Chapter 34

Sam and Chris were not happy the next day but it was all worth it. Al thought it was the funniest thing since sliced bread so that only boosted our egos even more. I was finally feeling alright after everything that happened in the past two weeks.





That was until I walked into school that Wednesday.



Immediately I felt eyes on me, similarly to how I had felt after our first scrimmage. I ignored it as I walked through the halls to my locker, expecting my friends to be waiting for me as usual.



They weren't. Instead I was faced with an empty looker. My brows furrowed in confusion when as I cautiously glanced around the halls again. People were openly staring at me reluctantly as I walked by. Pushing the paranoia to the back of my mind, I unlocked my locker and gathered my books for my first classes.



I slammed the metal door shut and turned from the lockers to head to Latin. The hallway seemed to part itself for me as people looked on. It was quickly becoming impossible to ignore the feeling of hundreds of eyes on me. People whispered to their friends as I walked by.



"How can she act like nothing happened?"



"I bet she was asking for it."



"She doesn't even look bothered. She probably enjoyed it."



"What a slut."



"Is that why Finn broke up with her?"



Wait?! what?!



My blood was coursing though my veins again. The feeling of the walls closing in around me became stronger as I tried to make it to class. Everything around me felt so close and so heavy. My lungs felt like they were filled with concrete.



What had I done? They couldn't possibly be talking about what I think they were talking about. There's no way. Never in a million years would anyone involved in my rape put that information out there. It wouldn't help anyone.



I had made it to my Latin class when I saw Chris pop out of no where like he was Moses and the crowd was the Red Sea. His phone was held to his ear as he came toward me with drawn eyebrows. His face seemed comforting and warm yet worried compared to my panicked and slightly confused one.



"I found her. Field? Yeah. Bye." He spoke before looking down at me. Chris's arm wrapped around my shoulders to steer me out of the hall as he rushed to get to the point. "Come on. Let's get out of here." Chris's voice was soft spoken like I was a small animal. Never once had I seen him act this way to anyone but Al.



"What's going on?" I asked in a hesitant tone as we pushed our way through the hoards of curious people. My pupils darted back and forth, almost as if I was trying to capture and analyze the look on everyone's face at the same time. Even the dweeby freshmen looked at me with judgmental faces and down turned lips.



When I was pushed outside and into the cold December air I snapped at Chris again. "What the hell is going on? Why are you taking me out of class?" I demanded to know.



His heavy arm stayed on my shoulders as he guided us down the sidewalk to cross the parking lot leading to the turf field. He didn't respond, only giving my shoulder a squeeze. My feet rooted themselves in the pavement and I forced him to stop walking in the middle of the parking lot. "Chris. Tell me what the hell this is all about." It wasn't a question anymore; It was a demand.



He glanced around nervously and shoved his hands in khaki pockets and exhaled. "Can you just come to the field? Al, Sam, and Finn are waiting."



I crossed my arms and shot an incredulous look his way. "Well they're going to be waiting a lot longer if you don't tell me what the fuck is going on and why you're acting all weird."



Chris's bright green eyes danced around again, moving frantically back and forth. They stopped in the corner of his eye and I turned my head to follow his line of sight. Two large figures and one small one crossed part of the parking lot in a semi rush. It was evident by the pained looks on their faces, that my friends were worried about me.



If the down turned lips and creased eyebrows weren't enough, the pitying eyes made it obvious to my dense brain that my suspicions were correct. I didn't want to accept it so I repeated my question wearily while taking a slow step back. I'm not sure why that was my inverse reaction, but it was. My arms were out my sides, almost as if I was ready to punch someone or bolt.



"You don't know?" Al asked gently. My eyes turned to saucers in an instant.



"How?" My low voice squeaked out. "They're minors." The court date had just barely been set thanks to the help of Finn's father who knew some people in high places.



"Apparently some of their friends spread the word of the arrest." Sam said quietly while glancing at the ground. "That's not the worst of it though."



"Well spit it out then!" I demanded in a sudden outburst of annoyance.



My four closest friends shared a knowing glance with each other before Finn spoke up reluctantly. "They're telling people you were asking for it then you..." His strong voice started off well before fading out, with his reluctance taking control.



"That you acted like it wasn't consensual when your 'boyfriend' showed up." Al finished for Finn. Now I could tell why he felt awkward. The idiot was probably blaming himself again. If there was one thing I learned about Finn, it was that he was too caring sometimes. "Some people don't believe it though. They just think you were gang raped before they got caught." Al muttered quietly while my eyes fell to the ground.



I don't want to cry in front of my friends. One person was one thing, four was a whole nother story. I had spent hours trying to convince them I was okay and now it all falls apart. The whole school knows about the most shameful thing of my life. If I felt bad after those pictures, I felt even worse now. Two sex scandals in less that half a year.



Without thinking, my knees gave way and almost slammed into the pavement. I would have had a nasty bruise, had someone not grabbed my arms to lower me gently. My face was too busy being covered in my hands to care who it was. One of the guys, judging by the size of the hands and the strength required to stop me mid fall.



My knees dug into the damp blacktop but I ignored the pain. It was less than what I felt inside. Screw acting strong, I was full on bawling and silently sobbing into my hands. My world was collapsing and there was nothing I could do about it. Everyone would remember me as 'that poor girl' or 'that slut' when we all graduated. Walking down the hallway would be a form of torture in and of itself. The fact that those three idiots were so petty that they had to make my trauma public was despicable.



The person who grabbed me was now crouched down in front of my body. I was practically curled in a ball as I sat on my haunches, my legs digging into the rough ground.



"Guys? Can you give us a minute?" Finn asked softly. His voice was just above my head so I assumed he grabbed me. He was the one across from me after all. They must have listened to him because I heard the sound of retreating footsteps and felt the warmth of their presence disappear.



Finn's own hot skin was pressed against mine as he pulled me into a soothing hug while he rubbed back and forth on my back using his thumb. I buried my face in his chest while wrapping my right arm around his neck. Finn let me cry for a few moments before he dipped his lips to my ear to whisper to me. "It'll be okay. It doesn't matter what people say. After our testimonies and the rape kit, our story will be indisputable. It doesn't matter if everyone knows, it just shows you're stronger."



It might not seem comforting but Finn always said the right thing to me. He had comforted me so many times that it came natural to him by now. "It doesn't matter Finn. Everyone already knows. You should have heard the things they're saying about me. I feel so God damn vulnerable." We both knew I hated feeling so inferior, even if my logic was stupid. I couldn't help how I felt. By now my body was clinging to Finn's for dear life. I didn't have any dignity anymore.



"You're not vulnerable. You're strong and we all know it. A hell of a lot stronger than the rest of us. Let people talk. Who cares? It doesn't change who you are or what your friends think of you and that's all that matters."



And so I sat on the pavement in the middle of the parking lot with Finn holding me until I had no tears left to cry and all our friends had disappeared to their second period classes. I appreciated the sentiment but I'm glad they left. I didn't need to be surrounded by people when I'm in the middle of a mental break down.



Four months ago I never would have thought I'd be having a breakdown in front of my classmates. I usually tried to keep my shit together.



But here I am.



Once I finally got myself under control and looked like I hadn't been crying for the past half hour, I returned to class, much to Finn's dismay. The remainder of the morning I held my head high and ignored the looks around me.



When I arrived at practice I quickly noticed all three of my guy friends had bruised knuckles and Sam had a split lip. My eyes danced around the field where my other teammates sat idly talking to each other. It didn't take a genius to spot the bruises scattered on their hands and a few with small marks on their faces. My eyebrows pulled tighter as I grabbed Finn's shoulder, spinning him around to face me.



"Why the hell do 80% of you have split knuckles and faces?" I demanded an answer. Most of the guys didn't have their gloves on yet so it was obvious they had been in a fight.



Finn wouldn't meet my brown eyes for a moment and instead looked to the others for help. Again, much to his dismay they were all busy in their own conversations. His green orbs finally settled on my eyes. Finn let out an exhale of frustration before answering me. "We got into a fight," he answered plainly.



"With each other?!" I asked suddenly surprised. I didn't think any of them would lay a hand on each other. Other guys was a different story, but their own team mates?



"What? No." The look I gave him demanded more answers so he relented after he realized there was no escape from this. "No. We beat up some guys who were saying shit about you in the locker room. It's no big deal. Really." He tried to assure me but I wasn't very happy to say the least.



"You can't just go around hitting people!" I exclaimed and threw my hands up in frustration. My emotions had been heightened all day.



"That's rich coming from you." Finn retorted but not unkindly. I would have responded but Coach cut in.



"That's a good point, Sylvia. You can't go around just hitting people." Coaches voice was loud and carried across the field. Everyone stopped their conversations and turned to face the short and stubby man. The ones with bruises and cuts wore guilty expressions on their faces. "You are all lucky they didn't suspend this whole damn team! Half the football and basketball team shouldn't be in the nurses office with busted in faces! Next time you want to make a point or defend some one, use your damn words. You all go to school so you all know how to use 'em." He boomed.



Some had the decency to look apologetic but a portion remained stoic with a 'holier than thou' expression plastered on their faces. Finn, Sam, Chris and Jameson where among those. My eyes narrowed at Finn because he was the closest to me but he ignored my heated glare completely.



"Next time one of you gets into a fight, it's suspension."



And as I would later find out from Al, Coach hadn't exaggerated. There was easily fifteen guys walking around with fucked up faces. Turns out, during gym class one of the players on the basketball team made a comment about how I was asking for it and apparently the way it was said set Finn and Sam off, because Finn turned around and punch the guy in the face while Sam pushed the guy next to him. Next thing you know, Sam, Chris, Jameson, and Finn almost knocked out half the locker room.



And that was just gym class.



Apparently the rest of the team had been getting into fights all day. It really was a miracle they didn't suspend them all. But then our school would be down two or three sports teams and over 40 students. My rape ended up being a much bigger problem than anyone could have ever predicted.



Let's just say, I defiantly wasn't Gaurino's favorite student right now.



Or ever.