Prelude II

*Noo… where am I? Why am I here…?* I cried inside my head while I walked in the dark corridor of this dank-smelling building. I tried not to make any noise in my slow progress in the dark. Even though I didn’t exactly know what was going on, I instinctively knew I couldn’t have anyone know where I was.
But it was hard to control my fright since waking up in this place. The cold floor where my naked feet walked was black with dirt and dust. I didn’t have to see them—I could feel them. The dust in the air clung to my sweaty skin and to my face, which was wet with tears. Whatever I had sensed since opening my eyes was only adding to my terror.
My eyes had barely adjusted to the darkness, but my nose could smell mold in the air and in the oldness of the building. I could feel paper on the floor and peeling paint and plaster on the wall.
This place used to be an office. Or a school? I wasn’t sure. But it was obviously a forsaken facility.
It felt like a huge, gawking space of inky darkness, as if every hole and window had been covered to prevent light from coming in, even at night. But I couldn’t fathom the limit of the ceiling and the ends of the hallway where I walked at.
I couldn’t feel or hear anyone… like I was all alone in the whole infrastructure.
The place had been abandoned for a long time. Like I felt I was.
But of course, that was not true, I wasn’t alone here. Someone brought me here.
I still wore my nurse’s uniform because I had just come out of my shift from the hospital, and it was dirty from running and bumping into things I couldn’t see in the dark.
My mom always kept my uniforms immaculate before she died three years ago. Since then, I had been virtually alone.
*Oh, Mommy… am I going to die in a dirty uniform? Please, help me, wherever you are. Save me! Oh my god… why am I thinking like this? God, Lord, please help me. Save me…!*
It was impossible to hazard a guess on where I was.
The last thing I could remember before I was abducted was walking out to the back parking lot of the hospital toward my car.
It was night and past dinner time, and I remembered looking forward to a delicious home-cooked meal I only needed to microwave. I cooked bento meals at the beginning of each week and organized them per day on the fridge.
It helped me manage my time. Sometimes, when I was too tired, I couldn’t even think what I would want to eat, and I ended up eating anything I could have my hands on, which usually was not good for me.
I had always thought my mom would not want me to live that way, deducing how she had meticulously taken care of me as I grew up, single mother that she was. She was a very strong woman.
I felt that organizing my household, and my life, made me feel closer to her.
With prep meals, I could choose nutritious food for my physical and mental needs, and I also felt that I worked better and think better on my feet with the kind of food I eat now.
My mother would be proud. It felt like it was still her hands that were running the show.
Except of course, during those nights I slipped out to the place where I could be far from the Nyleen she groomed to be.
In a slinky dress and makeup slathered on my face, moving sensuously, I was someone she would not recognize
A dirty lady, good enough to—
No… why was I thinking that tonight? I even remember asking myself as I opened the door to my car and slid myself behind the wheel. It wasn’t a thought for a day that didn’t belong to that secret persona, the one her mother never found out about.
Deep in thought, I didn’t notice the sweet smell in the air inside the car until a moment too late, because I knew what it was.
*Chloroform.*
But by then, strong and muscular arms had tightly held me from behind, and a hard hand covered my nose and mouth with the sickeningly sweet-smelling cloth.
I knew I had about five minutes before it could take effect. So, I struggled.
But my male attacker—he was strong. I heard him laugh under his breath as I struggled fruitlessly against his hold for what felt like forever.
And then I passed out.
When I came to just a few minutes ago, I was lying on my back on a floor thick with dust in one of the rooms behind me.
I couldn’t hear anything from outside that could give me a clue where I was, or if I was near anything, and there were long tears on my nurse’s uniform.
And it was cold.
A soft cry escaped my lips. I knew he hadn’t forced himself on me yet, if that was the plan. I should know if I had been penetrated.
But what else was done to me while I was passed out? What was his actual plan for me?
Was he hiding in this darkness, watching my terror as I tried to look for a way out of there?
I remembered the missing young women in the city for the past months.
Was I going to become one of them? Was this what had happened to them, too?
A lot of scenarios passed my head, none of them good.
*Are they even still alive? I need to get out of here!*
I continued to feel my way with my hands on the wall and my feet on the floor for any way out. I thought, if I didn’t stop groping for my way in whichever direction in the dark, I would finally reach the end of that floor and I could maybe find a staircase or a door to reach outside. This hallway couldn’t not have an ending.
Then I could ask for help.
When I heard the footfalls behind me, I clutched at my mouth to prevent a scream from coming out.
I closed my eyes and paused for a moment to calm myself.
I tried to be as quiet as I could, hoping he hadn’t seen me yet. Hoping he wasn’t looking for me because he thought I was still where he’d left me, passed out.
But I heard him call.
“Nyleen…? Nyleen…? Where are you, Nyleen…?”
My blood froze like ice.
I felt goosebumps all over my body.
Terror choked me as I moved faster. I didn’t care about noise suddenly. He already knew where I was.
My feet went quicker… didn’t mind whatever my bare soles walked into. My hands continued to grope the wall desperately.
I needed to go. I couldn’t be here. No.
*This isn’t happening to me, oh god!*
Where was the stupid door? Where were the windows in this place? And why wouldn’t this hallway end?!
I couldn’t hear anything, not his footsteps or the rustling in that cave-awful place of rocks and cement and tiles, as my thudding heart and a noise like blood rushing assailed my ears entirely. Terror had overwhelmed me, and I couldn’t think straight.
“Boom!”
“Eeeeeeeeh!”
My scream was so loud. The terrified need to get heard drove me to scream and scream since I was already found out. I didn’t think I was away from his sight, anyway. He was stringing me all along for his amusement.
I fought the hands that caught and held my wrists but it was futile, as he had them inside a loop that tightened in the next second.
His arms went around me again and his weight toppled me down. My hands were tied, and I couldn’t prevent myself from falling to the floor.
My breath was forced out of my chest by his heavy body because he crashed down on me. His hand, which cradled the side of my head, prevented it from hitting the hard floor.
But it was not out of kindness, he didn’t want me to pass out for what he next planned for me.
I was down on my stomach, and my tied hands were pinned between my body and the dirty floor.
I shrieked and cried when he began to roughly pull at my clothes until they started to tear.
Now I know why there were cuts and tears in the first place—so he could easily pull them completely off me when I was awake.
I felt the coldness of the air on my exposed back. I felt it when he next pulled and tore my panties off me.
“No! No, please! Don’t do this, ple-ease!” I begged.
But he had clamped a hand tightly to my mouth from behind so that I couldn’t even beg. I could feel him bearing down on me, his weight was painful, his excited breathing hot against the skin on the side of my neck.
The terror had overcome me.
As I closed my eyes tightly, I just wanted it to be over.
I just wanted to die.