13: Elise

GIAN was right.
He was here with me, doing his best to take care of me.
I didn’t know what I would have done tonight if he wasn’t here. I would still be in the hospital, drugged and asleep, possibly having a nightmare, because they wouldn’t have let me out.
Granted that it was his Ex’d who did this to me, but I was sure that if I had been hurt another way, he would still be here taking care of me.
Even if I tried his patience to the point that I remind him of taboo topics, he still would not leave me alone to fend for myself.
The first sob escaped my lips.
We were almost on the second floor, and he was grumbling about stupid non-existent elevators and stubbornly living in old-fashioned apartments when I could live in a condo tower nearer work that had a freaking elevator.
He paused when he heard me. He moved a shoulder so it would push my face out and he could see me. And the more I turned my face towards his chest to hide, the more he stretched his shoulder to check my face.
“Elise...”
I swallowed the next sob. “I’m fa-fine.”
He sighed. “Did you think I didn’t know you were still in shock? I’m sorry, I got angry on our way here. But I lost it when I saw you close your eyes, especially after we just talked about… her.”
There was a catch in his voice. It was still difficult for him to say her name.
I didn’t say anything, and he continued to climb the remaining steps. We reached my door and I quietly surrendered my keys to him. I knew if I opened my mouth, it would be stupid sobs that would escape.
But even when he pushed the door open and he was stepping into the apartment, the tears were flooding my face. He found the switch and the lights turned on, and then he was sitting on my couch, holding me close as he sat me on his lap and he rubbed my back.
I started to sob in his arms like a little kid lost, bullied in school, who was swimming in self-pity. But I couldn’t stop myself.
Those stupid meds!
“Talk to me. Tell me what you really feel,” I heard him say.
It was like a hand that unlocked the gate to the flood of my unspoken feelings. I… broke.
“She hit me with a… a bottle as if… as if I was a stray dog in the streets,” I complained to him as I sobbed. “She didn’t… even really… know me but she c-claimed that I-I… am a boyfriend… snatcher! Whhyy?! She didn’t even… gi-give me… a cha-chance to… explain! Like I wasn’t worth-thy of any…anything! Like I wasn’t a hu-human being! Why are cru-cruel people… everywhere?!”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”
“She tore up my de-dress! Why did she… have to tear up my de-dress?” And then I suddenly remembered that he came upon me with my breasts exposed. “G-Gian…?!”
Again, he wasn’t a fool. He comprehended right away what I recalled about the attack just by the tone of my voice and the look on my face. “Don’t worry. I’ve seen plenty of naked women,” he quickly amended.
*Blip! Wrong again!*
“I know you’ve seen a lot of ti-titties and of all si-sizes and maybe of all shapes—I don’t know! But is that even the p-point?!” I shrieked.
“I know! Elise...” He got more agitated. “Tell me what to do. I didn’t mean to see them!”
“She ripped my dress!” I cried. “She wanted me stripped like I have no dignity! She wanted to shame me like I was fake, and… and I was dirty even when I didn’t do anything wrong!” And she was successful. I was shamed right in front of Gian himself!
His arms tightened around me. “Shhh... we’ll buy you another dress, okay?”
“It’s not about the *fucking* dress!”
And as soon as that, we both were just quiet, so quiet it was deafening.
I realized I had been screaming the whole time. I stared at him, shocked.
Then I snorted and hiccupped, and I realized I was sweating from crying. And the cloth on the spot of his chest was darkened by the wetness caused by my tears.
And I also cussed.
Out loud.
Right at his face.
*Fuck. I mean, wow…*
I looked down again at the wet spot on his shirt. “S-Sorry,” I whispered now. Then the hiccup came back, but the worse moment had passed.
His hand moved and resumed its rubbing of my back, and then his other hand left my side to push away the wet strands that were sticking to the side of my face due to tears and sweat.
“I know it wasn’t about the dress, okay?” he acknowledged softly, almost tenderly.
I nodded timidly. “I honestly don’t blame you… for what that *bruja* did to me-me…” I said. “Nor do I thi-think you see me… dirty now bec-because—”
“I didn’t. I would never. Elise... I promise that you will never be naked like that again. Okay? I’ll never let it happen again.”
Fresh, new tears fell down my face. But I was calmer this time.
I also felt so sad.
“You can’t protect me from everything. I know that even if I knew you will still try. I’m just so grateful you’re on my s-side, Gi-Gian. I really appreciate that, if you don’t know yet. I do…”
“I will always be on your side—always. Please don’t cry anymore… this isn’t good for you. It’s like you’re forcing me to drive you back to the hospital. Is that what you want?”
I laid my head on his chest, wondering how I fit so well with him now when he was so tall, and I was small.
I did feel calmer now. The hospital scare was effective. I didn’t want to go back there at all.
“No.”
But I was still crying, just quiet tears now, the kind that cleansed away ill feeling in my chest and washed off the shame I felt for letting myself get beaten up without a fight.
After all I had been through due to my mother’s envious relatives, I thought I would know what to do.
I was wrong.
I had never met anyone like Shiela. I hoped I never meet someone like her again.
The bad news was, after what happened this night, I couldn’t ever be sure of this anymore.
Gian had me in his arms as I cried away all the remaining tears in me. And even when I was spent, I remained in his embrace until I felt like I could be strong enough to push away.
And still I waited, for good measure.
“I think you can let me go now.” I wriggled in his arms so I could slide to his side.
“You sure?”
“Yes. I’m okay. I’ve vented. Thank you,” I told him politely as I felt myself withdrawing emotionally from him. I worriedly looked at the wet patch on his shirt. “Gian, your shirt.”
He didn’t even look at it as he stood up, unraveling his body sleekly like a cat, which was unfair because I felt sore all over. “Don’t worry about it. Let me get something for you from the kitchen. Water? Tea? You still have that ginger honey tea I bought for you last week?”
“In the kitchen.”
“I’ll fix you a mug. Stay here and don’t move. And don’t close your eyes.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “Yes, boss.”
I grimaced while I watched him go.
I could feel it, we’re suddenly self-conscious. We had never been this… share-ish before.
On the other hand, I did not want to get beaten up every time to get hugged and taken care of like that, even if I missed it already, because *who in their sane mind wouldn’t?!*
I ached more now, I couldn’t even shake my head.
I shouldn’t get this spoiled. No. He’d been incredibly great until the awkward moment, and then he couldn’t wait to get away.
*Ginger honey tea? My ass…ertive.*
There was a knock on the door.
“Come in!” I called out as I wiped the remaining wetness off my face then I took the large throw pillow from my other side to hug.
The door was pushed from the outside and Mang Karding entered, followed by Jason.
*Shucks. More of the cavalry.*
Jase was holding a canister of Epsom salt. As soon as Mang Karding saw me again, he fidgeted and his elderly face looked like he was going to cry again, poor thing. I did see him shed a few tears on the side when he saw how bad it was when Gian carried me out of the house in the back.
Then he gallantly pushed on, with jaw clenched, and showed me the big, insulated bag he had brought in, and it had food containers piled up inside.
“This was sent by Madam and Yaya, Ms. Elise,” he said. “Everything you liked from the kitchens. They wanted me to tell you they’re praying you to recover right away.”
“Thank you, Mang Karding. Alia and I will be able to save on our food budget for the whole week!” I told him in a sweet voice.
He smiled but he still didn’t look happy. He looked on edge, like he was also angry. He really disliked what happened tonight.
I was so touched.
Again, why was I whining?
I should be thankful that so many people loved and protected me. I feel more ashamed now for being such an ungrateful fool.
Gian peeked in and looked relieved that the others were there. He was holding the jar of ginger honey tea.
I smiled at myself. I was thinking that I would never want to change our relationship for any other kind, that I really liked it exactly as it was.
I couldn’t fall for him.
I couldn’t be distracted from my goal as my father’s heiress.
It was my first promise to myself, remember?
When I decided to apprentice, I was convinced I would not fall in love with Gian even though he was too charismatic, in all aspects. There were so many women who would give anything to have him.
I still could get dazed over his physical beauty, but that’s just a fact I had accepted, as well as that he wouldn’t fall for someone like me. I wasn’t delusional nor a fool.
And that was fine.
That was why I had a boyfriend who was very different from him, remember?
A boyfriend I was going to get rid of soon. But with or without, it never affected anything between me and Gian. Not one bit.
And that validated the truth that nothing had to change.
Even though tonight, I fell in love a little more with him.