thank me**. **It’s what I’m supposed to do**.”

“*You respected my boundaries*. *You deserve more than my thanks*.”

“**Now, none of that**. **It’s basic, mandatory respect**. **Your body is your body, remember**?”

“*Yeah*.” Grabbing the hanger holding my chosen dress for today, I stepped in front of the full-length mirror, and dropped my towel. The fabric pooled at my feet, exposing my bare body to the cool atmosphere. Yep, it’s my body alright—from my narrow shoulders to my full breasts, down my flat belly, curving around my hips and hip dips, lowering to my thighs and legs, ending at the tips of my toes. Everything was here; all that made me anatomically female.

But there was *still* that small sense of revulsion hidden underneath the dermis.

My body was lovely to look at, but why did I *still* feel disgusted by it?

I fished out my black bralette and matching cheeky panties from the mini-drawer before tugging the brown dress from its hanger. I slithered into my undergarments and dress, smoothening out the wrinkles with my hands. The hem brushed against the back of my knees as I returned to the closet. My thoughts went into overdrive as I clutched the steel bar, sinking deep into my head.

Could Neron’s ‘teachings’ help me get rid of that disgust I feel? I was sick of it and its history hanging over my head.

“*I’ll ask him*,” I said, my mind made up. “*He’s taught art to the pups, so this can’t be any different, right*?”

“**Teachers are guides, no matter what subject they teach**. **I don’t doubt Neron will make your experience a great one**. **You just have to make that first step**.”

“*You’re right*.” I stepped out of the closet. “*I’m surprised you didn’t consider doing this with Onyx*.”

“**Who said he didn’t teach me a few things he liked**? **He taught me how to gag properly**!”

“*Wait*…” I scrunched up my face, recalling the other thing Artemis asked me permission for. “*Please tell me the salty aftertaste in the back of my throat isn’t what I think it is*.”

“**It is**. **And Onyx ate a lot of fruit before we did it, so it made it taste sweet**. **I liked it**.”

“*Goddamn, Artemis*.” I laughed, holding my cheek. “*What else don’t I know about you*?”

“**I might have a breeding kink**.”

“*We don’t do that here*.”

Closing my bedroom door behind me, I made my way to Neron’s office, knowing he’d be there. There’s no turning back. All I have to do is pop the question and wait for his response. Simple, right? His scent emanated from the wooden doors, pulling my body heat into a dance of desire. I could smell it all day and never grow tired of it. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I raised my fist and knocked on the paneling.

I swung the door open once he told me to come in. Two manilla folders on his desk had papers paper-clipped together with Alana and Aiyana’s photos stapled at the upper righthand corner. Their new files, I assume. Neron paused momentarily and angled his head toward me, shining one of his brilliant smiles.

He looked more relaxed today than he did two days ago.

“Kiya. What do I owe the pleasure?” He asked me.

*Exactly that*.

“Oh, um, I wanted to ask you something.” I said, pivoting from one foot to the other. He gestured with his hand to the spare chair, and I plopped into it, folding my leg over the other. “Is art the only thing you’re able to teach?”

“For the time being, yes.” Neron answered, squiggling his pen on paper. “You want to be one of my students?”

“Yes, but…” I ran my tongue over my teeth. “Not in art. In something else.”

The alpha paused, setting his pen down before folding his hands. “And what is this ‘something else’?”

I grasped the arms of my chair to force myself to sit. The direct approach Neron was taking was a bit intimidating, and I wasn’t used to being on the receiving end. Feeling Artemis’ encouragement nudging me forward, I sucked in a deep breath, exhaled, and met his eye.

“Pleasure.”

He lifted both of his eyebrows. “Pleasure…”

“Yes.” I bobbed my head. “What our wolves did together yesterday helped me realize how much I wanted to delve deeper into my desires. I want to find out what I like, don’t like, and feel the pleasure I denied myself of. Needless to say, I’m not super apprehensive about intimacy anymore. And I want you to guide me through it all. To become my pleasure teacher.”

Silence.

Neron stared at me with unmoving eyes, like a museum statue, but I didn’t miss the growing fire in his darkening cobalts. Every second that passed felt like an eternity, and my body was falling into the urge to run away. After an agonizing minute, I couldn’t take it anymore and rose out of my seat to—

“Sit, Kiya.”

That simple command stoked the flame burning in my belly. My body, as if it was controlled by an invisible puppeteer, obeyed his order, and found its place back in the chair. Dryness dominated my throat as my eyes tracked Neron’s movements from when he rose out of his chair, rounded the desk, and sat on the front edge. One leg was partially bent, and the other was planted firmly against the ground. He folded his hands on his lap and angled his body toward me, the magnetism of his aura pulling me in by the chest.

“Are you sure you want that, Kiya?” He asked, his voice strained with emotion. “You want me to help you feel good?”

“Yes. I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t want it.”

He reached toward my hair and spun a curl around his finger. “You must know that I’m not a lax teacher, but I’m not exacting either. I can help you reach the highest forms of pleasure, but you must guide me as much as I guide you.”

“How do I do that?” I asked breathlessly.

“Communicate.” He responded, the curl snapping back in place once released. “When I ask how you’re feeling, you must tell me the truth. If I’m going too fast or too slow, you must let me know. If there is any moment you want me to stop, tell me **immediately**. That’s the only rule I have for you. Bodily responses can be misconstrued, so I expect you to verbally communicate when something doesn’t feel good. Understand?”

Exhaling a breath, I gave him a firm nod. “I understand.”

Neron cupped the back of my neck, caressing the column with his thumb. The pad ghosted over my rapid pulse, drawing an involuntary shiver from me. “Good.” The surrounding aura changed. When I walked in, it was composed and open, but now it clamped around me like a possessive lover, ready to drop me headfirst into ecstasy.

And I *really* liked it.

He swallowed hard, carrying his hand to my cheek. My eyes dipped to his pant zipper, witnessing the great rising pressing against the fabric. I couldn’t differentiate from my cheek heating on its own or Neron’s palm doing it for me.

“Your first lesson will begin in five minutes.” He spoke, grinning from ear-to-ear. “I need to finish up the girls’ documents, so please head to my room and make yourself comfortable. I’ll be there shortly.”

“Wait, we’re starting already?”

“Yes.” He eyed me again. “Are there any objections?”

*Okay, I think I’m going to like Professor Neron*.

“Nope. None.”

“Then, you best be on your way.”

My legs gained a mind of their own and carried me out toward Neron’s room. I was excited to see what was in store, yet nervous for those same reasons. Jiggling the doorknob, I let myself in, shut the door behind me, and hopped on the mattress, shuffling toward the edge.

*Inhale*. *Exhale*. *Inhale*. *Exhale*.

“**Would you like it if I was with you during the lesson**?” Artemis asked.

I almost teared up in appreciation. “*Thank you, Art, but I want to do this on my own*. *You don’t need to hold my hand through this*.”

“**It’s a habit of mine, Kiki**. **You know this**.” She chuckled before sighing. “**Alright**. **Good luck and have fun**. **You know where to find me if you need me**.”

“*I love you, Artemis*.”

“**I love you too, Kiya**.”

Artemis tucked herself behind a wall, leaving me alone. The seconds ticked by as I awaited patiently for Neron’s arrival. Sounds of children and adults alike echoed from the window, barely drowned out by the silent hum of the air-conditioner. Everyone was in their little world, completely oblivious to what their alpha was about to conduct in the privacy of his bedroom.

Two minutes turned to three. Three turned to four. And four turned to five.

Not a second later, I heard the tumbling of the doorknob and the creek of the open door. Heavy steps entered the space, along with the gentle click of a closing door. I didn’t look up, but I was viscerally aware of Neron’s presence dominating the room. The steps grew louder, quieting by a slight margin when they resounded again behind me.

Then, there was the dip in the mattress and a soft kiss pressed against the side of my neck.

“How are you feeling now?” Neron asked me in a whisper.

“Good, just a little nervous.” I answered in a shaky tone. “I’m not sure what to expect.”

“We will not dive right into sex, but we’ll take things slowly.” He explained, cupping my shoulders, and running his hands down my biceps and triceps. “Are you ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“You see that full-length mirror beside my closet?”

Raising my head, I found Neron’s gaze through the reflection. He was on his knees on the mattress behind me, hands secured on my arms in a mix of protection and possession.

“Take off your dress, hand it to me, and stand in front of it.”

“That’s it?” I asked. “You’re not taking my panties like Onyx did?”

“Oh, no.” He laughed, shaking his head. “I’ll return the ones he kept yesterday once I find them.”

“Good, because those were my favorite pair.”

“And they’re his favorite pair, too. Now, no more stalling.” He nudged me on my feet. “Go on.”

*Did it just get hot in here or was it me*? *I’m pretty sure it was me*. Steeling my resolve, I stood on my feet and gripped the hem of my brown dress, pulling it over my head. I shivered, not from the cool air, but from scorching eyes following the outline of my form. Once the dress was off, I handed it to Neron. He folded it up and tossed it on his settee.

I was naked aside from my black bralette and underwear. Neron pointed to the mirror with his head, and I stood in front of it. Upon seeing my reflection, I pursed my lips, feeling that miniscule disgust rising again.

“When you look into that mirror, what do you see?”

Confused, I shot my head back at him. “What?”

“What do you see?” Neron repeated.

“Uh…” I turned back at my reflection. “Me?”

“No, Kiya, what do you *really* see?”

“Neron, what’s the point of this?” I inquired, crossing my arms. “Is this even part of the lesson?”

“…This is the lesson.” The alpha readjusted himself on the mattress, sitting on the edge with both elbows propped on either thigh. “Back in Miami, when we kissed in the bathroom, you stopped abruptly. While I know it was too sudden for us to engage in such activities, there was something else that stopped you, right? You say that you don’t know pleasure, but do you believe your body deserved to feel pleasure?”

I bit my bottom lip, lowering my eyes to my feet. How was he able to hit the nail on the head so well? Yes, I didn’t believe this body deserved pleasure, especially not after what it went through. Sexual pleasure, pleasing myself in those same areas that experienced reprehensible violence, was too much for me to handle. My body was a damaged vessel that needed time to recover and that meant avoiding any resemblance to my rapes in order to do so.

Now, it was different. I wanted to embrace my sexual side, but when I look in the mirror, I still see Tristan’s handprints seared into my skin. Overtime, many of those prints faded, but some were still there. Big, nasty, and ugly. I raised my head and cursed myself for the damning tears watering in my eyes.

“Long story short, no.” I answered. “When I look in the mirror, I still see the damage done to me from Tristan. Some days, I don’t see them, but on others, I do. They’re invisible reminders of what happened to me, and only I can see them. All this body has known was violence. Once upon a time, I hated this body and, maybe, a part of me still does.”

*Wow, that was such a mood killer*.

I caught a tear on my finger before it fell, sniffling deeply. Would Neron turn away and stop teaching me? I wouldn’t blame him if he did.

But instead of an outright rejection, his arms encircled my waist, and he pulled me into his chest. I gasped, peering at his reflection in the mirror, noticing his chin resting on top of my head. He kissed my curls and pressed his cheek on my crown, squeezing me gently.

“You’ve been through so much, more than what anyone should go through.” He whispered. I reclined against him. “I understand why you’d still feel repulsed by your body. Yet, I don’t think you see how much this body has experienced good and *done* good. You’re absolutely beautiful, Kiya, but not just from your appearance. Your heart and soul matches in beauty as well.”

Neron raised his head. “Do you want me to show you what I mean?”

I nodded. “Sure.”

He took a step back, his hands moving from my waist to the top of my head. His fingers tangled with my hair, tugging them gently as they found their way to my scalp. “Let us start with this versatile mass of kinks and coils. Did you put aloe vera in your hair?”

“You have a good nose.” I chuckled, grinning. “I conditioned my hair with it.”

“Well, the fact that you’re able to style your hair a thousand different ways represents your personality and attitude. Dynamic and ever-changing. There’s always something new every single day, and I get to see the different parts of you that make you whole. Plus, it changes color when Artemis is out, which makes it pretty damn amazing.”

“Taking care of it is a hell of a hassle. My wash days take up an entire day.”

“It means you love your hair.”

“I really do.”

Neron descended his hands down to my face and pinched my cheeks gently. “Cutie.”

“Hey!” I whined. “I had enough cheek pinching from your grandma!”

“Still. You’re a cutie.” After a couple more pinches, he ran the pad of his fingers over my eyebrows, the arch of my nose, around my lips, and my chin. “Do you know what my favorite part of your face is?”

“My lips?” I asked, smiling smugly.

“Your eyes.” He corrected. “They tell the stories of your inner thoughts and emotions. And they’re pretty, especially when the moonlight shines in them.”

Blinking, I looked up at Neron again. “Are you going to compliment on every body part I have?”

“Yes, so you’ll learn to appreciate the gifts it brings and why this *temple* is more than its past.”

Neron refused to let me move or hide away as he took his time running his hands across and down my body, pointing out not just what he loves about each part, but what it did for me and other people.

My hands helped to save Alana and Aiyana from a life of further torment. Those same hands helped him anchor back to reality when he was crumbling.

My arms held the strength to carry my niece, nephew, and my cats. Those same arms competed against strong opponents, channeling enough strength to snag my victories.

My stomach can consume food three times my body weight yet remains toned.

Unsurprisingly, he liked the way my breasts jiggle whenever I move. He adores my hips and hip dips.

My legs walked many paths of life, sometimes fell, but were the foundation for me to rise above my pain, thighs and all.

I couldn’t stop the tears from falling, not because I was overwhelmed or sad, because I could feel the love in his voice whenever he spoke. Neron spoke of the love I’ve struggled to give to my body and myself.

“Your body aside, Kiya, what trumps over it all is the sweet and powerful voice you possess. Many tried hard to destroy it, to take it away because they knew that the moment you start speaking, their destruction becomes real. Your voice has saved many and hurt many, but it loves just as hard. Your eyes are my favorite attribute of your face, but your voice is my favorite attribute of **you**.”

That was the rock that broke the dam. Every bodily function faltered with my tears bucketing down like a storm. Without warning, I whirled around and buried my face in Neron’s chest, securing my arms around his waist like he’d save me from toppling onto my knees. He toughened his hold and rocked me from side-to-side as I silently cried, whispering Norwegian in my ear. There weren’t enough words in the dictionary that could describe how much I loathed my body because my rapist stole my autonomy.

Now, overwhelmed with love and appreciation, it was the first time I felt secure in this vessel—no, this *temple*. Because Neron took the time to show me it was more than the past; it was the future.

The revulsion disappeared for good, now replaced with a pressuring desire arriving back at full force.

Catching my breath, I wiped my tears vigorously from my face. I arched my head up at Neron and said, “I want you to touch me.”

Neron was taken aback by my boldness. His hands were still ensnared around my waist. “Kiya—”

“I’m okay, Neron. I’m more than okay.” Straightening my posture, I narrowed in on his blues. My eyes speak more than my mouth, right? He’ll know what I want, then. “I don’t want to be scared anymore. I want you to burn Tristan’s touch from my skin for good.”

I pressed my lips on his chest through the fabric of his blouse and raised my head again, resting my chin on his sternum. The sparkle in his eye flickered back and forth from desire to reluctance. I squeezed to reassure him. “Touch me, Neron, please.”

Before I could react, Neron slid his hands underneath my armpits and lifted me off the ground. He walked us back to the bed, planting his rear on the mattress and rearranged my body to where I sat on his lap with my back facing him, my legs hooked on either side of his knees, spread open for the cool air to lick against my sodden panties.

It was when I realized we were sitting directly in front of the mirror, our bodies in full view.

“Paintbrush.”

“What?”

“When you’re feeling too overwhelmed or you want me to stop, your safe word is paintbrush.”

The support on my breasts disappeared. Neron had removed my bralette, my breasts spilling out freely into the space. “I want you to look at how beautiful you’ll look while falling apart.” His lips immediately ravaged the column of my neck. One hand reached up to knead one of my breasts, and the other disappeared inside my panties, his fingers gathering up the slick I made before finding my clit.

I threw my head back and fell deep into pure *bliss*.

My body trembled and buckled with the sinful magic of Neron’s fingers and lips. His stubble brushing against my shoulder only added to the thunderbolts of pleasure hitting my body at all angles. I felt his teeth as he bit down gently on my neck, pulling a desperate moan from my lips, sucking the skin into his mouth.

I balled the bedsheets into my fists, trying and failing to find stable ground as I ascended above the heavens of delirium. His hands caressed the under-curve of both my breasts before tweaking and rolling each nipple between his fingers. My hips gyrated in his lap when he thrusted a finger into my leaking pussy, quickly adding in another.

“Oh, fuck!” I cried out, panting. “N-Neron…”

“Look at the mirror, *min gudinna*.” He groaned. Trembling, I turned my head toward the mirror. His eyes glittered brightly as his hand coaxed more and more of my liquid heat, dripping from his fingers to the floor. “You’re like the picture-perfect portrait I’d hang on my wall. Even in the throes of pleasure, you’re fucking radiant.”

*Too much*. *It was all too much*.

The pressure continued to rise. My shaking legs were held apart as he worked my pussy like an expert violinist. I clutched his muscled forearm, squeezing tightly when flashes of white appeared in my vision. I ground my hips harder and faster, failing to contain my moans and mewls.

“Yes, ride my hand, love.”

“N-Neron…” I whimpered, holding onto him for dear life. “It’s…too much—!”

“Let it go, Kiya. You’re safe with me, *min godjenta*.”

There was a brief pause.

And then, an *explosion*.

I threw my head back in a shriek. I saw stars and fucking galaxies behind my eyelids as my muscles contracted. Hard. My pussy squeezed around Neron’s fingers, cracking the dam of pleasure building from within. My orgasm gushed out, drenching his entire hand and splashing onto the floor. It was as if I touched the highest points of heaven, and I’m falling back to earth, crashing in a bed of warmth and security. I felt safe. I *was* safe.

Neron held me with his free arm while I gradually regained my senses. A haze filled my vision when I opened my eyes, gently clearing into the bedroom. The tiniest of sensations blew across my skin, sending my nerves into overdrive. I whimpered when my boyfriend kissed my cheek, the mild heat from his lips feeling like fire.

“Congratulations, angel. You just had your first orgasm.”

“Wow…” I murmured, blinking. “That was…whoa.”

Neron chuckled, his chest rumbling against my back. He shifted my legs and position to where I was sitting diagonally on his lap. I felt his hardened arousal digging into the bottom of my thighs. “I take it you’re feeling okay?”

“I feel…great.” I grinned, setting my head on his shoulder. “Thank you. Is it weird to thank you for making me come?”

“Nope. In fact, I welcome it.” Neron leaned down to kiss my lips.

“So…” I sang, biting my bottom lip. “What’s the next lesson?”

“Eagar, aren’t we?” He purred, pinching my hip. “I have a rough idea of what it’ll be, but give me time to plan. I promise it’ll be worth the wait.”

But I didn’t want to wait. In fact, I wanted more. After Neron kissed me, it renewed me with a new sense of purpose and energy, and I needed to burn it off. Thinking back to his hard dick under my thighs, I got an idea. “Do you offer extra credit?”

“Extra credit?”

“Yes.” I adjusted my body to the same position Neron had me in earlier, except I was facing him. My hand went to the tent in his pants, and I squeezed gently, relishing in his grunts and his eyes rolling back. “I’d like to learn how to pleasure you. I want to know what feels good to you, too.”

When I dove into his opened zipper and brushed against his hardened shaft, my breath hitched in my throat. I cocked my head to the side, running my teeth over my smile, looking down at Neron. “Can I have the extra credit assignment, sir?”

The alpha surged forward and imprisoned my lips in a combustible kiss. His tongue parted my lips and swallowed the mewls spilling from my mouth into his. Separating, he panted and held me captive with his coal-colored eyes.

“*Yes, you can, my favorite student*."