39 - Kitchen Stories

*I’m not telling you how to run your house or discipline those under your roof, but, Gator, my child is a walking disaster in the kitchen. Have a fire extinguisher nearby. – Trigg*
Rosie sat on the kitchen floor leaning against the cabinet door with her head resting on her knees that were bent up in front of her. Tears streamed out of her eyes and her arms were crossed over her stomach to try to stimmy the pain. Candy, the other club girl in the kitchen lay on the floor in the fetal position.
They both were laughing as Camille explained how she caught her mother’s kitchen on fire. But her mom got a new kitchen out of the experience. And then the time that they had gone camping, and she didn’t have the camp stove connected correctly.
“And there we were, in the middle of nowhere, a giant fireball mushrooming up out of our camp site. The propane tank has rocketed the fuck out of there. *Never* saw that bitch again. Hot dogs, brats and hamburgers are in pieces all over the place.”
Rinsing the last plate and placing it in the dishwasher, she turned off the water and then turned to face her friends. Drying her hands, she leaned up against the counter. She snickered looking at the two women that were still in their scrubs from the nursing home they both worked at. For years, she’d hears Tammy, Alicia and Doc say the floors were nasty and you’d never catch them on it. Especially a clubhouse kitchen floor.
And yet, there were two nurses doubled over due to laughter on the floor.
“Clay was supposed to be our *adult*,” she made finger quotes at this statement, “on the trip. He’s watching the propane tank do its disappearing trick. Then picks up what was left of either a hot dog or bratwurst, not sure which, and he’s like ‘I thought I was going to get some type of weenie this weekend.’ Looks at me and declares I’m the worst cock block ever.”
“Oh. My. God.” Rosie declared as she tipped her head back against the cabinet door and wiped tears away.
“Thankfully, Aramis, the smart fuck that he is, had packed a fire extinguisher. He puts the fire out while Porthos and Athos pull the deers out of the trees.”
“WAIT!” Candy said sitting up. “Why are there *deers* in the tree?”
“Where else would you put them? We had to put them somewhere to keep the predators away. I mean we field dressed them, but we still had to do something with them.”
“I was picturing the blast throwing deer into the tree.” Candy admitted as she also wiped the tears off her cheeks with her scrub shirt.
“Nah, me and Priss had already gotten a buck. The boys were so mad because we had been out there two days and in two days both us girls had gotten bucks, and the gay man had gotten a doe. We packed the fuck up and got the hell out of there and they never got anything that year.”
“Have you told Darkness about these escapades?” Rosie asked looking at the younger woman.
“I have.” Camille nodded. “I’ve told him about all the fires that I’ve started.”
“There’s more?” both bunnies asked at the same time.
“Yeah, I’ve caught a couple of grills on fire. Last year, I caught my sister’s kitchen on fire. Although, I don’t think that I’m to blame for that. She left me unsupervised in a kitchen with a gas stove turned on. All the elements were there, that’s on her.”
Rosie looked at Candy. “I have to ask.”
“If you don’t, I will,” Candy confirmed.
Turning their attention back to the teen in Powerpuff Girls pajamas, Rosie took a deep breath to steady herself. “Camille, how did you catch your sister’s kitchen on fire?”
“Which one?”
“Which sister?” Candy asked, “Or which kitchen?”
“How many sisters do you have?” Rosie added.
“I have five sisters, and four of them have kitchens. I’ve caught two of their kitchens on fire. And I have three brothers and two sisters-in-law, and they share a kitchen, which I’ve caught on fire. Dutch has a kitchen, and I’m not allowed to even get ice in his kitchen.”
“Who’s Dutch?” they asked at the same time.
“My oldest brother. He’s divorced, has two kids, and lives in a really nice condo. He does not allow me to stay in his place without adult,” she held her finger up as she caught herself, “*responsible* adult supervision.”
“I guess that takes Clay out of the equation?” Rosie laughed.
Laughing, Camille nodded. “He was removed from the *responsible adult* category when he decided we needed to clone his boyfriend’s willie so we could have a deep throat contest.”
The two women looked at the teen in shock with their eyes and mouths wide open.
“If you tip hour head back further and relax your jaw, you can probably take more. But that’s the basic position.”
“And you’re a virgin?” Rosie squeaked out.
“Not for the lack of trying,” Camille huffed out a small puff of air. “And I have a strange kink that most guys can’t get past.”
“Like feet?” Candy asked. “I know guys…”
“If it’s anal, you’re good,” Rosie moved her hand dismissively.
“It’s more of a voyeur kink,” Camille admitted nervously.
“Honey, you can watch me anytime.” Rosie offered.
Candy laughed, “We’ve *all* watched you. Usually bent over at the pony wall.”
“It’s like the perfect height,” Rosie pointed out and then a thought seemed to enter her head. Looking at Camille, she asked, “Or do *you* want to be watched?”
Camille shook her head as she bit her bottom lip. She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled before she looked around to make sure that no one was around before she quietly admitted her odd kink. “Blow jobs.”
“Oh, babe, guys *looooove* those!” Candy laughed.
“Hell yeah,” Rosie agreed, “you tell them that you want to watch them get a blow job and they are down.”
“Except Bayou John,” Candy pointed out.
“Oh, yeah, yeah, he’s down for everything except for receiving oral.”
“No, um, I mean I like to watch a guy go down.” Camille said nervously.
“Honey, feeling a man go down is better.” Rosie purred.
“Oh, God! You ever let Vivian go down on you? That woman could make me go bi.” Candy fanned herself.
“Oh, shit, yeah. She starts throwing back shots and my skirt starts getting shorter.” Rosie mocked pulling her skirt up.
“Gay porn.” Camille said, except she said it so quickly that it came out more like *acorn* instead of the two separate words she had intended to say.
The two women stopped and looked at the younger woman in shock.
“Like two men going at it?” Rosie asked and Camille nodded.
The two older women looked at each other and then back at the younger one. She had turned back to the sink and her arms were wrapped around her waist. Her body was trembling, and they heard a soft sniffle.
Without another word between them, they stood up and hugged their young friend between them.
“There is no judgement here,” Rosie assured her softly as she stroked Camille’s hair.
“Yeah, we have no room to judge anyone.” Candy agreed. “We whore ourselves for a place to stay and be able to pay our student loans.”
“Your hair is really soft.” Rosie said as she toyed with the should length locks.
Camille chuckled and laid her head on Rosie’s shoulder. “I have to use the shampoo and conditioner for when you color your hair.”
“The purple shampoo?” Candy asked and Camille nodded. “Because of the chlorine in the pool?”
“Yeah, if I don’t use it, I end up with green hair and not a pretty color either.”
“Okay, as long as you’re divulging all your secrets….” Candy said as she moved towards the refrigerator and grabbed them each a beer.
“Yes, I did the BJ competition.” Camile said as she twisted off the lid and snapped it across the room into the trashcan.
“Okay, that’s quite a talent.” Rosie observed.
Camille smirked. “A talent that I learned to get out of washing dishes.”
“We’re going to come back to the lid flipping and the competition,” Candy said. "I want to know why you always wear pajamas.”
Taking a drink of her beer, she smiled at the two women. “It started off as me being a smartass. Mom said that I was always trying to fall asleep and should live in my pajamas. But they’re really damned comfortable.” She motioned to their scrubs. “Why are you still in your scrubs?”
“They’re comfortable.” Candy admitted with a smile as they both watched Rosie try to snap the lid. With each attempt, it fell, and she grabbed for it before it fell to the floor.
“How the hell did you do that?”