Chapter 51

**Angela’s POV**

I had no idea when I fell asleep, but at least the exhaustion was gone. I opened my eyes to blackness and after a few seconds, my pupils adjusted. I tried to get up but it was only then I realized that Brad’s arm was holding me securely against him. I looked at his profile in the darkness and tried to breathe. He was so beautiful. I raised a hand and brushed the hair that had fallen over his eyes. He stirred slightly and held me tighter.

I sighed and hoped that this would only be better with time. Suddenly uneasiness gripped me and I struggled out of Brad’s embrace. I walked out of the room. The need to check on Harvey became more insistent.

I pushed open his door and my fear was realized. He was tossing on the bed, his hair sticking to his skin. I walked over to the bed and sat on the edge of it. I placed my hands on his shoulders and shook forcefully enough that he would awake, breaking him out of his night terror.

His eyes forced open, the remnants of the dream still gripping him, his eyes still dilated. I rubbed the palm of my hands on his back and whispered soothingly.

“It’s okay, it was just a dream.” He became calm and his breathing soon lowered to a more normal pace. He sat up in bed and I brushed the sweat soaked hair out of his face. I slowly got up and opened a window, allowing the fingers of the breeze to cool his heated flesh.

When I turned back Brad was entering the room. His eyes locked with mine and he walked over to the bed and sat at its edge. He whispered to Harvey, words I couldn’t hear but I was sure he was encouraging. I sat at Brad’s side.

“I am sorry I keep having these nightmares and interrupting you.” Harvey apologized and before I could rebuke him Brad spoke up.

“You have nothing to feel sorry about.” His voice was so careful that all I could do was stare open mouthed in astonishment.

“I wish they would just stop! I feel so alone.” Harvey buried his face in his palms. Brad pulled his hands down and made Harvey look at him.

“I wish I could tell you it gets better, that it stops but I can’t. Besides, you’re not alone.” He pronounced every word perfectly and I sensed there was a deeper meaning.

He looked at me and smiled painfully, he took my hand in his and squeezed.

“I suffer from night terrors too.” He turned his gaze to Harvey who seemed astonished. I knew this, but why was the question.

“Why?” Harvey asked the question that was burning at the back of my mind.

“You are not the only one who had a good for nothing father.” He confessed and I stilled. When I was taken in by Brad’s mother I always assumed Mr. Regal was deceased. But thinking about it meshed thoughts into place. It would explain why he was never mentioned, not even a picture or remembrance of his existence found homage there.

“I am not?” Harvey seemed relieved to hear that he was not the only one to face this.

“No. He was a drunk and he would beat my mother and I to pulps almost every night. He would sometimes lock her up in her room all day, no food or water. I would be locked out of the house while he...” His voice cracked and trailed off. I squeezed his hands tighter.

“She would scream and scream. But I couldn’t do anything, I would bang on the door hoping to break its hinges and somehow help her.” He continued and I finally knew why he and Harvey were so similar. Their life experiences molded them in a similar way, it hardened them and gave them that worldly experience that parents try so hard to shield their kids from.

”What happened to him?” Harvey questioned keeping his voice devoid of feeling but I saw the understanding in his eyes.

“I don’t know.” Brad admitted. “He left one day like he always did and he never came back.” He shrugged.

“It’s the reason I don’t visit my mother or call her. I can’t face her, I couldn’t stop it, I couldn’t save her.” He divulged and clarity struck me. He thought he was to blame? He was a kid!

“Brad.” My voice was firm. “You can’t blame yourself. Do you want to make it right for your mother? Call her, visit. Don’t pull away from her for a reason that is baseless. You’re taking from her with this false guilt. If there was ever a time she needed you, it’s now.” I encouraged and I saw him contemplate my words.

“You’re right.” He smiled at both Harvey and me. “What do you say that we visit mom this weekend?” He offered painfully. I knew he still warred on his decision but I was happy he was at least making an attempt.

“That sounds perfect. Maybe you should call and tell her.” I advised and he shook his head.

“Are you ready to go back to sleep now?” I asked Harvey as I saw him stifle a yawn and sank into the pillows. He shook his head and closed his eyes.

Brad and I both placed comforting kisses on Harvey’s head and quietly exited the room.

“I didn’t know about your father. I am sorry.” I consoled after I saw a darkness clouding his features.

He stared at me and shrugged as if it was of no consequence. “You know what he told us after every attack?” He asked conversationally as if he was simply talking about something insignificant.

“What?” My voice was low. I wasn’t sure if he heard it but he replied.

“He would say, ’it’s because I love you’.” His voice hardened and his grip on my hand tightened. He pulled me into his chest and looked into my eyes.

“The only love I know destroys. This is why I can’t give it.” His eyes were pleading with me. I hadn’t the words to say so instead I pressed my lips against his and he gratefully drowned himself in our embrace.

The rest of the week went by in blurs. Brad was hauled up in work and Harvey was occupied with school. Yet I had a decision to make and the only person who can give me the say so was Brad. So I had gone to the office to talk to him.

Once there I saw him at his desk perusing documents. He didn’t seem bothered when I entered his office but then again, he wasn’t expecting me.

“Carmine, I don’t have all day. What do you want?” He growled without looking up from his files.

“I am not your secretary.” I cleared my throat and he instantly looked up, a smile replacing the frown.

“I wasn’t expecting you.” He commented as he rose from his chair and walked over to me.

“I know.” I replied lamely. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and decided that I should get it off my mind before I stopped myself.

“I have something to ask you.” I blurted and I knew I sounded shaky. Brad stopped midway and slowly answered.

“Go on.” He was neutral and that made me think this would be a bad idea.

“I-I” I knotted my fingers and fixed my gaze on them.

“You what?” He sounded harsh. Or was it my imagination?

“I have been...offered my old job as a chemistry teacher and I want to take it.” the words flowed like a river. At least the worst was over, now I had to wait for his decision.

“Why would you want to work?” He questioned and his eyes pierced my very soul. I looked away from him to formulate my reason.

“I need to feel purpose. I love to teach and I am not me without my independence. Don’t make me feel as if I have to depend on you for everything.” I answered.

“You are not dependant on me. We are married, whatever I have it’s yours.” He countered. “You have equal claim.”

“I know I do. But I still want to feel as if I am contributing.” I pleaded. All the arguments I had so carefully formulated had dissipated and this was my only defence.

He stared at me for what seemed like a life time. His features betraying nothing. He sighed.

“If it is what you truly want then...” before he finished I lunged at him and wrapped my arms around his neck.

“Thank you.” I whispered and after he had gotten over the shock at my reaction he circled his arms around me.

The weekend had come and we were finally going to Brad’s mother. He didn’t call her, rather he said he wanted it to be a surprise, so I called and told her I was coming over. Brad was silent and tense on the ride over and every time I tried to initiate conversation he would just smile. Not a genuine one but one that mirrored the inner turmoil he was experiencing.

Once there we rang the doorbell and she opened the door cheerfully. Her smile faltering when she saw Brad, her eyes instantly filling with moisture.

He walked to her and gave her a hug. Her expression was relieved as she closed her eyes and hugged her son.

The sight warmed me intensely. She immediately wiped her tears and piloted us inside. Brad and Harvey walked ahead. My mother in law pulled me aside and hugged me.

“Thank you for bring my son home.” She smiled and I squeezed her hand.

“I didn’t do anything.” I replied and she looked at me disbelievingly.

“I know it was your influence. So thank you dear.” She insisted and I nodded.