~ Chapter Thirty-Seven ~

"I think we nailed that meeting," I said as I gazed toward the darkening sky above us.

Dimitri squeezed my hand softly, a move that he'd mastered over the last couple of days. "Me too."

I smiled to myself. "I'm not too happy that we can't attack Roger yet, but I think a part of me is pleased. I don't want to attack *anyone* until I'm confident that I'll be able to handle it. All this training is helping, sure, but I don't think I could fight in a war just yet."

"It's against my best interests to disagree with you," Dimitri sighed, "but I do. I think you're... in a dire situation, perhaps, perfectly suited to fighting a battle with other wolves."

I stopped walking, forcing him to do the same. He turned to me as I dropped the empty cup of coffee I'd been drinking into the trash can beside us, and frowned slightly in questioning.

"Dima, you have no idea how glad I am that you said that. It shows you're really trying..." I trailed off, looking down at the concrete beneath my feet. "That means I need to hold up my end of the bargain, too."

Dimitri's rough fingers softly lifted my chin so that he could stare into my eyes with light, beautiful brown ones of his own. I was lost in a second to the depth and emotion in them, something that had developed rather quickly for me. "You've already proven yourself to be a wonderful Luna, Erika. I don't need more proof."

I shook my head. "You wanted to know if I could handle pack matters on my own, if I was fit to take over should you be absent for any reason," I reminded him slowly, as I ran my hands up his forearms. "Give me any duty, I don't care what, and I'll carry it out for you."

His eyes flicked between mine for a moment, thoughtful and torn, before he gently nodded. "Okay. I've been meaning to..."

"To what?" I prompted.

"I don't think I can give you that," he murmured to himself, breaking away from me. My hands dropped down to my sides as I watched him walk away, lost in his own thoughts. The humans around us were totally oblivious, except one girl who looked like she'd only just started high school, who smirked at what she thought had been a rejection.

I quickly followed Dimitri along the street, careful not to say his name or anything too werewolfish. He did not stop for a short while, until he walked past a jewellery store and paused. I did not so much as glance at the shimmering necklaces in the window displays.

"Dima," I whispered to him, reaching for his hand. "Come on, we're handling problems together now."

He looked at me, and his eyes were vacant. "I know."

"So what's bothering you? What can't you "give" me?"

A beat of silence passed between us, then he turned to face me, taking my waist between his large hands. I naturally placed my hands on his chest in response and looked up into his eyes, still searching for the answer he would not give me out loud.

"Okay," he sighed. "You *have* to take what I'm about to say very seriously if I give you this responsibility. It's big and I don't know if I can handle seeing you do it."

My lips pressed together for a moment; I was more than confused but eager to find out what was bothering his mind.

"Tell me," I urged.

His eyes flickered closed and when they opened again, they were vulnerable.

"I've been meaning to visit another pack for a while now," he finished his other thought, "but I'm tied down here to manage things while Jessica trains the warriors. It makes me uneasy to give her too many responsibilities..."

"Dima," I muttered, when he didn't continue.

He blinked out of his trance. "So, I want you to... to visit another pack."

The look on my face must have been comically confused or shocked, or maybe even hysterical, because despite everything, Dimitri broke out of his serious gaze to laugh at me. I found myself dazed as he turned his head the other way, trying to hide his huge grin.

"Sorry," he muttered, "I just didn't expect that response." He gently shifted the hair out of my face, since I'd let my hair down for our innocent walk in the town nearby. I was regretting that now as I began to feel hot, as if I was being burned alive.

After a moment, I realised *he* was what was making me so hot. I took a page out of his book and stepped back from our embrace.

"Dimitri, you could hardly handle letting me out of the palace a few days ago, but now you're okay with me going to *another* pack? Someplace I have never been before, with people you can't protect me from? Did you hit your head - and don't laugh at that, I am very serious?"

Dimitri's amusement shifted into something else, an apprehensive assuredness. "I am very serious, too. But you reacted so quickly, I didn't have a chance to tell you the rules.

"One, you are undoubtedly going with Dylan and Taylor; I trust them both with *my* life, and so I trust them with yours, too. They will never leave your side and they will watch over you every second you are there.

"Two, you're to go to this pack, complete the tasks I give you, and then leave. No pit stops, no making friends; in and out. Otherwise, I don't think my wolf will be able to handle being away from you.

"Finally..."

He trailed off again as he stared at me, and I knew this one would be the one I didn't like.

"Finally, if you ignore me in any capacity, or if something goes wrong while you are there, I won't be letting you off of pack grounds for the foreseeable future." He took my hands in his, warm against the evening breeze floating around us. "It's not really a test, but you can fail."

"So it is a test," I argued.

"Maybe." A tiny smile flashed across his face. "Can you work with those rules, or should I find you something else to do?"

His expression was almost hopeful, but I knew this opportunity was only going to come around once, and no matter how daunting Luna business was, it was something I had to do if I wanted to maintain what was beginning to flourish finally between us. So I nodded for Dimitri, internally panicking at the idea of what I had to do without any training or guidance whatsoever.

And then I remembered something.

"I have to spend at least an entire day with Dylan?"

Dimitri laughed, clearly pleased with the change of subject.

"Are you punishing me for something?" I teased, punching his shoulder.

"No, but I can see why you may think that."

He pulled me closer, enveloping me into his arms, almost crushing my ribcage against his. The moment felt right, so I tilted my head up for a kiss, and he quickly leaned down, taking the offer.

His lips were eager but respectful, telling me everything he felt for me in that moment - respect being one thing, but also something that felt alarmingly like *love*, or the werewolf equivalent. It felt like he was ready to mate.

We'd made an agreement when we talked a few days ago, that both of us would reach a point in which we completely trusted one another before we mated; for him, that was seeing me act as a Luna, proving that I could take over his job and that I should be his equal; for me, that was seeing him act like my mate, like a man I could let mark me and shove children in me - though that was still to be discussed.

It was true that we had both seen something very close to what we both wanted, but I didn't know if I was ready to bear his mark on my neck, or to take that huge step in our relationship. To mark would be to promise for life, and I wasn't done living.

"Dimitri," I murmured against his lips.

He kissed me harder, knowing what I was going to say. I let him, the street around us forgotten, because I didn't want to face the reality, either. But it would come crashing down on us eventually, whether we meddled or not.

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