19: Elise

ALIA was already asleep in her bedroom when Brandon called.
As I put the phone to my ear, I was distracted.
I just had the call from the family, and I could still hear my mother’s frustrated crying after finding out about my beating last night.
Of course, Gian felt obligated to report. It was something he thought my parents had a right to know, and he would do the right thing even if it would make him look bad.
*Classic Gian!*
But there it went, and I felt as distraught as my mother, sister, and my stepfather were when I assured them all that what they could see on the video call wasn’t as painful as it looked.
I was grateful… well, it wasn’t a deadly sickness, that Anna had the flu and she acted nauseous (maybe she was indeed that after the shock of seeing my black eye?) so they had to terminate the call earlier. I also told them my meds had made me sleepy and that I needed to rest.
But Anna’s sickness meant my mother would not catch the first ferry ride from the nearest port to get to me.

**Me: Sorry, Anna. Play sicker. I can’t have Inay here until I have most of the bruises healed.**

Anna replied right away.

**A: I am sick and I think I just got sicker after that call.
E: Sorrryyy!
A: I’m going to kill that woman, Ate. How could she do such a thing right under the Verrazzanos’ noses?**

I was still on a chat with Anna when Brandon’s call came. I was humoring her by sending her some pictures of my bruises because my sister and I talked this way, so she could fuss over me (at least in the chat) because I liked that, while we both snorted at how colorful our mother’s curses were.
She’d been recording and sending me clips.
I accepted the call with a bit of a frown on my face. I felt distracted from my enjoyable chat with my half-sister and I couldn’t excuse it away.
“Honey! Baby! I miss you! How’s my beautiful girlfriend?”
I listened to his voice and I… grimaced.
I couldn’t believe he still didn’t know about last night.
Something like it would have reached his mother’s ears right away. There was enough noise and banging that even the staff in the kitchen knew something bad was going on.
Some of the guests had a glimpse of me when Gian carried me to his car.
I also couldn’t find myself believing he really did miss me.
In the chance that he really did, I felt numb. It didn’t move me.
Unlike before.
Yes… I couldn’t feel any spark anymore. Not when I heard his voice calling me ‘baby.’ I realized, after the first two seconds, that I didn’t even know what to say back to him.
In fact, I didn’t feel like responding. I already felt irritated that his call came between my bonding with my half-sister.
At the rate I was feeling at that moment, I should break up with him now.
The only thing that stopped me was the belief that doing it on the phone was… tactless.
*Excuses, excuses,* my inner voice mocked me. *Are you in your forties? Are you trying to catch up with the calendar? Even if you want to break up with him, because he isn’t always around to even break up with, you’ll still wait until you’re face-to-face. Do you believe there’s a forever in breaking up, too?*
The inner voice caught Alia’s voice down to the sarcastic tone.
“I didn’t know you were home,” I finally replied.
“We flew back in very late. I had to wait for the morning to call you. I know it was either you were still at the party or had gone home and probably resting. I’m sorry, sweetie. You know I can’t control that. So, how was the party? Did you enjoy yourself?”
Again, I couldn’t think of what to say.
So, he’d been here since last night and he didn’t even bother to call me or send me a message?
And that was last night when he was supposed to be with her at that party.
“What time did you arrive last night?” I asked. I had to make an effort to control the shaking in my voice.
“I think… about ten? Ten thirty?”
I was staring at the wall across me from the bed. My anger was alarmingly getting hard to control.
He had time to get to at least half of the party. Gian and I arrived at about eight p.m. last night. And the beating was about nine-thirty.
And I was at the hospital, and he could at least have sent me a message that he was in Manila. And I could have been with my boyfriend in the hospital. He could have been the one taking care of me last night!
It wasn’t like I had wanted him to take care of me. But it felt like, for the whole time since he became my boyfriend, we could at least have been at that level of connection.
I should be missing my boyfriend and not grateful for another man’s attention last night. Brandon should have been the one making me ginger honey tea!
I gulped in frustration, then I realized he hadn’t even noticed that I didn’t greet him back with ‘I missed you, too, mahal’ (love) or demanded why he didn’t call me sooner.
And his apology sounded like an afterthought. It wasn’t convincing to me at all.
Should I tell him about last night?
I thought I should. It should be in some romantic relationship clause somewhere, even if the feeling that I should break up with him instead was stronger.
But Brandon was going through his own story and he was so focused on it that he didn’t even notice my lack of reaction.
“Actually, we didn’t even follow our itinerary,” he said in an irritated tone. “It was like Dad was making things up as we go. We flew from Hongkong to Cebu the other day and last night was the only time we were able to book the flight back here. I wanted to call you but there just wasn’t enough time to have a decent conversation. I miss you so much. Can we spend time with each other today?”
Why did it all sound so… overkill? Like he was trying too hard? Like he knew he was in trouble? Like he knew he was in trouble already.
Maybe I was the one overreacting. I took a deep breath. “Okay. But I have something to tell you—”
“You don’t understand. We’re leaving again after lunch, sweetie.” And again, a heavy apology in his tone. “Mommy wanted me to go with her to Baguio for a late sortie there for Valentine’s Day.”
I froze.
Then… *ahhh. Not ‘done something wrong.’*
More like he was about to do it again!
“Are you saying you’ll be gone again? And on our first Valentine’s Day as a couple?” I asked patiently.
I wasn’t angry anymore. At this point, I was exhausted.
At this point, I was just itching to finish the call—and any other calls from him.
“I know, love,” he said, slowly, guiltily. “But they wanted me to meet these people who are going to be new partners in a new business collaboration. This could be the first business Dad would let me handle. You know I’ve been waiting for this break for a long time.” He took a long, drawn-out, sigh. “If you only know how much I wanted to be with you. I have plans for Valentine’s Day. But you also know how important this is for me. I have to be there. I need to do my own thing so I can be free and will have more time for my own personal plans with you.”
I didn’t know what to say for the next few moments. I was thinking of Alia and how devastated she was when Macoy just assumed she would go along with his plans and wait for him to get done.
I was struggling to say something rational without screaming his head off.
“Elise? Please say something. This is for us, too. This is for our future.”
*I hadn’t known we’ll have a future together, but I was ready to work for it with you. I wanted a boyfriend. I wanted to be in love together. I don’t want this that you’ve given me, and apparently planned to keep on giving me.*
And sadness suddenly overwhelmed me.
I couldn’t even lie to myself anymore. I couldn’t make up new excuses.
I knew the truth even if he sugarcoated them.
And I was done letting him do that.
What he’d said would have sounded romantic in the beginning. I would have supported him completely even if I didn’t subscribe to the same, knowing I didn’t need his money to have a future. I would have supported him wholeheartedly.
But the truth that I observed was he never had the guts to say no to his parents.
Period.
I couldn’t even give him that illusion anymore.