Chapter 54

Selene

After going back inside the house, I pop open a bottle of wine, hoping to drown out the thoughts swirling in my mind about Phoenix. Perched on the kitchen counter, I idly slip from my glass, my gaze drifting towards the living room. There, Loki and Makayla, continue to flirt with each other, their quiet laughter and stolen glances stirring a mix of emotions inside me.

I glance at the clock on the wall. Phoenix has been gone for five hours. Where the hell is he?

Is he safe?

How many hours have to go by before it's okay to check in on him without seeming desperate?

My mind is a whirl of worry and what-ifs, and I don't even notice when Makayla silently moves to stand beside me. The scent of her honey shampoo drifts into my nostrils, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Hey, are you okay?" she asks quietly, her voice gentle as she takes the wine glass out of my hand.

"Yeah," I say absent-mindedly, the lie falling from my lips without much thought.

He tilts her head, her eyes narrowing with concern. "Are you sure? This is like your fifth glass," she points out.

It's clear that even while flirting with Loki, she's been watching me. Oh goddess. I must look like a hot mess to her, and I'm too embarrassed to explain what's wrong.

She'll probably think I sound pathetic if I tell her how much I miss Phoenix.

I sigh heavily. "Okay, no I'm not. I'm worried about Phoenix. What do you think him and Luke went to do?" I ask, unable to hide the anxiety in my voice.

Makayla reaches out and gently squeezes my hand, offering a reassuring smile. "I'm sure he's fine, and he would let you know if he were in any trouble," she reassures me, her words a small comfort in the midst of my growing unease.

She's right. I'm sure he'd tell me if he were in danger.

I nod, thankful for her support, though the gnawing worry doesn't fully disappear. Needing a distraction, I shift the topic of conversation to her. "Um, how are you doing? I see you're spending quite a lot of time with Mr. Creepy over there," I say through mind-link, playfully wiggling my eyes in her direction.

A nervous smile spreads across her face as a blush creeps across her cheeks. "Yeah, I guess we are," she admits, her soft voice reverberating in my skull.

"Do you like Loki?" I ask her bluntly, my eyes darting to the giant terrifying bodyguard sitting on the couch, engrossed in his phone. His back is turned to us, but I'm sure with the long stretch of silence, he's figured out that we're likely talking about him.

Her blush deepens, and she shifts back and forth on her feet. "I...I think so," she finally admits.

I mean, it was pretty obvious, but I think I just made her realize it for herself.

She's probably always been in love with him, even when they were kids. It's the only thing that makes sense. He's only been back in her life for like a day and she's this obsessed with him.

It must've been painful the last time she saw him before he left. She told me he went to the military when he was freshly eighteen, but even then, he had disconnected himself from her. Maybe he was preparing her for what it would be like when he was no longer there to protect her.

At least, that's what I'm going to convince myself. I don't to think that he willingly hurt her, willingly pushed her away for no reason.

Makayla speaks hesitantly, "It might even be something more...but I don't want to say it's love. If Loki doesn't feel the same way about me, this feeling would be pointless, so I definitely don't want to say it out loud."

I'm silent for a moment, considering what she said. If she really does love Loki, maybe she said should tell him. Yes, there's a chance he's mostly emotionally unavailable—hell, he's practically a brick wall most of the time, but Phoenix is that way too and I've made a lot of progress with him.

After what I saw in the backyard with the dogs, it's clear Makayla has the ability to bring out a tender side of him that I doubt anyone else ever could.

"You know, although I'm kinda nervous about it, I'm so happy Phoenix accepted and marked me. I feel more connected to him than ever," I confess, hoping I can convince her to take a chance.

Skepticism crosses her face, her brows furrowing slightly. "Are you sure? Because that worry on your face say something different."

I let out a long sigh, beginning to gnaw on my lip. "I think that's just my own insecurities talking. It is scary for us...giving our all to someone who has the power to break our hearts. Honestly, after Zack rejected me as his mate, I never wanted to give anyone else a chance. I didn't want to love again. So, yes, it is hard to trust Phoenix with my heart, but I'm learning."

She glances over at Loki, then back at me, her expression softening with understanding. "I totally get that. I think I'm afraid to get hurt too," she admits softly. "And I know Jamie thinks we're going somewhere...I don't want to hurt him either, if he has legit feelings for me."

That is something else for her to think about because Jamie is most likely going to be crushed, but it's better she tell him now than later.

I squeeze her hand reassuringly, just as she did mine. "It will be scary, but I think it will be work telling him how you feel, no matter the outcome. Sometimes, the risk is worth it, and with all the disappointment and pain we've experienced in our lives, the riskiest shots might lead to happiness."

She nods slowly, her eyes reflecting a mix of fear and hope. "Maybe you're right. Maybe it's time I take that risk."