Chapter 37 - Wildflower

*“If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.” ― Virginia Woolf*

***Nuria***

Something didn’t feel right.

Was it because of my weird-ass psychic abilities? Maybe. But I know some shit isn’t sitting right with me.

I sat on Phoebe’s couch with my elbow propped on the spine and my head on my fist. My foot was shaking nonstop for the past five minutes. An irritating headache tap-danced across and inside my skull to the point I wanted to rip my hair out. My mate wasn’t home at the moment, for she went with Aunt Lyra to buy groceries, but I didn’t know if her absence made things worse for me.

My phone rested in my lap as I waited for the buzz of a text message from my brotherly beanstalk. Neron normally answers my texts within the first minute of receiving them, if not faster. Yet, it’s been ten minutes and counting. Either he must be busy with his alpha duties or daydreaming about fucking my best friend, but I needed to talk to him.

Sighing, I picked up my phone, selected his contact labeled Godzilla with a wolf emoji, and typed away.

**ME**: *Hey Sasquatch*. *No pressure, but I really need to talk to you*. *Call me as soon as you can*.

Tossing my phone on the table, I dragged my legs up on the couch cushions and rested my head against a pillow, folding my hands on my belly. I exhaled sharply through my nose. The silence of the house should calm me, but it only made my thoughts ring louder in my cranium.

*Morfar* said that intense emotions could trigger my visions, but once the ball rolls, it collects more shit I couldn’t ignore.

I’ve been getting one vision after another since Neron sent me away. Garnet Moon has been more than welcoming to me, but the new atmosphere couldn’t calm my anxiety from the horrors I’ve seen in the past few days.

Phoebe was at the epicenter of all my recent visions. It’s her, but somehow, I knew it **wasn’t** her. My Starlight wasn’t a vicious killing machine. Her smiles were never filled with malice. Surrounded by roaring flames licking her frame, the precipice of my fear was when she surged forward and attacked me.

‘*Don’t trust everything you see, wildflower*.’

The psychic vision cut off before she snatched my soul from my body, but it didn’t leave me with any relief.

Why am I seeing this? Are they legitimate warnings or stress-induced illusions?

The worst part about it is that my heart was wavering. Fear and doubt blended together like watercolors in my heart, affecting my thought process about my mate. We haven’t been together for very long, but I knew that the Phoebe I sleep next to every night and kiss every morning was my true Phoebe.

So, what were the winds of fate trying to show me by shattering my dreams and morphing those pieces into my nightmares?

Groaning, I scrubbed my face with my hands, lifting my head from the pillow. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to tell me I couldn’t keep this to myself for much longer. However, how the bloody fuck am I supposed to start this conversation with Phoebe?

'*Hey, love*. *I’ve been getting visions about you killing me with fire*. *Care to explain why*?'

I checked my phone again. Neron still hasn’t responded. He’s getting a shampoo bottle full of hair remover when I get back home.

So, my only and most painful option was…

“I’m back!” Phoebe called out from the door, lugging in two bags of groceries with a lollipop dangling from her mouth.

…to tell her. I sucked in a deep breath and rose from the couch, walking toward my golden-haired mate. My stomach constricted. Why did I feel like bringing the visions up will cause more trouble than what it’s worth?

“Welcome home, little star.” I pulled the green-apple lollipop out of her mouth and captured her lips in a kiss, tasting the sweetness of the candy with her natural taste. Phoebe’s giggles went straight to my crotch as I wrapped my arms around her waist, drinking her in. The grocery bags bumped against my legs when she closed our distance.

*Fuck, I wanted to unwrap her myself and eat her whole*.

When we separated, I was met with concerned purples and arched blond eyebrows. “Are you alright, Nuria?”

“Um…” I gulped, running my tongue over my teeth. “…there’s something that we need to talk about.”

“Okay.” She ambled into her kitchen, settling her bags on the table with a ‘plop’. I watched her skirt flutter with her movements, enthralled by the sway of her pretty hips and the bounce of her firm ass. “Does it have to do with your visions?”

“How did you know?”

“Your kisses have been different the past two days.” Phoebe explained, stuffing heads of iceberg lettuce in her fridge. “Your kisses are normally light and airy, like the clouds in the sky. Lately, they’ve felt heavier.” She poked her head up from the fridge door. “It’s difficult to hide your true emotions when they’re interwoven deeply in your natural aura.”

“And you didn’t say anything until now?” I asked.

“I figured you’d tell me when you’re ready.” Closing the fridge, she went to her bags and pulled out several containers of seasoning. She walked to one of the overhead cabinets and set them inside. “Are you ready now?”

I sucked in a deep breath, continuing to track her movements like a hawk. *Nothing gets past the witch, huh*?

Phoebe may not know why I’ve been out-of-touch, but my heart soared knowing she truly cared about me. After she finished putting away her groceries, I took her by the hands and led her to the couch. We plopped down at the same time, facing each other with our knees touching.

Angelika howled in delight in my head. At this rate, I wasn’t sure how long I can hold her back until she leaped on Phoebe again. It happened once before I found out Dad was alive, and Phoebe was still looking for the bra she hid.

“So…” I droned. “I’ve been having back-to-back visions over the past few days. They’ve been terrible, and they’ve left me with more questions than answers. I’m still getting used to having this ability, but it’s been challenging.”

“Your Third Eye is wide open.” Phoebe said, her voice calm and sweet. “That could be a factor in why you’re having rapid visions. I know a couple of tricks and techniques you can use to calm it. I think they’ll help Neron too with his.”

“Meditation isn’t my cup of tea. My mind is on cocaine all hours of the day, so there isn’t really calming that.”

“Regardless, you need to try. I’ll help you.” She leaned forward and touched my knee, squeezing her fingers against the demin, and rubbing slow circles into the joint. “What were the visions about?”

I inhaled a breath of courage, sliding my hand on top of hers. “You. They were of you.”

Phoebe's eyes glinted with curiosity. “Me? But, you said they were bad visions…”

“Because they are. In each of them, you killed me or were trying to kill me.”

I hated this. I hated the agonizing silence falling between us. Phoebe’s jaw worked tight, her purples swirling with her racing thoughts. Part of me wanted to stop and take back what I said, to preserve the sweetness we had earlier, but the other knew I had to spill the beans.

“That’s disturbing.” My mate responded in a hoarse whisper. “Why…”

“Fire surrounded you, Phoebe. You had this look in your eye that was almost inhuman, like you were possessed. Each vision had you burning something different, but in the one I had this morning before you left, you burned a field of flowers.”

My star was silent, but her purples continue to swirl with her thoughts. Her fingers ceased their circles on my knee. “F-flowers…”

“You always called me *wildflower* before the visions end.”

Phoebe audibly choked and yanked her hand away from me like she had touched an open flame. I jumped when she shot up on her legs and scampered over to her altar, muttering incoherently to herself. My heart ricocheted off my chest in fear as I stood up as well.

“Phoebe?”

“I-I don’t think those visions are legitimate.” She responded quickly, rearranging her crystals noisily, bending down to pick some up when she dropped them. This was bad. Phoebe was very particular about how she arranged her crystals, even to the point I didn’t touch them. Now, her rearrangement was more of a mess, swirling and muddling up the balance she put time and effort into keeping. “You’re stressed out.”

I blinked, baffled. “Phoebe, even you know that’s bullshit. I didn’t make these visions up. I know what I saw.”

“Are you certain?” She asked, slightly panicked. When I reached for her arm, she veered away and bolted into the kitchen. This wasn’t the actions of a cool and collected woman. These were the actions of someone hiding something too big for them to handle. “Like I said, they could be stress related. You did just find out that your dad is alive, and it must be messing with your head. I wouldn’t hurt you, Nuria.”

“I know you wouldn’t, love, but I have to take these visions seriously.” I replied, firm. Phoebe fiddled with her dish towel, desperately searching for…whatever she was trying to look for. My ears picked up on her rapid breathing through her nose and my eyes picked up on hers, unfocused and darting from side to side.

Every cell in my body pushed me to comfort her. To protect her. Any wolf in a ten-mile radius can smell the fear rolling off her scent. I reached for her again and she hopped back, evading my touch.

“Don’t!” She shrieked. “Please, don’t touch me.”

“Phoebe, what is going on?” I demanded, ignoring the throbbing pain in my heart from her rejection. “What aren’t you telling me? My visions mean something to you, don’t they?”

She didn’t answer. A very faint whimper left her lips, too low for human ears to pick up, but loud enough for mine to. With how Phoebe was acting, it raised some frightening questions. The witch darted away from me, seeking refuge on the stairs, but I grabbed her in time to stop her from climbing.

“Phoebe!”

“Your visions are lying to you!” She screamed in my face. “None of it is real. I don’t know what the universe or your third eye is trying to tell you, but it’s full of lies and crap.”

“You can’t tell me what I saw wasn’t real.” I replied, feeling my anger ticking up from my chest to my throat. “Babe, I didn’t just see this vision, I **felt** it. Everything! Even now, I can feel the fire against my skin. If you honestly think I’m lying, look me in the eye and say it.”

Phoebe’s face darkened with her forlorn frown; the energy zapped from all her muscles. She long ceased her struggle, but now she looked defeated. Her lips parted with her sigh as she lowered her eyes from my gaze, too afraid to look at them.

“You don’t understand…” She whimpered.

“Help me understand.” Dropping her arm, I gripped her shoulder with one and curled my fingers underneath her chin. “What about my visions has you so spooked? Is it the fire?”

“No.” She shook her head. “I almost never use my fire powers. The last time I used them was three years ago to help Kiya defeat Osiris.”

“Then, what is it? Phoebe, you can trust me.”

Twin amethyst pools found my blues. A solitary witch was used to building up walls to thwart others from entering their world. With every minute I spent with Phoebe; loving her, caring for her, making her laugh. Those walls crumbled. Each day, I’m introduced with a side of Phoebe I’ve never seen before, nor has she ever shown to anyone. Underneath her cool, soothing demeanor, my mate was a vulnerable kitten needing someone to take care of her.

And I was so happy to be that someone to her.

But, looking into her mystical eyes, I saw her scrambling to build the walls back up, brick by brick. They were guarding a part of her heart she was too frightened to show. A part that was forbidden territory for me to enter. My desire to reach out was great; to hold on to her arms to stop her from finishing her walls.

She can trust me. I’m more than her mate. I’m Phoebe’s friend, confidant, and protector.

I needed to know what scared her so much.

I needed to know who or what put this fear into her beautiful soul.

Above all, I wanted, so desperately, to help her.

Phoebe fluttered her eyes close and expelled a sigh from her pink lips. She removed my hands from her shoulder and chin, shaking her head. Once again, I was hit by the sting of rejection. I waited in bated breath when she opened her eyes again, scrutinizing me.

“There are some things better left untold, Nuria. You shouldn’t ask for answers you aren’t prepared to hear.”

The chill in her voice rendered me speechless.

“Nuria, I know you care about me, but whatever or whoever you saw in those visions isn’t me. I’m no monster. I’m no killer.”

“I never called you any of those things…”

“I don’t care if you did or didn’t.” Her purples hardened like diamonds, impenetrable but still beautiful. “I’m not blaming you for anything, but understand that there are some things I just **can’t** talk about.”

“But—!”

“No, Nuria.” Phoebe reprimanded before exhaling. “I trust you, but not with this. Just forget about the damn visions and drop the subject.”

Angelika whined at Phoebe’s glare, unable to take her anger. I couldn’t either, not when my heart couldn’t handle it. “You know I can’t forget them.” My whisper was pained. Pleading. “What if they come true? You know they will.”

My angry mate ground her teeth behind her lips. “I’d never hurt you, Nuria. **Never**. But I don’t like that you insinuated I might.”

Before I could defend myself, Phoebe turned on her heels and stomped up the stairs to her room. The resounding slam of her door echoed in my heart and forced it from its chamber, dropping to the pit of my stomach. I stood staring at the spot she departed from, in utter disbelief at what just happened.

I tried to think of different scenarios that this could’ve turned out different. That somehow I must’ve come on too strong and scared her. Deep in my chest, I knew these visions meant something to me. *To her*. As soon as I mentioned the wildflower thing, it was like the Phoebe I loved and cherish was gone at the flip of the light switch.

My voice stilled at the base of my throat, the letters of her name dancing across my tongue but unable to escape. Every instinct told me to fuck the consequences and march after Phoebe to show her she can trust me, and that no matter what, I wouldn’t love her any differently.

But I knew if I did that, I’d make the situation worse.

She needed space. We needed space.

Overriding my instincts, I walked to the table beside the door, picked up my car keys, and left her house as quietly as I could. My thoughts ran an entire marathon as I hopped into my car, turned on the engine, and drove off the grounds.

As much as I loved Garnet Moon, everywhere I turn, I was hit with a reminder of Phoebe and I knew if I stayed, I’d break my vow to take things slowly with her. We’re mates, and she wouldn’t appreciate me barging into a moment where she needed time to recollect herself.

I had to get away. Just for a bit. I needed to calm myself down because the tears burning in my eyes weren’t doing me any favors.

I drove for ten minutes until I couldn’t take it anymore. Parking on the side of the road, I slammed my fists against the steering wheel and heave out every breath of pain swirling in my lungs. The sun glinted off the hood of the car and side-view mirror, but it did nothing to warm me.

Only Phoebe’s arms could warm me in ways the sun could never.

I grabbed my phone that was resting in one of my cup holders and checked my messages. Neron still hasn’t responded, nor has he seen them. I swiped away and clicked on Kiya’s contact, labeled ‘Tiny Mooncake’ with heart emojis, typing away on the keyboard.

**ME**: *Kiki, can we talk*? *I’m feeling very lost and confused about some things and I really need to hear your voice*. *Please call me as soon as you get this text*.

Expelling a heavy sigh, I rolled down my window, leaned my head back against the headrest, and shut my eyes. The serenity of the empty road and the perfume of the surrounding trees calmed the buzzing thoughts in my head, especially the ones telling me it’s my fault for triggering Phoebe and that I’m a horrible girlfriend.

This is my first relationship. The first time I’ve ever been in love. I wanted to do right by my mate, even over this argument.

I snorted inwardly. Wow, we just had our first fight, didn’t we?

“*How should I make it up to her, Angie*? *I don’t want her to keep thinking that I hate her or that I think she’d hurt me*.”

“**You never implied that**. **Honestly, Phoebe could be overreacting, but I think she was coming from a place of fear**. **There’s a lot about her that she hasn’t told us, and that she isn’t ready to tell us**.”

“*You’re right*. *I just don’t want to push too hard; you know*?”

“**Don’t worry about that, firecracker**. **I’d tell you if you were**. **To be fair, when you push, you break shit, just like you did with her front door**.”

“*Hey, you were onboard with it, too*!”

“**I have no recollection of the event in question**.”

“*Bitch*.”

“**So are you**.”

I grinned to myself, feeling lighter already. Angelika always knew how to cheer me up, even when she didn’t intend to.

“*Anyway, you didn’t answer my first question*.”

“**Jelly-filled donuts and churros**. **She loves those**. **Get her some as a symbol of a truce and then work your way up to the talk**.”

On cue, my stomach growled. I could go for some sweets too, and Neron wasn’t here to bother me about how much sugar I was eating.

Yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something happened to him. He’s never gone this long without texting me.

*I should call him*.

When I reached for my phone, a sudden chill slid down my spine, prompting the hairs on the back of my neck to stand. I looked around in my car, the area I was parked, and in the side-view mirrors and saw nothing. My heart hammered, and my lungs went into overdrive.

I wasn’t having a panic attack, but I knew I needed to high tail my ass out of here. Switching on the ignition, the hum of the car engine vibrated through my car.

In the split second it took me to reach the gearshift, a violent hand grabbed a bunch of my hair, yanked my head backward, then slammed my forehead against the steering wheel. The assailant was relentless, bypassing my hands grabbing their wrist and my claws digging into their skin to bash my head three more times.

“Get off me!” I roared, ignoring the searing pain and blood dripping down my face.

A high-pitched shrill grated my eardrums. “Oooh, we got a fighter on our hands! Taking you out will be so much fun!”

I heard the sound of the car door and I was ripped out of my seat by my hair, my seat belt scratching against my skin as it was forced from its lock. Screaming, my body landed on the pavement, and I was kicked into my stomach twice.

“Goddamnit, don’t kill her!” Another voice from a woman yelled from behind me. “We’re supposed to subdue her, not jump her!”

“I am subduing her, little pixie. Jonathan never told us ‘how’ to subdue her.” The sinister voice of my assaulter answered. I could hear the grin in her voice. Blood coated down my face, but when I opened my eyes, I looked into the orbs that stopped my heart dead in its tracks.

It was the purple eyes of my dreams, the face of my heart, but with the smile of hatred. My Phoebe.

“No…” I mumbled.

“Do I scare you?” Suddenly, I was hauled up on my feet. ‘Phoebe’ cocked her fist behind her head, and I saw the gleam of silver decorating her knuckles until it connected with my cheek, hurtling my body to the side of my car before slumping on the ground again.

*Pain*. *So much pain*!

I tried to get up, but the heel of my boot hit my spine, forcing me back to the ground.

Footsteps ran up to my ear. “Shit, Jonathan is going to snap our necks for this. We were supposed to bring Nuria to him unharmed.”

“I’ll apologize for the mess I made later. What matters is that we got her. Did Katalina get Celeste yet?”

*Mom*?! *What are they going to do with Mom*?!

“The old fish is on her way to get her. When we get back to our hideout, she’ll be there with the big bitch.”

“Good. I hate being out here in the sun.” ‘Phoebe’ suddenly giggled. “You’re excited, aren’t you?”

“Yes, because I get to have Neron again, just how it should be.”

“No…!” I croaked out, my throat burning from inhaling my blood and the dusty road. “W-what are you trying to fucking do?! Where is my brother?!”

“It looks like the witch’s whore was eavesdropping.” Two fingers grasped my chin and jerked my head toward the holder of my lover’s face. Her fanged smile was exposed, the tips of her sharpened canines gleaming from the sun. The silver that hit my cheek burned throughout my face, but it zapped my muscles of all their energy to fight back.

Because my visions had come true.

“Goodnight, sweet wildflower.”

Another blow landed on my face.

And my world turned to black.