Chapter 46

Ailee

I spent the night in Lug’s arms just where I wanted to be. Although I would have preferred to be at home instead of in the hospital. But right now I have no control over my body. It has just given up. Not to mention my grandda wouldn’t allow me to go home right now. You are probably wondering why he is in control of what I do since I’m an adult. When I first got sick I gave my grandda power of attorney over my medical decisions if I got in this state and could make choices for myself. When I’m like this I don’t trust myself to think straight and make the right choices. I made my wishes known to him and our lawyer so they wouldn’t go overboard in trying to save me if there was no hope. I don’t want to be kept on life support just to prolong the inevitable. But from what I have gathered my end isn’t happening as soon as I thought. I have been in and out of consciousness but I have heard most of what is going on. I know Ace is going to do the transplant and now I have hope for a long life. I heard Ace’s apology. I forgave him because what is the point in holding a grudge? I’m not saying I fully trust him. But he is saving me. Although most father’s would do that without blinking an eye. At least I know my grandda would and he was a good father to my mother and excellent to me.I figure the least I can do is give him a chance. The worst that could happen is he lets me down again. I won’t be at a loss if he does.

I’m also not going to hero worship him either. Why would I? For be a decent human being? I don’t think so. He is going to have to go to great lengths to earn my trust and love. I will not give it freely. I will admit it did feel good to have him tell me he loved me. I have longed to hear those words all my life. I have heard them from others and I’m grateful but hearing from my da. It was important to me. Then there were my frequent visitors. I wasn’t awake for most of them but that didn’t stop the flow of people coming in. First it was Lilly and Tank. They talked to me for a minute telling me they would be rooting for me to have a speedy recovery and they would see me soon. They didn’t care that I didn’t respond. Even encouraged me to rest. Next was Viper. He held my hand and kissed my forehead. I heard him whisper in my ear. “ I don’t want you to answer me but I know you can hear me. I know you are a fighter. I have seen your strength and I want you to use it now. Borrow from us if you need to. Lug, Ace, me any of the brothers will loan you as much as you need. Just fight. Fight to stay with us. Fight for a future with Lug. Fight to see your little cousins again. Come back to your family. We will be waiting for you.”

He said he didn’t want me to answer but I squeezed his hand to let him know I heard him. The rest of the evening went the same way with a flood of people. The outpouring of love and well wishes from my new family was nothing short of astonishing. I swear I could heal just from that. I had already planned on fighting with everything I had but now I’m even more determined. I want to see all the kids grow up. I want to see what path their lives take. Even if Ace isn’t part of my life I want to be part of that family as well as mine. They bring my life so much joy. With all the visitors I expected Lug to leave my side even just for a little while. But no, he never did. The only time he let go of me is when Anna had brought him some food saying he needed to keep his strength up if he was going to be there for me.

I love how they are trying to take care of both of us even though there isn’t much they can do for me at this point. It is all in the hands of Ace, my doctors and me. Or my body really. After everyone finally left it was just Finn, Lug and me for the night. I was curled up against Lug’s chest the best I could with his arms wrapped around me like he was afraid to let go. I know he is scared but he won’t say it out loud. He is trying to be strong for me. I am happy that he has a family to support him to be strong for him when he needs it.

The next morning
I was woken up by Lug moving out from underneath me. “ It is time to move Ailee to radiation.” I heard Dr. Graves say. Hell, I have been dreading this. I’m going to get very high doses of radiation to kill off any of my existing diseased marrow so it can be replaced with Ace’s healthy marrow. It will also help my body to not reject the new one. “ The nurses are going to move Ailee to the gurney then we will take her down. She will be there for about an hour if you want to take some time for yourselves.” Graves says. “ Can we go down with her?” Finn asks. “ Yes, you can go down but for obvious reasons you can’t be in the room.” Graves told them. “ Have the nurses deal with the wire and tubes. I’ll get Ailee on the gurney.” Lug says. I don’t know what happened but I heard grannda say “ Let him do it Graves.” The next thing I know I feel Lug’s arms go under me and I’m pressed against his chest. I feel my IV line being moved a bit telling me they are gathering them for me to be moved.

I open my eyes and look up at Lug. He smiles down at me “ You are going to be ok, honey. I’m going to go down with you.” he said. “ I know.” I whisper. He carries me over to the gurney and very carefully lays me down. He never takes his eyes from mine as the nurses get my machines organized. Lug finally steps back and grabs my hand just before we begin moving. As I’m being pushed down the hall I see it lined with our men. All have their fist over their hearts and their heads bow as we pass. With all my strength I fist my hand and place it over my heart in return. These men have never wavering loyalty to me and grandda. For them to be here waiting means a lot and tell me just how close of a family we are. I have been doubly blessed and I am not going to let them down. I’m fighting for not only myself and Lug but for each person who has stood beside me and Lug.

When we get down to radiology it is time for us to part. Dr. Graves gives us a minute before I go in. Finn comes up first. He kisses my forehead and whispers “ You can do this, princess.” Granada comes next. “ I’ll be waiting.” Then my love, Lug. “ See you soon,” he says. I remove my mask “ I love you, Travis.” I said. Lug gives me a quick kiss on the lips before placing the mask back on my face. “ I love you, too.” he says. With that I’m wheeled into the room and placed on the table. This is the beginning of a rough road but then it will be worth it.