Chapter Ninety-eight Estera Roberts’ POV (Two days later…)

“I’m sorry … I should have known better and gotten help--”
“Don’t apologize. It wasn’t your fault. I am just glad you weren’t taken from us—”
“Please, tell me Doctor Benjamin and Doctor Rasheed got off unhurt,” he said.
“They are fine — traumatized, but fine,” I replied.
“Thank God. What happened to Edward Sterling?”
“He died … the police killed him when they discovered their men weren’t responding to their radio call anymore.”
“Shit. I tried to help them. He didn’t let me.”
“You could have bled to death too if Evan hadn’t risked speaking with Edward to make him let you, Ashley and Ameera go.”
“He must feel like hell … I know I would. Having a man like that as a father must be tough.”
“He is happy you are alright—” I said. He sighed.
“Where is he now?”
“In Charlestown … helping his mother take care of Edward, Antony and Anastasia Dallas’ burial arrangements--”
“Shit! She didn’t make it?”
“No…”
“Her daughter?”
“Mary Antoinette is responding to treatment, although she is still unconscious.”
“Poor woman. I hope she pulls through—look at you, your eyes … Roberts. You look tired.”
“I can rest now that I know you are going to be fine,” I said in almost a whisper. He smiled.
“I am sorry I made you worry. But I must confess it feels good to know you care so much about me.”
“I love you, Cole, you mean so much to me … I don’t know what I would have done if I had lost you,” I whispered. He held my gaze for about a minute, and then slowly brushed his lips over mine. I felt him tremble. He sighed.
“You are not going to lose me, Roberts, I promise,” he rasped.
“Good, because I will haunt you if you die on me.”
“I am certain it would be the other way round,” he said with a crooked smile. I giggled, stroking his now hair-matted jaw as I peered into his eyes.
“How are the boys? Where are they?” he asked.
“They are fine. Ashley and Ameera are helping us to babysit them. My aunt is coming over tomorrow with Evan.”
“You finally told her about the twins?”
“Yes, and she is thrilled.”
“That’s good to know. I’m happy for you, Roberts,” he said, holding my gaze intently.
“Thank you,” I said in a sultry whisper. “Tell me how you feel? Does anything hurt? Do you feel strange in any way? Should I get another body x-ray done, Cole?”
“Doctor Roberts, I know you must have driven the entire hospital crazy making sure you don’t miss anything. I know I am in safe hands because I have you as a doctor,” he said and cupped my jaw. “I feel fine … alright, that’s not entirely true--”
“What is it?” I asked with concern. A deep frown furrowed my eyebrows and my eyes darted in their sockets as I searched his eyes hurriedly.
“You need to get off this bed and give me a little space.”
“Oh, my God, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to cramp you—”
“No, beautiful, you are giving me a hard-on. Get out of this bed, Roberts,” he said in almost a long-suffering drawl with a hard edge to his voice. I gaped and then dissolved into giggles. He scowled at me.
“Okay, okay. I’m getting off,” I said. But when I started to withdraw from him, he stopped me, reaching out to gather me against his side. I bury my face in the nook of his neck with a contented sigh. He held on to me with his lower body slightly pulled back from my body. I felt him press a kiss on my hair.
“Stay awhile,” he mumbled. I nodded against his skin, after about a minute of silence. I moved closer to his body, pressed hard against his side and slowly laid a hand over his pectoral. He let out a low groan and muttered against my hair. “You are killing me, Roberts.”
I shook with laughter. I doubt I will ever get tired of messing with him.
“I love you too, Doctor Cole Foster. Best friend forever?” I said.
“It would surely be a cold day in hell before you shove me into that category, Roberts,” he rasped. I laughed, shaking with laughter against his body.
“I am so happy you are alright—” I said and brushed my lips against his neck. He shivered.
“Stop!” he said with an exaggerated groan. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my face to the side of his face, letting out a shuddering breath.
“I am fine, Roberts,” he reaffirmed in a deep husky tone, laying on his side to hold me by the nape of my neck. I merely nodded.
“Don’t scare me like that again, Cole,” I whispered with emotions.
“I promise—” he replied, giving me a lazy grin.
"Cole…"
"Yes?"
"Evan wants us to redo our marriage vows."
"Will that make you happy?" he asked, looking deeply into my eyes. My heart constricted.
"Yes."
"Then I am happy for you. That makes a lot of sense, rededicating yourselves would give the two of you a clean slate," he said meaningfully with a voice deep with emotions.
"I'm sorry, Cole," I whispered.
"Don't be," he said and his eyes dimmed with a smile — albeit a sad one. "This is part of the drill, right? To truly love someone selflessly, one can't be selfish. Yes, darling, I want you to myself. I wish I am the one you are married to. I wish those beautiful boys of yours were mine. But I came too late into your life. I have to accept you are taken and respect you and your choices. Does it hurt? Hell, yeah! Will I die every day to see another man bringing joy into your life and smiles to your face, yes -- It will be excruciating. But ultimately, you are the one that matters. Your happiness should come before mine. Trying to disrupt that because I want you to myself wouldn't be nice. I will not be able to live with myself and the love you have for me will turn to resentment. That was why I made him come after you. And I'm glad to know he knows you are deserving. I doubt I will ever stop loving or wanting you, Roberts, but that isn't your burden to carry. I'm capable of carrying that myself. I will be fine. We will be fine and you will not lose me. No matter what."
By the time he was done, my eyes were blurred with tears. And his voice was thick with emotions. I leaned forward and kissed him. He shuddered and kissed me back. The kiss was quick but intense. And I let him be the one to pull back. He held me against his body, pressing his face to my hair.
"I love you, Estera," he whispered. And my brain noted that was possibly the first time he called me only by my first name.