~ Chapter Thirty-Five ~

I put my phone down for the tenth time. "Gina won't answer my calls, Dima. I'm really worried about her."

Dimitri looked up from his laptop as he sat on his bed, one leg tucked under the other. "Was there any sign of threat while you were there?"

I shook my head.

"Then I don't think you should be too worried. Certainly keep calling her, perhaps just not right now." He moved his laptop to the side, leaving open the space of his lap. I thought about sitting there but decided I'd be better thinking coherently, and sat next to him instead. His arm came around my shoulders intimately, and I leaned against him for comfort.

"Erika, you know, if this is too much for you..."

I looked up at him with narrowed eyes. "Do not try that on me right now. It is not too much. I'm allowed to stress without being overwhelmed."

"Right." He glanced to the side. "Jessica brought me some other news the other day, too, that I think you should know. The warriors we sent toward Roger's new pack have returned and they're waiting to talk to me. I'm going to do it completely alone."

I frowned. "You won't let me join you?"

"No. I'm not letting Jessica join me, either."

"Jessica is your beta, not your mate."

"Erika, please, there are some things I like to do alone as an alpha. I know you want to step up to your new position, but allow me to keep some of my traditions?" Dimitri's voice was snappy and firm, and ignited something inside of me that I tried desperately to push down. I didn't need a fight, not with Nola, and my pack, and Gina missing. But I needed to release some stress.

"I'm going to work out," I grumbled, as I tugged out of Dimitri's arm. I felt him watching me walk away, out the room in my pair of sweatpants and a loose shirt. I started to tug back my impossible hair, but had given up by the time I reached the gym. Maeve sat on one of the machines on-break, bent forward on her knees. She looked up at me with a polite smile.

"Hello, Keller."

"Hi, Maeve." I sounded defeated.

She stood up. "Wanna use this?"

"What'll make me release the most energy?"

"Uh, probably the punching bag, but I'd be careful. Alpha Stone knocked it out of the ceiling one time while you were gone."

My eyes flicked up to Maeve's face, but she was purposely avoiding my gaze. I noticed that most of the pack avoided my gaze when they mentioned the time I had left after rejecting Dimitri, especially if they hadn't meant to bring it up. The whole pack felt weird about me; whether they liked me or not was a mystery. I wished I could interrogate them for answers, but I didn't want to face the truth that they would never forget I had tried to abandon them all once, regardless of my personal issues.

I got to work, pretending Maeve wasn't even in the room with me. As I punched and blocked, I heard the chain creaking in the ceiling, threatening to fall down. But I didn't stop. With every blow, another argument slipped my mind, clearing me from the threat of a feud with my mate. I wasn't in the right state of mind for that right now; I needed my focus. Becoming a Luna would be the most difficult thing for me, since I had so little experience with the outside world. Though, I was determined to make it work, to be someone these wolves deserved.

When I hit the punching bag too hard, almost sending it into Jessica and Taylor - both of which had joined at some point during my workout - I finally felt the last of my anger flee, and at the perfect moment. The door opened to reveal Dimitri in a surprising set of jeans and a t-shirt, taking me completely off-guard. My hand shot out to stop the punching bag from recoiling into my face, as I stared at my mate's body through the shirt.

He didn't take a look at the room before he spoke, but he also didn't stay to see the reaction of some of his pack members. "Go shower and change, we're going on a date."

I blinked, surprised, and Jessica exhaled in amusement two machines over. The door was already shut.

"Don't you want to go on a date, Keller?" asked Taylor as he carefully placed down a heavy bar.

"I'm just... we're sort of in the middle of an argument," I murmured. "I didn't expect that."

"Well, go," Maeve encouraged.

I didn't think, I just started walking.


/////


My date attire was as simple as before, but I didn't let my hair flow. The curly mess had caused me twenty minutes worth of problems, causing me to give up almost entirely on the afternoon date I'd been asked to. I barely had the energy to stand.

Dimitri met me at the door to his room and led me down the stairs then out of the house, past those who'd previously been in the gym now in the kitchen. His hand was wrapped around mine tightly, so I wasn't able to pull it away for the sake of Jess, Taylor and Maeve - and, I realised, Xanthe and Dylan, too. Every set of eyes met mine in quick succession, before Dimitri and I were on the front porch. We continued toward an incline, which led us behind a small mountain to a cute pond and flower bed; our little getaway spot.

"This," Dima said, "is now where we go when we aren't getting along." He sat us both down close to the pond, holding both of my hands as we sat opposite each other. "I'm hoping it'll remind us that there are some things we have in common."

"It's a beautiful spot," I agreed.

"We don't talk about alpha or luna stuff out here, can we agree on that?"

"Sure." I adjusted my hands so that it felt like I was holding his, rather than the other way around. "But if we don't *talk* about alpha and luna stuff, then you can't act like an alpha, either. Which means" - I moved closer to him - "that I'm in charge around here."

His eyes flickered down to my lips. "I am embarrassingly fine with that."

I smirked and pushed forward, kissing him, pleasing my wolf and shutting up the urges that ran through my body. Holding myself up by resting my hands on the grass either side of him, I started to lift my leg over his, trapping him beneath me. He leaned back along with me, so that he was half-reclined, his hand caressing the side of my face.

It felt right like it was supposed to, but it also felt wrong. Kissing him was in my nature as his mate, it was something I was supposed to love and look forward to always, but I couldn't stop the nagging feeling in the back of my head that this wasn't what we should be doing. No position would change that, no amount of physical contact or ignorance. We couldn't sort our issues out this way, even on just a temporary basis.

When I pulled back, I expected to explain that I couldn't be close to him when it felt like we weren't on the same page, but I caught Dimitri's hesitant eyes and suddenly it became clear that we *were* on the same page: this wasn't working.

"Just once," I whispered, "we can't ignore everything while we're here, can we?"

He smiled sadly. "No. One talk. We need one good talk, to iron everything out. And then" - his hands cupped my face - "maybe this'll be easier than ever."

"I fucking hope so," I sighed.

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