Chapter 56

"Who is it?"I called in a sweet sing-song voice.
"Hades,"a low, gravelly response came through the door. "You've got my woman in there, and she's supposed to be with me."
I looked back at Persephone in shock as I realized that he was right. It was Winter (it's hard to remember seasons in Hawaii, give me a break). This was Hades' time of the year to be with her. I'd be a little pissed off if I only got three months out of every year with Thor, and he kept taking off on me too. I kind of felt bad for the guy so I got up and opened the door.
In my doorway stood a man of average build and height with dark brown hair and clean-cut looks. His smile was boyish, his hair carelessly tousled, and his clothing was casual but tailored. He seemed very normal until I looked into his eyes. They were plain brown in color but behind those average irises, a fire raged and blazed as if his irises were made of colored glass. I had the eerie feeling that if I looked any closer, I'd be staring straight into Hell.
If eyes are the windows to the soul, what did that say about Hades? I swallowed hard and smiled despite my unease.
"Hey, baby."Persephone came to the door; giving me the opportunity to compose myself. "I was just helping my friends out, but I guess I can go now."
Hades nodded to Persephone, but he kept his gaze on me; looking me up and down and then up again. His head tilted to the side sharply.
"There's something very familiar about you."His eyes narrowed.
"Yeah, everyone says that about her."Persephone went to cross the threshold at the same time that Hades tried to come inside. There was a little flash, and Hades jerked back; looking stunned.
"Your home is warded,"Hades glanced over to the gathering of gods in my living room and then back at me. "Who are you?"
"Look, babe."Persephone put her hands on her hips and faced off with him. "You said you were too busy to help me with my little projects so I can't tell you who she is. This is all top secret stuff that you'd already know if you were a good consort and supported me."
"Is this really that important to you, Bunny Nose?"Hades asked.
Coughs and sputters erupted from the group behind me, but I managed to keep a straight face. Bunny Nose pouted and crossed her arms.
"You know it is."She let out a harsh puff of breath. "Don't try to Bunny Nose your way out of this. Other goddesses have consorts who support them completely."She looked pointedly over her shoulder at Mrs. E. "I'm tired of you ignoring me for nine months and then smothering and controlling me the other three. I get enough of that from my mother."
Holy crap, there was about to be a lover's spat of divine proportions on my doorstep. I had to do something. What to do? What to do?
"Hades, please enter my home and be welcome,"I blurted.
Hades blinked at me and then smiled a surprisingly genuine smile. "Thank you"-he stepped inside—"and may I bring no harm with me."
"I'm Vervain."I held out a hand to him, and Persephone just gaped at us as Hades shook my hand excitedly.
"I'm Hades."He smiled widely and continued to shake my hand for a bit longer than necessary. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Vervain. I don't get introduced to many of Persephone's friends and this is the first time I've been invited into someone's home."
"That's just sad."I pondered Persephone for a moment and then looked back at him. "Okay, you two; follow me."I turned and started heading toward my art room, but I stopped when I realized they weren't behind me. "Come on; I don't have all night,"I snapped.
They shot a look at each other and then followed me. When we got inside the room, I indicated a chair for each of them, but I remained standing.
"You two have issues."I looked back and forth between them. "Now, normally that wouldn't be any of my business, but your issues are about to explode all over my living room. So, I'm going to help you out just this once."
"You think we need counseling?"Hades frowned at me.
"That would be a good start,"I said. "But I don't have time for that right now so it's going to be speed-counseling."
"Vervain, don't you think I'm right?"Persephone had a small whine to her voice. "He should be more supportive."
"No time for you guys to complain!"I waved a hand imperiously. "I'm going to tell you how it is and then you're going to do your best to fix it… somewhere else. Do you understand me, Bunny Nose?"I glared at Persephone, and she nodded; her face slack with shock, "How about you, Hot Stuff?"
Hades blinked rapidly but said, "I'm willing to try."
"Okay, great."I nodded curtly and mused a moment; trying to sort things through. "You're feeling abused and controlled."I pointed at Persephone, and she nodded. Then I pointed at Hades. "You're feeling neglected and horny."Hades looked as if he didn't know whether to laugh or slap me so he compromised and nodded too. "All right, Miss Sephy, here's a crucial question. Do you love him?"
"What do you mean?"Persephone looked even more shocked, if that was possible.
Hades just stared at her intently.
"Hades."I hardened my gaze at him. "You're going to have to step up here. I think our girl's a little shy. Do you love her?"
"Yes,"no hesitation from Hades. Hooray for the Lord of the Underworld.
Persephone nearly got whiplash looking over at Hades in disbelief. "You do?"
"Bunny Nose"-he kissed her cheek sweetly—"how could you ever doubt it?"
"I…"-she looked at me and then back at him—"you never said."
"I show my love for you all the time."Hades frowned. Typical man.
"Okay."I held up a hand. "Common male misconception. The truth is; women need words. We like to be shown how much you love us after you tell us how much you love us. So, now that we got that clear, Persephone, for the record, do you love Hades?"
"Yes,"she whispered.
Hades smiled so radiantly that I almost needed to shade my eyes.
"Bravo!"I held up my hands in the at last motion. "Now for the really difficult part. You"-I pointed at her again—"need to grow up and stand up to your mommy."
Hades hooted with laughter as Persephone sputtered, "I'm very mature."
Hades howled even louder until she smacked him.
"Don't argue with me."I shook a finger at her. "Take a pointer from Nike and just do it."
"What does the Goddess of Victory have to do with this?"Hades' face twisted up in confusion, and Persephone elbowed him.
"If you'd let me get a TV, you'd know what she's talking about."She stuck her tongue out at Hades.
"Thank you, Persephone,"I said, and she nodded; sweetly smug, until I continued, "that was very mature."
"Hey!"She pouted.
"Shu-u-ush!"I pointed at her again. "Tell your mama that you're a grown woman and then start acting like one; move away from home."
"What?"She looked like a doe caught in headlights.
"Either get your own place away from mommy dearest or move in with him."I pointed back at Hades, and he grinned at me as if I were the best thing since beer. "Don't get too happy with me yet, Sizzle Butt; you aren't entirely blameless."
Hades sat up straighter and raised both brows in surprise. "I'm the most loving of consorts,"he said defensively.
"Yeah, somehow I don't think your idea of loving and her idea of loving are the same."I looked at Persephone, and she nodded tightly.
"He wants sex all the time."She crossed her arms. "Sex, sex, sex. I'm sore by the time I go home."
"But Bunny Nose—"he started, but I cut him off.
"Shu-u-ush!"I narrowed my eyes at Hades. "Go buy a book on romance and try it out. You'll be surprised how far a little consideration gets you. If you love her, show some interest in her, not just her body, and give her a little space. No one likes to be smothered. Got it?"
They both nodded.
"So, what have we learned?"I quizzed them.
"I'm going to tell my mom to shove it, and I'll move in with Hades,"Persephone intoned dutifully.
"Really, Bunny Nose?"Hades hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead. "I'll try to be more supportive of you, and I'll romance you until you get fat on chocolate and the smell of roses makes you sick."
Persephone giggled and kissed him back. "I love you, Sizzle Butt."She giggled more.
I groaned and shook my head free of the knowledge that my joke nickname would be used in their sex talk for years to come.
"Okay, talk amongst yourselves; I'm going back to the others,"I said as I stepped out of the room.
They hardly even noticed when I left. The sound of smooching followed me down the hallway, but I entered the living room to complete silence and steady stares.
Thor stood and took my arm to ask, "Are they both still alive?"
"What do you mean?"I'm not sure what my face looked like, but I am sure it was horribly, totally, shocked.
"We didn't hear any screams, but we heard Hades laugh, and that can be just as bad."Pan grimaced.
"I gave them a bit of counseling, that's all."I shrugged.
"You what?"Thor sat back down. Hard.
"You gave relationship advice to the God of the Underworld and his reluctant bride?"Brahma spoke slowly, as if every word was difficult to pronounce.
"Well, I wouldn't call it advice so much as instructions."I sat down beside Thor.
"Instructions?"Teharon leaned forward.
"Yeah,"I huffed in surprise. "I think it worked too; they seemed pretty happy in there."A high pitched giggle came out of my art room, right on cue. "The plan is for Persephone to move in with Hades and in return, he'll be a better consort."
"Vervain,"Thor groaned.
"What?"I looked around, and they all had matching expressions of dismay.
"Demeter's going to throw a fit,"Ull seemed to say what everyone was thinking because they all nodded in agreement.
"So what?"I snorted. "She can't control her daughter forever."
"You don't know Demeter."Thor rubbed a hand over his face.
"Okay."I shrugged. "She throws a fit, so what? She can have her temper tantrum and then she can get over it."
"Demeter's pretty good at the tantrums."Ull scrunched up his face.
"Look, I know the story."I spread my hands. "I also know that Demeter's not actually the cause of the seasons. She can't keep the world in constant winter."
"Not the whole world, no,"Teharon's voice was a calming wind. "But she could probably keep a portion of it pretty cold. She's a single mom with hardly any friends and no family beside her daughter. Demeter is overly controlling when it comes to Persephone and her anger over her daughter leaving home for good could be disastrous."
"Whatchu talkin' bout, Willis?"I stared hard at Teharon, and he raised his brows at me.
"She's got weather magic,"he continued. "Demeter can alter the temperature, and Persephone can make things grow. They're a good team."
"And I'm Yoko,"I groaned. "I just broke up the band."