~ Chapter Fourteen ~

I lay on one side of the bed away from Dimitri for the second night in a row and stared through the window at the sky. Stars twinkled, clouds shifted, and an airplane flew by, flashing lights at me. I held the blankets close to my chest as I kept my back to Dimitri, unable to face him after what had happened. Since we'd arrived at his pack, we hadn't gotten off to a very good start. He expected things from me that I wasn't willing to accept, and I expected a mate, which of course he was unable to provide - as an alpha. After seeing Roger's dreadful mateship with Gina, and now experiencing my own awful mateship with Dima, I was starting to think that Alpha's really were incapable of mating. Although, Roger was insane, so perhaps it was just my mate who was unmateable.

I thought about when he had been imprisoned, when we had talked and talked; it had seemed so promising then, even if I thought it couldn't go anywhere. And now, when I knew that it *could*, I was suffering from the cold shoulder. Or, from an egotistical alpha who couldn't comprehend the fact that not everyone was under his control.

Making Dimitri believe anything else was going to be difficult and something I wasn't up for right then. I left him sleeping in bed, his back turned to me, his broad shoulders rising with his heavy breaths. The Emporer's Palace was fairly quiet during the nighttime, since Dima had everybody up for training I wasn't invited to early every morning. It was nice to head into an empty kitchen, but as I searched the fridge for something to eat, I found myself thinking about Nola.

Was she okay? Alive? Did she hate me for abandoning her? I liked to think that she would understand, but maybe that was just too unreasonable. I'd left her with *Roger*.

"Miss Keller?"

I almost screamed as I spun around to the unfamiliar voice. A woman I didn't know stood in the doorway dressed in gym shorts and a sports bra, a loose t-shirt hanging from her waistband. She sent me a soft, apologetic smile, softening her hardened features. She looked nothing like the rest of the warriors I had seen so far; she was short and muscular, with biceps so big I could practically feel the struggle of finding clothes that fit.

"Hi, I'm Maeve, Xanthe's little sister."

"*Little*?" I choked.

She laughed. "I get that a lot."

"I'm sorry." I cleared my throat. "Yeah, hi, I'm Erika Keller... the alpha's mate, I guess." I looked away at the fridge, annoyed that I didn't have another title to use. I didn't want to be *the alpha's mate*, I wanted to be Erika the... something. Luna would work, but with how Dimitri was going, he'd be lucky if he even had a mate, let alone convinced me to let him bite me.

"You're very pretty, you know. I noticed the moment I saw you in the garden a couple days ago."

I smiled. "That's very sweet, Maeve."

She looked around the room as if looking for something, and then at my empty hands as I held open the refrigerator. "Say, why are you down here all by yourself? Do you need something? Is there something wrong?"

"Um, no, I don't need anything."

"So there's something wrong?"

I hesitated. "I don't... know you, and I don't think it would be fair on my mate to complain about him to his own pack members. At least, until I know them myself. You know?"

She nodded, looking unconvinced.

"And besides, it's probably not a big deal."

"Xanthe and I have known the alpha for a long time, Erika. I know how his brain works. If you want to talk about him with someone, we're the best people to turn to. Or Dylan, but Dimitri can't do anything necessarily wrong in his eyes, so you're best looking for the Keggs."

"Well..." I closed the fridge, contemplating whether to spill my guts to Maeve when I'd only met her a minute ago. I decided I needed to talk to *someone*, and Xanthe had seemed quite nice, too. Why not her sister? "Okay."

"Oh! Okay. Um, come, sit, let's talk." Maeve slid onto a stool at the island and motioned me toward the other, her eyes bright with excitement. I wasn't awake enough to be excited, but it felt good to know I could speak my mind for the first time in a little while to someone who wasn't my mate. And I really needed to vent.

I told her briefly about how he had been so sweet in the basement of my old packhouse, how he had treated me like a treasure, and then I explained to her that now we were on his turf, he had completely changed. I understood it was ridiculous to expect no change, but for him to act like I was just another one of his members? It was unnacceptable. I expressed my anger that he wouldn't let me train - because he was 'scared that I would get hurt' - and that he wanted me to become a doctor.

"Why would that bother you? You're qualified and Jess said you were quite good at it."

"I don't want to get into that," I muttered, looking at the countertop. "Point is, *Dimitri* knows why I don't want to be a doctor and he still expects it from me."

"It's kind of rude, but we do need a doctor really badly. With training getting intense again, there are going to be injuries - and what if Roger or someone else comes to attack us unexpectedly? We would need someone who could help."

My eyes flickered closed. "I would help then," I admitted, "but I don't want to be a full-time doctor. It's just... personal. It's a personal thing."

Maeve smiled at me sympathetically. "Don't explain yourself, I understand as much as I can. And - by the way - about Dimitri, you're right that he has no clue how to be a mate. The guy's been pretty much alone for all of his life in that respect; he doesn't know what he's meant to do for you and it's difficult sometimes for him to... consider others. I know that doesn't paint him in a good light."

"I can see all of that, Maeve. That's what I have a problem with."

"You're a straightforward person, I can tell. Have you talked to him about it?"

"A little."

"And?"

I shrugged. "He said he's never had to change for anyone before."

Maeve cringed.

"It wasn't the best response, but I get what he means. I shouldn't expect him to change. In a normal situation, I wouldn't, but I'm also not going to sit back and let him dictate every part of my life just because he's used to it; just because he's an alpha. I'm worth more than that."

We silently stared in opposite directions, thinking; I wondered what would happen to me if I left. I had options. I could reject Dima and take myself to Gina. She was indebted to me, so she would take me in and I could find a new life elsewhere, and perhaps I could find someone who had also rejected their mate. That way, they would understand my troubles, sympathise, and perhaps we could build a bond stronger than anything Dima and I could have now, with him being the way that he was. I liked that idea for a split second: freedom, love... *freedom*.

But then I noticed the figure lurking in the doorway for the first time and wiped all of the fantasies from my mind.

"Hello, Dimitri."

Maeve looked up sharply, her back straight and her eyes wide. Dimitri glanced at her but didn't say anything as he stood there, watching me. I tried not to show the guilt on my face for what I had been thinking about. To know your mate wanted to leave you had to be one of the most hurtful feelings. Perhaps it would persuade him to act more like a mate, but I wasn't going to be that girl.

"Alpha," said Maeve. "I just finished a gym sesh... about half an hour ago. I'm gonna head up and take a shower." She gave me a worried look before she slipped out of the room, past Dimitri and up the stairs. I looked down at my hands shamefully.

"You left me in bed."

My fingers started to restlessly twist one another. "I wasn't sleeping anyway and I wanted to take a walk."

"You don't have to explain yourself." Dimitri walked into the room and over to me. "Will you come back upstairs?"

"Sure."

I started to get down, but he stopped me with a hand to my shoulder.

"What?" I asked, looking reluctantly up at him.

"I only want you to come back to bed with me if you are going to stay with me, Erika. I am not stupid, I know... I know I'm not treating you right and you have no real reason to stay if you could just reject me and move on. So..." He paused, dread creeping into his face. "So, if you are planning to leave, I will take you to a spare bedroom instead."

I clenched my jaw. "Will you let me train?"

"I don't want to."

"Will you let me *watch* training and let Jessica train me?" I bargained.

"That sounds better."

"Will you stop seeing me as another one of your subordinates and act like I am your equal?"

This time, he did not respond.

"Dimitri, if you cannot treat me like a leader alongside yourself, then I cannot be a part of this relationship. I will sleep with you tonight, but if by the morning you decide that you can't do what I've asked, then tomorrow I'll be in the spare room and I'll give Gina Morone a call." I squeezed the hand on my shoulder, then slid off of the stool and headed out of the kitchen. I heard him following me but I didn't look back, as I swept through the house to his room. We lay facing each other this time, but we didn't speak; we hardly looked one another in the eyes.

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