Chapter Eighty-one Estera Roberts’ POV (Present Time)

"Yes!" I screamed. I swore that if I was asked to say my children's names, I would not remember! That was how much control he had over me. I was shaking so bad, he whispered into my ears to calm me while nibbling on the shell of my ear.
"Sshh…"
"A-ah…" I groaned. And he didn't stop as he bucked steadily inside me, making tears stream down the sides of my face. I felt high –- high on pleasure. It was beautiful.
Then I felt him cup my left breast with his large hand and whispered, "You are fuller, bigger, damn it … You are beautiful ... "
I felt I should say something but I don't think I still remember how to form words. I raise a shaky hand to run my fingers through his hair and even attempted to speak, but then his warm mouth closed around one hardened bud and I jerked up like someone tased and moaned his name loudly. Evan framed my waist and fed on my breast, suckling on my nipples one after the other. He slipped one hand in between our bodies to stroke my clit and never paused from fucking me, and then I think I died. Because I lost control, and completely drowned in ecstasy. Evan drove even harder into me, and then he cried my name as he shook hard atop me. I wanted to hold him to prevent him from withdrawing from me. I wanted him wrapped around me like this forever but I couldn't move. I had turned into a puddle — a complete marshmallow. I just wanted to shut my eyes and sleep with him holding me securely in his arms.
"Don't you dare sleep," he said, stroking his lips against the side of my lips. "You promised me dinner…"
"I did," I replied with a lazy smile.
"Then afterwards, we are going to do this again and again," he whispered, using his teeth to draw my lower lip into his mouth. He suckled on it.
"Yes, yes—please," I whispered. And that was the proof I needed to be certain I had lost my mind. This wasn't like old times, I have kids and work in the morning. But then if Evan wants me to dance naked in the snow right now, I will do it. I managed to use my boneless hand to cup his manly jaw, opening my eyes, I whispered, "What do you want to eat?"
"I know you meant food but keep looking at me like that. And neither of us would be getting off this bed."
"You say that like it's a bad thing … " I said. He laughed.
"God, I miss you … " he rasped, holding my gaze for about a minute before lowering his head to take my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck, raking my fingers through the hair on his nape.
"I miss you too, my love," I whispered.
***
Between the two of us, we were able to make something decent to eat. I was amazed at his cooking skills now. He was far better than he used to be.
"Someone now has mad chef skill … " I teased, watching him serve our food on the two plates I placed in front of him.
He chuckled and replied, "Oh yeah? Just had to get better at it for pure survival.” He sighed. “I work odd hours and spent most time alone … It was either that or starve sometimes."
"Alone, baby?" I said, giving him a side glance. He stopped to hold my gaze and shrugged.
"I think I became a little bit withdrawn after … after I lost you, and just hated humans. Often times I preferred my own company and just didn’t want any one around me. It's been … a long lonely years, babe. Work was the only thing that was dependable and I stuck to it,” he said making my heart clench painfully. And then he grinned and added, “I bought a house—"
"Another one?" I replied, searching his gaze, trying to match his mood even though my heart was breaking for the life he just described.
"Yes, something 'fitting'," he said with an air quote. I smiled.
"My mom and Mary Antoinette live there … I have my things there and I make sure I visit there at least once in two weeks just so people remember I owned the damn house."
"Where do you stay?"
"In an apartment close to my new head office," he said as we sat down on the long chairs by the island table, settling down to eat. "And sometimes in my office. It's big and on the last floor. The entire floor was to be used as my office. I thought it was wasteful but agreed we needed it for the brand — a power play of some sort. I decided to create an adjoining room with a kitchenette so I could crash there."
"What happened to that apartment we used to stay in? The condo?"
"It's still there…" he replied in a bland tone and I could see him working his teeth. I knew then it was an emotional subject for him.
"Do you still go there?" I asked. My voice was barely a whisper.
"I … " he said and paused, letting out a mocking laugh, he shook his head. "I couldn't, babe," he added. His voice was thick with emotions. I slipped my arm under his and pressed my face to his biceps. "Too many haunting memories. I couldn't--" he said again in a husky whisper.
"Looks like we both ran but couldn't quite get away…"
"You were in my dreams every day — the life we lived in a constant replay in my head when I am most vulnerable. I couldn't really run, Estera. I just had to live with the hole in my heart," he said in resignation. My heart constricted. I wanted to know if he ever tried to forget me by dating other women, knowing he was a sexually active man, but the thought made me feel strange which was weird. It may have taken time but I did date Cole but that didn't mean I wanted to hear about Evan's exploits. It dawned on me the effort he was making to accept Cole as part of my life. I doubted I would be that calm if any of Evan's Barbie decided to hang around. I would definitely let them know he was mine.
"When we manage to get the Dallas' out of our lives--"
"Yes?" he urged, holding my gaze. His intense scrutiny was quite hypnotizing. To think this magnificent man loves me and was all mine.
"I want a redo of that wedding, Evan," I said. He smiled. I couldn’t help reaching out to cup his jaw. His eyes shone with happiness and my heart constricted.
"Of course, baby, anything you want, my beautiful witch," he said and I swallowed. Leaning into him, I pressed my lips to his. "I will take care of you and our children. I promise. Nobody will tear us apart ever again," he added in an impassioned whisper against my lips. I couldn't speak. I could only wrap my arms around him and cried silently. My shoulders shook and he turned in his seat to pull me in between his legs and gathered me into his arms. Pressing my face on his pectorals and inhaling his scent, and with his arms holding me securely in his loving embrace, I felt whole. And even though I knew we had a mountainous hurdle ahead of us — something possibly life-threatening. I knew come what may, we will face it together.