Chapter 29

"How good are your wards?"
He reached over the couch and pulled back both the gauze and the black-out curtain that hung over my picture window so that he could scan the front yard. I looked under his arm and didn't see anything out of the ordinary, but that didn't mean Blue wasn't out there. I'd already seen how well he could hide.
"The wards will hold."I settled against Thor. "Even against him they'll hold, but I can't stay here forever."
He looked down at me sharply. "You can block him from your mind. It's not easy, but I can teach you."
I felt some of the tension slide away. "We need to do that now before Huitzilopochtli finds me."
"You're right."He took my face in his hands. "I can do a quick, temporary block right away to tide us over, if you let me in."
"Let you in?"
"To your mind."He nodded gravely. "Completely."
I sighed and squeezed my eyes shut as I dropped my mental defenses. Immediately, I felt Thor's presence, but he wasn't alone. There was a shadow there with him. Thor's presence brightened, growing stronger and stronger until the shadow screeched angrily and fled. I felt impervious shields slide into place; practically hearing the clang of metal as they fell.
"Whoa."I blinked up at Thor.
"A few minutes more, and he might have found you."Thor had a tiny trickle of sweat dripping down his cheek.
"And you can teach me to do that?"
"I believe I can,"he said and smiled. "You're already familiar with warding, I felt your mental wards when I passed into your mind, so this shouldn't be too difficult for you."
"It felt as if steel walls were falling around me."I thought about how I usually meditated each morning to put a psychic shield into place. "Normally, I visualize a glowing web of light surrounding me and everything that hits it, makes it glow brighter."
"Good technique,"he said approvingly, "but not good enough to keep out the Aztec. You need something stronger than a web. He's had your blood; it allows him to slip past your normal defenses. He's the one carrying the link so it's going to be harder to shut him out than if it were reversed."
"Like with you?"I watched him very carefully. How much would he try to hold back in order to keep the upper hand?
"Exactly."Thor frowned as his eyes flew over my wary expression. "I didn't give you a blood oath to bind you, Vervain. I gave it to you to free you. If you want rid of me, the same techniques you'll learn to block out Huitzilopochtli will work on me."
"No, it's fine."I smiled apologetically. "Trust issues; sorry. I just want to know that there's an escape clause. I don't like feeling trapped."
"I offered you protection, not prison."Thor smiled back. "The very oath that binds us prevents me from doing anything to harm you and in fact requires me to do everything I can to prevent you from being harmed. It's a very old ritual, very powerful, and I've given you an advantage over me by using it with you."
"That's what's so hard for me to understand."I looked over this amazing man and just couldn't believe he'd want anything to do with me, much less want to watch over me for the rest of my life. "Why would you do that? You barely even know me. Am I that important to your cause?"
He looked away; the tips of his perfect teeth showing as he bit his lip.
"What?"I angled my face to peer up into his. "Why are you suddenly reeking of guilt?"
"I didn't have to use our bond to find your home."Thor lifted his head but there was a thick furrow in his brow now. "I've been waiting here for you since I ran up against Huitzilopochtli's wards."
"What?"I slid a little away from him. "How?"
"When you first started killing my kind, there was an uproar."He slid back too, giving me more space. "The Gods were furious that some human could kill one of us, could steal our immortality. But I wasn't furious."
"You weren't?"Nicholas crept into my lap and stretched out a paw so he was touching Thor's knee. I looked down at the feline bridging the gap between us and wondered if he was trying to tell me something.
"No."Thor smiled briefly at the the tiny paw. "I was intrigued. I've been fighting other gods on behalf of humans for so long without barely causing a stir, but you came stumbling into the middle of it all, and they took notice. You were what we were lacking; the human element. There we were, trying to fight for humanity without any humans even knowing there was a war going on, to begin with. The other gods wouldn't take us seriously because our most important allies didn't even believe we existed."
"So, when I joined the party, they got worried that the rest of the humans might catch on?"
"That and..."he frowned harder, his jaw clenching enough to cause his cheeks to flutter.
"And?"
"As you deduced earlier, most of our power comes from humans."Thor stared at me hard; his eyes gone very serious. "It makes it difficult for one god to kill another. Your human magic fuels us all and though we each use the power differently, at the heart of it, we're all the same. We can harm each other easily enough, but to bring a true death is complicated. It's almost like trying to kill yourself; it can be done, but not without a lot of mental anguish. The only time I've seen it managed was under the influence of mindless rage."
"So, if you killed a god, you'd suffer for it?"
"A little, but that's not the issue."He ran an unsteady hand through his hair. "Think of the power like a virus. Once someone is infected, that's it. The virus isn't going to attack another infected host; the damage has been done already. We're all infected and it's a symbiotic relationship now. The magic needs us as much as we need it. When the host is destroyed, the magic is released and will immediately search for a new host. But when all it finds is uninhabitable, it's forced to disburse. The disbursement can be unsettling for us, but it's minor. The problem isn't the after effects; it's the magic itself. It will try to stop us from killing another host either by misfiring or twisting our thoughts. You have to be very strong-willed or very determined to control the magic in such a situation, which is why strong emotions help."
"So, what am I; Typhoid Mary or something?"I laughed but quickly sobered when he didn't see the humor.
"No, you're not a carrier."He shook his head. "You're the disease. Sorry, that sounds horrible, but it's about as close as I can get to an accurate description. You're the source; we're merely vessels. In taking your power, we've ceased to be our own source and only the source can kill indiscriminately."
"Wait a minute."I felt my body grow still as the ramifications hit me. "You're saying that as a human, it's easier for me to kill Gods?"
"As a human and a witch,"he added. "You have more magic than the average human and you know how to use it; how to manipulate it and direct it. You're a lighthouse shining through the darkness, calling it home."
"Calling it home."I frowned. "Like when I pulled it from you."
"Now you see why you scare them,"he said. "Now you see why you draw us to you. The magic wants to return to its source."
"So, it's the source of your magic you're attracted to."I grimaced. Go figure. I knew all these hotties couldn't really be into me.
"Partly."His head tilted questioningly. "How is that any different from being attracted to someone because of the color of their hair or the curve of their breast?"His hand snaked out and swept up my side, just brushing the underside of said breast.
"Hey!"I slapped at him, and Thor pulled away laughing.
"I'm sorry."His eyes were beautiful when he laughed. "It's just funny that the infamous Godhunter would focus on the attraction part instead of the killing part."
"It wasn't easy for me to kill any of them."I frowned at his amusement.
"I didn't say it was easy, just easier."Thor's eyes flicked down a moment. "With that show you put on in Ull's apartment, you pretty much confirmed it; humans are our weakness."
"I guess God isn't the only one who can giveth and taketh away."I tapped the end of his long nose.
"I suppose not."He stroked Nick a bit before he looked back up at me. "You realize that what I just told you would cause many of my kind to label me a traitor?"
"Do you think they'd be right?"I took his hand from Nick and held it.
"No; I think I've finally behaved like a god."
"And why should a god care what another god thinks?"Oh crap, his hand felt good in mine.
"I don't,"Thor said as he smiled as he leaned closer, "it's just going to make family reunions awkward."
"Wait a minute."I stopped his mouth's descent with my pointer finger. "You never told me how you knew where I lived."
"You made them nervous."He kissed my fingertip. "But you made me curious. I watched for you; followed every trace of you. I researched you; what you did for a living, your history, where you lived, and the more I learned, the more I wanted to know. I started watching over you; following you when you hunted and making sure you were safe. I know your habits. I know your motivations. I even know where you buy your groceries. So, forgive me if I act too familiar with you, because I am. I know you, Vervain Lavine, but I want to know you even better, and I want you to know me too."
"You stalked me?"I made a little huffing sound of disbelief. "I have a god stalker?"
"Yeah."His lips twisted into a quick smile before descending toward mine again. "I guess you do."
"I'm oddly okay with that,"I murmured before I lifted my face to his.