Chapter 21

My heart seemed like it was suddenly pounding. I felt like I was about to run a mile. I had no idea what Finn wanted to talk about but he obviously thought it would A.) take a while or B.) make me mad and want to leave so he trapped me here. To be honest, both of those options scared me. What could we possibly have to talk about?





"Do you want to walk?" He asked while reaching for the keys. I nodded because I had no other option. I wouldn't be trapped this close to him if we got in another argument. I hadn't done anything to him so I was confused as to what this could possibly be about.



I got out of the car at the same time as him and we walked to the sidewalk that ran through and around the park. It was mostly grass and trees with a few sporadic picnic tables. There was a playground section on the far side and the street lamps illuminated the path. It wasn't too cold outside, but I perfected the cold to the heat so the chill didn't bother me. Ironic for a California girl. I guess the northeast was still in my blood from childhood.



We walked for a moment before Finn spoke up. Maybe it was my nerves or perhaps it was the silence that surrounded us, but his voice sounded much deeper than usual. "I want to apologize." I was about to tell him to go on, he took such a long pause but he continued on his own. "I shouldn't have snapped at you that day at practice. I was just...distracted. The truth is, you didn't get me in trouble, I do that on my own. I was just frustrated with you. I worked so hard to get noticed by colleges and you waltz in with them falling at your feet." He stopped talking and looked out at the park as we walked, presumably avoiding my eyes.



I let him contemplate in silence. Our shoulders brushed briefly, sending goosebumps down my bare arms where his suit jacket had just touched. His hands were in his pockets and mine were in my dress pockets (fortunately, they had pockets or else I would feel incredibly awkward).



"I wanted to think it was because you were a girl playing with boys but that wasn't it. You were good and it scared me. I was jealous. I guess you could call me a bit of an attention whore." He laughed lightly. I couldn't resist the temptation of chiming in.



"I've been calling you that since day one and you just realized that?"



He turned and looked at me with furrowed brows and a down turned smile. "I'm trying to be serious here." His voice was teasing despite the look on his face. It made the whole thing seem more mocking and I couldn't help but laugh.



"I saw an opening." I raised my hands in defense and hit his my shoulder lightly with my right hand.



"Anyway, I was wrong. They were watching you because you're a good player. I was only an ass because I was trying to intimidate you but I realized that wouldn't work pretty quickly. Truth be told, I may or may not have missed your company, hence the apology."



I turned my head to the side so I could look at him. He sensed the movement and looked back into my eyes with his intense forest green ones. "It's okay. I had preconceived notions about you too. Although you did live up to them when you were being an asshole." I smirked and he snorted out a laugh. "You probably think I'm some crazy bitch, and rightly so, but there's one thing I'm still mad about." I said before facing ahead again. It must have been our second lap around the park. We hadn't done much talking but we had our fair share of long silences.



This was another one of them.



We passed the same tree for the second time around and Finn seemed to realize what I was getting at. "You're still mad that I didn't hit you."



"100 percent."



He exhaled and I practically heard Finn roll his beautiful eyes. "You're a weird one. But I also see where your coming from. Look, I didn't not hit you because you're a woman. I didn't hit you because I actually like you as a person. I'm never going to hit you back just like I'm probably never going to hit Sam or Chris back. Unless they really do something fucked up but that's besides the point." He was looking at me as he said it but I refused to meet his eyes. For some reason I felt so much emotion in his words that I couldn't look him in the eyes. I just couldn't.



Although Finn would force me too.



He stopped walking and his middle and pointer fingers touched under my chin and lifted my face to look at him. His brows were furrowed but I was more focused on the feeling of his warm and slightly calloused hands on my skin. They weren't rough but they were firm from all the stick work he practiced. I would have melted into his touch if my pride let me.



His eyes scanned my face and I felt my breath hitch. I'm not sure what I wanted him to say or if I wanted him to say anything at all. The look in his eyes seemed to tell me everything I needed to know. 'Stop hitting me because I'm never going to hit you, no matter how much you piss me off'. When he finally spoke, his gaze never left mine. "Lets get you home. It's getting late."



We turned and went back to his car. My skin felt cold without his body heat under my chin. My heart was still racing from the touch. I didn't know what was wrong with me. The ride home was silent but it wasn't uncomfortable. It was like the silence we shared that day on the field when he comforted me. I still hated myself for breaking down like that in front of him.



When we arrived at my house he got out and walked me to my door and up the path. I reached into my pocket and my heart dropped for the millionth time tonight. I had forgotten my keys. I walked up my steps and tried to open the door but it was locked. "Fuck." I let out a curse. I knew all my windows were locked. "Hey, Finn? Can you find me a rock?"



He raised an eyebrow and took his hands out of his pockets to cross his arms over his chest. I had to remind myself not to stare at his glorious muscles. "I forgot my keys since I wasn't driving and I need a rock."



"You're not breaking into your house." He said like I was a child. I honestly didn't see a more practical way, but then again, I wasn't exactly known for my common sense. "Your dads getting back tomorrow right?"



"Yeah. Why?" I asked hesitantly. I could easily replace the window I broke.....



"Just stay at my house for the night. Let's not break anything." He suggested like a rational person.



I contemplated my options for a moment before agreeing. I had never been to Finn's house despite the many times he had been to mine. Somehow my house had become the communal team home that everyone was always coming to, to hang out.



Finn's house ended up being a sprawling modern mansion, on the water. It was only about five minutes from my house which surprised me because I never realized we were this close. Finn had told me his father was probably out with a client at some fancy dinner like usual. His father was a corporate lawyer which explained the house and Range Rover.



I suppose the two of us really did live up to some of the lacrosse player stereo types.



I watched as he left the kitchen to go grab me a toothbrush and some clothing. I couldn't help but let my eyes trace his muscles as he walked up the stairs. I think it was the suit that was distracting me. Everyone looks ten thousand times hotter in a suit. I stayed seated at the sleek, white island while scrolling through Snapchat stories from my friends back in California. I missed them all even if it had only been four months since I moved from the Golden State. Brian and I still texted, but my contact with my other friends was slim to none.



When I got sick of watching them party on a friday night through my phone, I closed the app and realized that Finn still hadn't returned. I stood from the island and started to walk out of the kitchen to find him when I walked right into a solid chest that was coming around the corner to enter the kitchen.



Their hands went to my waist and tightened to keep me standing while my own hands gripped the person's large arms tightly. Their skin was warm through the thin fabric of a dress shirt. When my eyes adjusted, I saw it was Finn who had taken off his suit jacket, leaving him in his button down and tie. I was wearing heals with my dress, bringing my 5'6" frame to an easy 5'10". Finn must have been about 6'2" because our faces were almost even.



Now that I think about it, Finn and I weren't the typical lacrosse body types. We both had built muscles from weights as opposed to cardio. He was taller than average while I was shorter (for boys that is).聽 The thought didn't stick in my mind long though, because my eyes were focused on his face.



My blood froze as he stared down at me. We were so close that I could feel his minty breath on my face and feel my breasts brushing his hard chest. I don't know if we were both frozen from shock or just frozen in general, because we stayed in place with our grips tight around each other.



His hands banded almost completely around my small waist. My eyes scanned over his face once more. His high cheekbones and strong jaw were even more predominant in the low light of the house. His forehead was smooth and more flat than rounded. Finn's eyebrows were thick yet shaped and his lashes made me jealous.



Our eyes met and his dominating ones pinned me in place for a moment. I think he must have felt trapped too. For a moment, I thought he was going to kiss me, his face was so close and his eyes so intense, but then we both came to our senses and let go of each other.



I sobered up while Finn scratched the back of his neck. Coming from anyone else it would have seemed awkward but somehow Finn made it work. "There are some clothes and a toothbrush in my bathroom." I nodded and followed him up the stairs after I retrieved my phone from the island counter where I had left it.



Finn's private bathroom was nice. It was larger than mine and made of all white with silver accents. It made me wonder if his father had hired a designer, it looked so professionally done.



I slipped out of my dress and pulled on Finn's long grey T-shirt. I guess it helped that he was almost a foot taller than me because I found no need for the shorts he gave me. After scrubbing away my makeup from the night and brushing my teeth, I joined Finn in his room.



I took a seat on the navy colored comforter and watched as he plugged his phone in and hung up the jacket he had worn to the dinner. Now he was wearing just a pair of low hanging sweatpants. It was actually more clothing than when I was usually around him. He always wore just a pair of lacrosse shorts when we worked out, now he was wearing actual pants.



I slipped out of my dress and pulled on Finn's long grey T-shirt. I guess it helped that he was almost a foot taller than me because I found no need for the shorts he gave me. After scrubbing away my makeup from the night and brushing my teeth, I joined Finn in his room.



It wasn't awkward like I expected it to be after the encounter just a few minutes ago. Instead he suggested we watch a movie on his laptop since it was only 9:30 on a friday night. I agreed and we settled on Red Sparrow.



Finn was right, this was definitely a better plan then breaking my window.