11: Elise (ii)

“Sorry, Jase,” I was telling him now before he said something to the effect of how he wasn’t with me to defend me. “I know you feel bad, but this isn’t your fault, too.”
He opened his mouth then closed it again and threw a look at Gian’s scowling face. The exchange of looks was full of meaning. It was like they were blaming each other, but also claiming blame at the same time? 
I did say they have their own bullshit, did I not? Both felt responsible for what happened to me even when they couldn’t have done anything about it. Both alphas.
*Stupid alphas.*
I got irritated. “You two make me crazy. It was the bitch that did this, okay? Or is it because she’s hot that you don’t want to make her accountable? Is being crazy enough an excuse? Is that it? Gaaahh! Men! Can I just get to my apartment?” Of course, my rant only made my headache worse. And of course, more of those exchange looks that told each other I was getting worse. I clenched my teeth because I just couldn’t manage another rant.
“Mang Karding will come here after he’s driven my mom home, Jase,” Gian told Jason. “But I might sleep on the sofa. I promised to watch for her myself in exchange for her not being confined.”
“What? Wait—”
“I’ll take care of Mang Karding,” Jason was saying, as if I hadn’t made a noise. “What else can I do?”
“Wait, you two—”
“Will you relax? It’s hard carrying a stiff body,” Gian complained.
“I said I could walk.”
“Be quiet,” he ordered in a growl.
I did, with my lower lip jutting out. The two idiots finished instructions about this and that and, finally, Gian carried me to the stairs.  
While he was climbing up, I was thinking—what was the use of him diligently going to the gym if I couldn’t use his muscles for something like this, anyway? And why was I being difficult? Why did my chest feel so tight? Why—
The moment I laid my head on his broad chest, I felt ridiculously stupid for protesting too much. He tried hard to take care of me. Why was I whining? How could I? I felt a flush climbing up my face to gather in my eyes. I felt the wetness that started to spill out from under my eyelids.
I remembered the party and Charis’s hatred again, and how I still couldn’t believe I was beaten up by someone I hadn’t laid not even a finger on. I thought about my family. If they were here, my mother would beat that crazy woman up and that family would get besieged by the force of anger of mine. I didn’t even want to think about what my stepfather would think to do.
My parents didn’t care about wealth. But if they did, they had the backing of both the Verrazzanos and the Von Schillers. And everyone would know who I was. Noone would think to beat me up again.
But my family wasn’t here with me. And I really didn’t want to be exposed yet. That wasn’t the plan, and I’d hate to disrupt the plan .
But I wasn’t really alone, was I?
Gian was right. He was here with me, doing his best to take care of me. I didn’t know what I would have done tonight if he wasn’t. I would still be in the hospital, drugged and asleep, possibly having a nightmare, because they wouldn’t have let me out. Granted that it was his Ex’d who did this to me, but I was sure that if I had been hurt another way, he would still be taking care of me. Even if I tried his patience to the point that I remind him of taboo topics, he still would not leave me alone to fend for myself.
The first sob escaped my lips.
We were almost on the second floor, and he was grumbling about stupid non-existent elevators and stubbornly living in old-fashioned apartments when I could live in a condo tower nearer work that had freaking elevators. He paused when he heard me. He moved a shoulder so it would push my face out and he could see me. And the more I turned my face towards his chest to hide, the more he stretched his shoulder to check my face.
“Elise...”
I swallowed the next sob. “I’m fa-fine.”
He sighed. “You’re still in shock. I’m sorry, I lost it when I saw you close your eyes especially after we just talked about… her.” There was a catch in his voice. It was still difficult for him to say her name.
I didn’t say anything, and he continued to climb the remaining steps. We reached my door and I quietly surrendered my keys to him. I knew if I opened my mouth, it would be stupid sobs that would escape again.
But even when he pushed the door open and he was stepping into the apartment, tears were starting to flood my face. He found the switch and the lights turned on, and then he was sitting on my couch, holding me close as he sat me on his lap and he rubbed my back. I was sobbing in his arms like a little kid lost, bullied in school, swimming in self-pity. But I couldn’t stop myself.
Those stupid meds!
“Talk to me. Tell me what you really feel,” I heard him say.
It was like a hand that unlocked the gate to the flood of my unspoken feelings. I… broke.