Chapter Twenty-five Estera Roberts’ POV (Present Time)

“Shit!” I cursed under my breath. “Shit! Shit! Shit!”
My heart slammed in my chest at the sight of Cole. For the life of me, I have forgotten his existence!
Evan, goddammit! From the moment I laid my eyes on him, my reality ceased to exist. How could I have forgotten Cole?! A few hours before I was contemplating being with him and now, the very thought made me very uncomfortable. Cole’s very existence made me feel guilty. How I could feel that way was pure madness! Evan is a married man, damn it! I shouldn’t have even been with him. He was my past. I should have let him stay there. Especially when neither of us could do a damn thing to change our situation. But deep inside me, I knew when it comes to Evan, I was powerless. I lack the willpower to refuse him anything.
“I love you,” I recalled his passionate declaration that further enslaved my heart. My eyes blurred with tears and I quickly shook my head. It wouldn't do to fall apart now and scare my friends. I stood up, and raised my hand, hesitantly, to wave when Cole glanced sideways at me. His worried gaze made me feel like shit.
“Damn it, Evan!” I continued to curse under my breath.
Ashley and Ameera exited the vehicle from the back seat and crossed the road to wrap me up in a tight hug.
“Are you alright?” Ameera whispered hurriedly, searching my gaze. Ashley looked close to tears.
“I am fine, truly,” I said, smiling at the two.
“This is all my fault. If I haven’t—” Ashley started to say.
“Stop. Evan didn’t hurt me,” I said, not wanting her to feel guilty. Her predicament had led me back to the arms of the man I love. And I have had the most amazing experience being with him. I figured it wouldn’t be fair to let her feel bad about it.
“You know the guy?” Ameera asked, searching my gaze intently.
“Yes, I will tell you all about him when we get back to the apartment, okay?” I whispered.
“Okay… But you look like you have been crying,” Ashley said, sounding miserable.
“I have. He was… is someone very special to me,” I replied with a shaky smile. Ameera nodded in somewhat understanding. “How come Cole is here?” I whispered, searching their gazes.
“He almost broke down our door this morning! Apparently, he has been trying to reach you and when he didn’t get any response, he tried Ashley’s, then mine. I think we scared him shitless when none of us answered our phones. When you called earlier, he was right there,” Ameera hurriedly explained.
“There was nothing we could do, we had to tell him!” Ashley interjected.
“Oh my God! What did you tell him?!” I whispered in dismay.
“Enough—” Cole’s deep tone answered before the girls could reply. We all raised our faces to see him glowering down on us. “Get in the car,” he ordered like an angry parent. I swallowed hard.
“Yes, doctor,” Ashley and Ameera responded in resignation. I held his dark gaze and nodded my thanks. I could see him working his jaw as if he was trying to contain his emotions.
We all crossed the street and got inside Cole's car. I sat in the front seat wrapping my arms around myself while the girls went to sit in the back seat. Ashley reached around the leather seat to wrap her arms around my shoulders. I smiled and gently patted the back of her hand, reassuring her again that I was fine.
“I know a place that is open round the clock and serves pancakes with all kinds of toppings, we should stop there for breakfast,” Cole said with a calm composure but I could sense he was trying hard to keep his true emotions locked in.
“That would be great. Thank you,” I said, taking a side glance at him. He nodded without sparing me a look.
“Thank you, Doctor Foster!” Ameera said in obvious delight.
“Hmm…” Cole responded.
“I am so hungry I could eat a horse! Thank you,” Ashley interjected.
A few minutes later we were parking in front of a diner on 9th Avenue. Ashley and Ameera exited the car and when I tried to push the passenger door open, Cole reached out to put a hand on my wrist, I flinched as if scalded. My eyes widened in horror realizing what I had done as I turned back to look into his eyes. A deep frown furrowed in between his thick eyebrows and his beautiful eyes darted in their sockets as he searched mine hurriedly.
“You girls go on without us and place the order. I would like to have a second with Dr. Roberts,” Cole said, addressing Ashley and Ameera without taking his eyes off of me. I lowered my gaze and took a glance at my friends, trying to assure them it was fine.
“Okay, Doctor Foster,” Ameera replied. Ashley just chewed her lower lip nervously, throwing an apologetic glance at me. I nodded encouragingly. A moment later, the back door was closed and I was left alone with Cole. I slowly raised my eyes to hold his.
“I am so sorry I made you worry,” I quickly said, unconsciously imitating Ashley’s agitated gesture as I chewed my lower lip.
“Was it consensual, Doctor Roberts? Or do we need to involve the police?”
“What?”
“The man that took you away from your ‘gig’. Did he sexually molest you?”
“Jesus, Cole, I can’t have this conversation with you! And no! He didn’t need to!”
“It is him then.”
“Him what?”
“The one who has been a wedge between us for the past years?”
“Cole…”
“Don’t bother to lie, Doctor Roberts, you bloody reek of him!”
“What?!” I gaped at him, feeling suddenly exposed. Damn it! He is a doctor and a smart one not to mention attractive as hell and he would know what a woman who just spent an entire night being plundered smells like.
Christ in heaven! I prayed at that moment that if indeed there was a God he would cause an earthquake so I could just die of shame right then. Heat rushed to my cheeks and I couldn't get a word out. I did consider bolting. But then he pressed the door locks as if he could bloody read my mind or perhaps my panic was palpable.
“Why the hell isn’t he the one taking you back to your apartment? Why did you need to call your friends to come to get you? Dr. Roberts.” Cole fired more questions and I swallowed, finally closing my mouth.
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him to go to hell. He wasn’t my father or boyfriend, he was just … a friend I had to consider fucking, but it isn’t my fault Evan showed up. “Speak, Roberts!”
“He is my ex… and the choice to go home alone was mine,” I said.
“So, what was it you had with him: a welcome back to my life? Breakup sex or reunion? Which was it?”
“I don't want to talk about this right now. Could you please…” I said in a pleading tone. He was making me feel very uncomfortable.
“Do you have any idea of how I feel right now? I gave you time to get used to the idea of us being together, and like an idiot let another man have you,” he said in a low growl. His eyes were dark with feelings. His normally calm disposition was nonexistent. He seemed almost tortured. And I could see his fist was balled up as if he was preventing himself from reaching out to touch me again. I wanted to say or do something to soothe or make him smile at me the way he used to. I couldn’t tell how deep his emotions were for me, but I thought of him as a friend and didn’t want to be insensitive to his emotions. If I was the one in his shoes, I would want him to not be dismissive and act like a jerk.
“I thought you only wanted sex…” I teased, holding his gaze
“What? Why the hell would I want just sex with you? You are beautiful, smart -– at least I used to think so,” he said glowering at me. I smiled, thinking he looked really cute, angry, and jealous as hell. At that moment I wished Evan was a man I could let go in my head for Cole. He was a wonderful beautiful man, and he wanted me with nothing holding him back aside from him being my boss and we can’t openly date. I leaned forward to cup his perfectly chiseled jaw.
“I hate to state the obvious but we can’t date, Dr. Foster. I hate for folks to think I slept my way to my position, Boss-man.”
“That would not be a problem when the year ends. We will be colleagues.”
“Looks like you have given this quite a thought, Dr. Foster.”
“You have no idea,” he said under his breath.
“What then do you want exactly, Dr. Foster?” I said in a playful but solemn tone.
“I want you, Roberts. I want you to be mine.”
“I don’t know if that is possible, Cole,” I said barely audibly, feeling really raw.
“Do you intend to see him again?”
“No. I - I can’t,” I said with an aching heart.
“Then why not?” he asked earnestly. “Tell me why you can’t give us a chance.”
‘Yes, Estera, why not?’ a voice resounded in my head.