Chapter Twenty-six Estera Roberts’ POV (Present Time)

I shut my eyes and took a deep sigh. The answer to that question was quite simple. Evan was my everything and as a result, I shouldn't be with any other man because doing so would not only make me hurt the other person, I would be hurting myself as well. But then to admit to that would mean I have condemned myself to a life of loneliness. A life where I would pine for him for the rest of my life. But is this the end though? The end of my story with Evan Sterling?
I had thought Evan was in my past and when I least expected it he came back to claim me and reminded me that he loves me. I may be crazy for still nurturing the hope that he may find his way back to me. But I wanted to give him a chance; a chance for him to fulfill all his promises to me just like I had fulfilled mine. He promised me a family; a life with him filled with love and laughter and children. A life in which he would be the center of my world and I would draw fresh breath every morning with him wrapped around me. He promised me. He promised me … forever. Damn it! And I want it all with him and no one else. Tears clouded my eyes and when I opened them Cole was watching me intently. I smiled through my tears.
"Can you ask me again in, let's say, six months?" I said in a barely audible tone, pressing my lips together to keep them from trembling. ‘I want Evan. I want my love back,’ I cried internally. But I knew that may not be possible.
"You want me to wait till we are colleagues?" Cole asked with his intelligent eyes watching me keenly. That wasn't what I meant but I was glad for the reprieve and so I nodded. Mentally telling myself that I would give Evan six months to wave a magic wand and get us back together.
'And what if he doesn't? He didn't come after your ass when you first left?!' a voice yelled in my head. I let out a sigh. 'If he doesn't then that means we were never meant to be,' I thought to myself. And the possibility of living the rest of my life without him, made my heart tighten painfully. 'Then I will give Cole a chance,' I thought with strong resolve.
"Yes. Let's wait. But…"
"No, ‘but’. I can wait. I waited this long, didn't I?"
"But I need to talk to you about my past…"
"You mean your ex?" he asked, and my body and soul visibly rejected the term he used to describe Evan even though I was the one who told him so. Evan wasn't my ex. He can never be my ex.
"Yes," I replied in a barely audible tone averting my eyes. "But not now," I added.
"Whenever you are ready. I will be here for you."
I nodded and gestured with my hands to the diner.
"We better get in there," I said with a chuckle, trying to hide my awkwardness.
"Sure," Cole said, sounding somewhat withdrawn now. I felt I was supposed to ask him what had gotten him like that but I was tired and hungry. I couldn't wait to get back to the apartment and lock myself in my room. I wanted desperately to be alone, but I knew I had to be strong and act like everything was fine.
Ameera and Ashley searched my gaze immediately we entered the diner and I flashed them a bright smile hoping it was convincing. I knew I wasn't fooling anyone when my friends looked over my shoulders wearily. Cole placed his hand on the small of my back and I clenched my jaw to prevent myself from flinching again. He gestured for me to take a seat first and I flashed him a thankful smile.
"This looks delicious. I said as I rubbed my hands together in anticipation, fixing my gaze on the arrays of pancakes and different flavored toppings neatly arranged on the table. Ashley and Ameera had our plates placed on the empty side of the table and I gave the two a grateful smile. I picked up my silverware ready to dig in then saw from the corner of my eye as Cole picked a napkin on the table. I promptly took it from him and folded it neatly to tuck it in front of his shirt. Our eyes met and he smiled at me. I couldn't smile back but whatever he may have seen in my eyes made him relax. I felt relieved, thinking at least he doesn't hate me yet, but I know he will soon enough when he finds out how deep my emotions ran for Evan to exorcism level. I faced my food and glanced up at my friends in reflex.
Ameera hid a smile, taking a bite out of her pancake and Ashley picked up her disposable coffee cup and took a sip while pointedly holding my gaze. I swallowed softly and tried to pick up my silverware but my hands shook and I lowered them back on my lap.
Cole poured some coffee into my cup and then his. He added creamer to mine and nothing to his. I recalled that I used to tease him about that. I raised an arched eyebrow at him. He chuckled, breaking the tension around the table. Ameera kept Cole occupied with medical questions while Ashley kept darting her worried gaze at me. I knew she was still feeling guilty and I reached across the table to dab the tip of her nose with strawberry toppings. She gasped and I giggled, then our eyes met and I silently assured her that I was fine. She relaxed afterward and joined Ameera in riling Cole. When he dropped his fork to glower at the two, we all busted out laughing.
“Christ! One would think this is your first day of internship. I am trying to eat breakfast, ladies,” he said, sounding affronted. I giggled - an act which earned me a glare as well. The rest of our time at the diner went smoothly from thereon. And so did our ride back to the apartment. Ameera kept threatening to go into a food coma, making Cole laugh. I was glad I was able to hide my dark mood and not drag everyone down with me. When Cole parked in front of our building. My friends thanked him and got out of the car.
“Thank you so much. I hope I haven’t ruined your weekend. I feel so bad for dragging you into this,” I said.
“Hey, it’s okay. I am glad you girls are fine. That’s the important part,” he replied, reaching for my hands, enclosing them in his warm, strong ones. “Are you going to be fine?” he asked and I felt momentarily disarmed. And it must have shown in my eyes. “I know you are trying to be strong, but I need you to know that ultimately your peace and happiness matter to me the most,” he added.
Christ! Why oh why do I have to meet this wonderful being after my heart has already been taken? I almost envy the woman he would end up with. He is the perfect man. Without thinking I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the corner of his lips. His lovely eyes flashed intensely and he let go of my hands to cup the back of my neck and kissed me. His lips were warm, and his mouth tasted of coffee. Cole was a great kisser. I would give him that. While his mouth on mine felt pleasant, Evan’s would have set my body on fire. Thankfully he pulled back, pressing his forehead against mine. “Call me if you need me. Okay?”
“Kay,” I whispered and he drew back. I felt his reluctance and I smiled into his eyes. But he didn't return the smile. His eyes lowered to my lips and I need not imagine what he was thinking -- the smoldering gaze was quite telling. I pushed the door open and stepped out.
I saw that Ameera and Ashley were waiting for me by the door entrance. I shut the car door, waved, and slipped my hands inside the pockets of my jacket. I didn't turn away until Cole’s car was out of sight then I turned to my friends and walked up to them. The two met me halfway and wrapped me up in a group hug.
“Come let’s get you upstairs,” Ashley said and together we went up to our apartment. I tried to avert my eyes from my friends' worried gazes. I knew they were concerned for me. But before I talked to them about what happened, I needed to do one thing first.
I excused myself as soon as we entered our apartment and went inside my room to get my laptop. I sat on my bed, and powered it, ignoring the fact that both of my friends had followed me and were hovering around like mother hens.
I opened my online banking account, brought out the piece of paper I wrote the Sterlings' business bank account, and transferred the money that I had kept for close to a decade waiting like a tumor in my separate account.
Immediately I pressed send, I started to breathe fast and hard. I had come a long way to be here -- a very long way to be able to do this. I had feared that one day I would need that money, and I thank God I never did. Thanks to my parents' foresight.
Today I feel liberated from the sterlings. Today I am no longer what he said I was. I am Doctor Estera Roberts! One of the best surgeons in the fucking world. Oh, Edward! You wounded this poor girl’s heart when you said I would never be worth more than a maid, and your son would forever be out of my league. This broken bird who you said would always fly with one wing has fucking grown a bloody mechanical one.
Emotions submerged me and I couldn’t hold back anymore. I broke down and shook with tears, and then I felt my friend's arms around me, reminding me I was not alone.
“Who is he? Tell us, Estie,” Ashley urged.
“Yes, get it off your chest it might be therapeutic for you,” Ameera interjected.