Chapter 18

Selene

I meet Sam and Makayla for Sunday brunch at a cozy little diner. The diner is bustling with the late morning crowd, the smell of coffee and pancakes creating a comforting atmosphere. I stir my tea absentmindedly, my mind still lingering on the chaos Phoenix has brought into my life.

After having a discussion about how our internships are going, we begin to delve into our personal lives. Sam is enjoying the single life, while Makayla has been on the hunt for a man the past few weeks.

Makayla leans in, lowering her voice so she can't be heard over the diner's chattering. "So, last night I stayed at a guy's house, his name's Jamie. I actually think he might be a friend of your stepbrother, he says they went to training camp together."

"Ooh hot. I see both of my best friends have a thing for badboys," Sam teases.

My curiosity is piqued about Makayla and this Jamie guy, but I try to seem disinterested, especially after I told them things between Phoenix and me didn't work out and I'm dating my ex now. I force a neutral expression and sit my tea.

"Did you guys have sex?" Sam asks the question I wanted to ask.

"No, we did some things, but he refused to have sex with me," she answers, frustration evident on her face. "I think he's afraid of commitment, or maybe he's just waiting for his true mate. I don't know, he doesn't like to talk. Honestly, the lack of communication is beginning to become a turnoff."

Her words echo my own personal drama with my stepbrother. Maybe that's why Phoenix refused to have sex with me; he's waiting for his true mate. It's not like he's ever cared that I'm his stepsister, so that can't possibly be the reason. My last encounter with him still confuses and angers me, especially since he's been avoiding me ever since. I can still feel him watching me when I'm outside the house, a ghostly presence that both unnerves me and brings me an odd sense of comfort. I should be creeped the fuck out that he's literally stalking me, but it also makes me feel safe, like he's protecting me, like he still cares.

"Selene, you still never told us what happened between you and your stepbrother," Sam says, wiggling his eyebrows. "We both want to hear the juicy details."

I bite my lip, my mind going back to the last time we spoke. The memory makes me both sad and aroused at the same time. How is that possible? "Well, the last time he spoke to me, a few weeks ago, he spanked and fisted me and then said it was a mistake," I answer bluntly.

Sam's mouth falls open. "Holy fuck, like with his whole hand?"

Makayla slaps his shoulder. "Shut up, Sam. What do you mean the last time he spoke to you?"

"He's been avoiding me ever since. I thought things were finally going to happen between us, but I'm kinda over it. If he can't decide what he wants, he should just leave me the fuck alone."

"Are you serious? He sounds like a fucking dick who's deliberately trying to hurt you. Do I need to hurt him?" Makayla asks, her face turning deadly serious.

"Calm down, Harley Quinn," Sam cuts in. "I'm not defending him or anything, but what if he just doesn't know how to express himself? You've seen his relationship with his father, he was sent away to what humans would consider a military school. I'm sure the only emotions he knows how to express are violence and rage."

Makayla rolls her eyes. "Yeah, toxic masculinity and all that. But that makes it's okay for him to treat Selene like shit just because he doesn't know how not to?"

Sam presses his lips together in deep thought. "No, it definitely doesn't excuse it, but it does explain his behavior. He just needs some guidance, that's all."

The frustration I've been trying to suppress rises within me. "Well, I don't have time to guide him. I have another man that is ready to give me everything I want, someone more mature than him," I retort.

The waitress approaches the table, thankfully halting our discussion. After refilling our drinks, she leaves and Sam immediately turns his attention back to me.

"Oh yeah, how has dating Zack been?" he asks, and I feel a rush of relief at the change of subject.

"It was nice," I admit softly, taking another sip of my tea. "He makes me feel safe and special, and like I just said, he's more mature."

That has to count for something, right?

"Where'd he take you?" Makayla asks curiously.

"Some vegan burger shop." They both grimace but before either of them can speak, I quicky continue. "I know, I know. I'm like the farthest person from a vegan, but I wanted to go for him. He's on this whole health kick right now, and I want to be supportive."

"What's he gonna do next? Force green smoothies down your throat?" Sam asks in disdain.

He has been getting green smoothies for me and dropping them off at the office, but I don't tell them that. They're already being a bit judgmental.

"Are you actually happy with him?" Sam presses, his eyes narrowing with concern.

I take a deep breath, trying to sort through my conflicting emotions. Happy, yes. But I don't know if I'm in love with him again yet. That's going to take some more time to figure out.

I feign a smile. "I think I am."

"You think or you know?" Makayla asks, not letting me off the hook.

"I mean, I do like him. We've just both changed so much in the past five years, and I think we have to get to know each other again. Without the mate bond, we have to work to find the spark again."

"That makes sense. We just want to see you happy," Sam says, his voice softening.

"That, and Zack seems so boring. At least Phoenix added some spice to your life," Makayla comments, making my heart sink.

She's right, but that chapter in my life is closed, and I don't plan on reopening it. The thought of Phoenix, his intense blue gaze, and his possessive nature sends a shiver down my spine. I push the memory aside, focusing on the present.

"I'm happy with Zack. He's stable, and that's what I need in my life right now," I say firmly, trying to convince myself as much as them.

Deep down, I know a part of me still wants Phoenix, but I've decided I need stability, not another heartbreak.