Chapter 10

Amanda Pov.
I don't know the exact time I finished the game. I just know it was pretty late. The rest of the game I don't know how it went because I was kind of absent. All I could think about was the kiss between me and Ron. I've been kissed before…Josh was always showing off in front of his friends, but I've never been kissed with so much…passion. How am I ever going to be able to look at Ron again when all I can think about is the way he kissed me?
-I think we should end this evening and partition the rooms. Karla says yawning.
It's clear who I'll end up sharing a room with, and so far I've had no emotions sharing a room with Ron. After we all knew that Max and Karla would share one room and Joe and Paul would share the other room, Ron and I went to his room.
None of us say anything and everything is already starting to get embarrassing.
- Do you go to the shower first or me? I decide to break the silence, and when Ron stares at me I realize how strange that sounded.
What on earth is in my head asking that?
-Amanda...Don't act like that.
-As?
- You know what I mean... The kiss was extraordinary. I could say that for the first time I felt perfect kissing a girl, but if this is going to destroy our friendship then I'd rather forget everything. He says sincerely, but my gaze rests on his lips every time he says a word.
Damn...I knew this would happen.
-OK…
- No, it's not ok. Stop backing off and talk to me. Tell me you felt miserable kissing me. Tell me you didn't like the kiss at all. But…when you're going to tell me that, remember that I felt what you felt.
I want to tell him many things but no words leave my mouth. I just sit in the same spot and watch Ron look at me hopefully.
I sigh and run my fingers through my hair.
-What do we do now, Ron? I ask with a trembling voice because I'm afraid I'll lose the only friend I have.
-What you mean?
I don't know why, but I find myself crying out of nowhere, and Ron pulls me into his arms and hugs me tightly. He rubs my back trying to calm me down and I wet his shirt with my tears but he doesn't seem to care at all.
-Talk to me, Amanda, please. He continues to ask me, and I pull my nose in an unfeminine way.
- I... I've never been kissed so much...
-Passion?
-...Yes.
-Me neither. He tells me with a smile and I snort.
-Now you just want to make me feel good.
-I would never lie about how I felt. And I certainly wouldn't lie to you.
Blinking away the tears often, I look at him to make sure everything I'm hearing is real and not all just in my head.
-And now what will happen? I don't want to lose you as a friend.
-I don't want that either. I don't want you to think I want to force you to make a choice. When you're ready to tell me what you think about us as a couple, I'll always be there to listen. Think as much as you need. Is that ok?
I simply nod my head and distance myself from him a little.
-Ok... Now, let's go to sleep. It's quite late and I've scheduled a trip through the woods tomorrow.
I take a clean towel and pajamas out of my suitcase along with shampoo and shower gel and then go to the bathroom. In the hot shower I reassess my situation with Ron. He is a good person and I know he would never hurt me on purpose, but if I agree to be in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship and at some point we fight or break up...I don't see how we can continue after that to be friends. It would have destroyed everything.
Damn him for leaving the hardest choice on my shoulders.
I get out of the shower as soon as I'm clean and wipe the steamy mirror looking at myself. Even if I chose to have a relationship with Ron, I don't see what he would see in me. I'm not like other girls. Mother Nature has not been kind to me in the female parts. I'm not saying I don't have breasts at all, they're just not as big as other girls my age have.
I start to dry my body with a towel after I'm done admiring my body in the mirror, then I put on my pajamas consisting of a pair of shorts and a tank top, and leave the bathroom.
Ron is already changed into other clothes and I try my best not to stare at his stomach. He has a habit of sleeping bare chested. I've never had a problem with it, but ever since I've seen it in my home gym, something has just woken up in me and I don't know why.
- Don't you want me to sleep on the armchair this time? I ask him as I try to dry my hair with another towel.
- It would be ridiculous to let you sleep in the armchair, Amanda. He says as he measures me with his eyes.
-OK Goodnight. I say and sit on the bed.
- Good night, Amanda, and I hope you don't act so strange around me tomorrow.
-I am sorry.
Ron sighs and I sit to the side so I can see him.
-I see that kiss messed you up and I don't like it at all. Don't worry anymore. We will remain friends.
-Just friends?
-Yes. Now go to sleep.
Ron turns his back to me and my gut tells me something is wrong with him, but I choose to close my eyes and drift off to sleep.