Chapter 62

The one thing I couldn't avoid was sleep and the one god who wasn't avoiding me was always waiting in my dreams.
"Have you decided yet?"Blue asked as he escorted me through a Victorian garden.
"Why do you always start with that?"I huffed.
I couldn't bring myself to care about anything. I knew I'd have to decide soon but for the first time since I started god-hunting, I didn't care. Let the world fall down around me if Thor didn't want me anymore. Thus are lovers selfish bastards.
"It's all that matters to me,"Blue said simply. See? Selfish.
"No, I don't want you,"it was the first time I'd answered him decisively.
"Not even to save your people?"He stopped and faced me in surprise.
It was midday in my dream, the Sun glinting off his hair like an obsidian helmet. His eyes were open wounds; his lips pressed into a thin blade. He was battle personified; completely out of place in the garden he'd brought me to. I looked around at the delicate flowers scenting the air with fragile perfume and felt only frustration.
"Why do you want a woman who doesn't want you?"I shot back. "I can't even understand why you'd want me in the first place. No woman is worth this much trouble."
"My life has become one long, blood-drenched nightmare. Even attraction is centered around blood for me. I wake up in the morning, and I consume blood. I make my plans of bloodshed, and I speak only to people who help me toward those ends. I feel a measure of happiness only when blood fills my mouth or stains my hands."He looked down at his hands as if they were still stained. "Then in the midst of the nightmare, you appeared. You challenged me; you tore at my perceptions and beliefs. You drew from me more than bloodlust. Then you left, and I was alone in the nightmare again."
Blue ran an elegant hand through his thick hair; rubbing at his scalp as if it were an annoying barrier to the thoughts he wanted to share. For a moment, I forgot about Thor. I let go of my anger at myself for ruining the best relationship I'd ever had. I let the bitterness over the shackle my life had become fall away and thought about how equally trapped Blue might feel.
"It wasn't the same, though. You changed the nightmare with your presence. I began to think of things other than blood, and I began to remember things I used to want."He took my hand. "You're my equal, my balance. You're courage and humor, beauty and ferocity. You think me cruel, but you know deep down that you kill as easily as I. We do it to protect what we believe in. In that, we are the same."
"No."I pulled my hand out of his. "We're nothing alike."
"The truth can be harsh."Blue turned and sat down; a stone bench appearing beneath him just in time. "You think that you love the Viking because he is so honorable, but he only seems honorable to you because he fights on your side. Thor deserted Odin when his father needed him the most. He leaves him to fight for the humans while Odin is ridiculed for Thor's desertion. Where is the honor in betraying your own father? As in all things"-Blue spread his hands out—"it is only perspective."
"Thor did not desert his father."I swallowed past the lump that formed in my throat every time I thought about Thor. "Odin deserted him. Don't talk to me about perspective. Either way you look at it, you're trying to kill as many humans as possible for nothing more than power. I kill to prevent that."
"We shall agree to disagree."Blue patted the bench beside him, his mood shifting like the wind. "Why don't we talk about something else for once? Come, sit. I won't bite."He laughed warmly. "Let me tell you of my childhood."
I couldn't help it, I was intrigued, and frankly, I was tired of fighting. I went to the bench and sat down, my full red skirts spreading out around me to drape into his lap. He stroked the fabric; pulling it through his fingers pensively. I continued to watch his hands while he spoke.
"My parents, my baby sister, and I became gods in the valley of Mexico,"Blue began. "I happened across a nomadic tribe. They were a strong, resilient people who I sensed would serve my family well. So, I decided to become their patron. I led them to an island; telling them to build on the spot where they found an eagle perched on a cactus, devouring a snake."
"Seriously?"I shook my head and huffed a laugh. "Why's it always have to be so complicated? Why couldn't you have just said; Build over there?"
"Humans expect it to be complicated."Blue laughed with me. "You don't believe anything great is possible without conditions, and we wouldn't want to disappoint you."
"How kind."I grimaced.
"I could have let them wander."Blue shrugged. "Instead, I led them to the perfect place, and they built Tenochtitlán which means near the cactus."
"Creative."I smirked.
"Another thing humans are good at,"he shot back with a twinkle in his eye, "stating the obvious."
"Oh, nice comeback."I nodded approvingly. Was I actually enjoying this? No, of course not.
"To this day, Mexico uses an image of the cactus-perched eagle devouring a snake as its National Emblem,"pride oozed from his voice.
"Thanks for the history lesson."I rolled my eyes, completely unimpressed. Or at least trying to be.
The story did more than impress me, though. It brought home how large a role the Atlanteans had played in the lives of humans. How much they'd altered our existence; placing their mark on my race like a brand. The Gods had twisted us for their amusement and selfish purposes; playing with us without a thought to how their actions may alter our race forever. Of course, these were all things I already knew, but the fresh reminder was a bandage torn off a healing wound. I felt the rage rise like fresh blood, but Blue started to speak of his chosen people before I could unleash my fury on him.
Blue spoke so warmly of their skills, their strength, and their love of beauty that my anger melted away. There was love in his voice; a deep endless admiration as he told me about the ingenious way they expanded the island. How they made dry land from marsh; with retaining walls and willow trees to prevent erosion. How they loved games and flowers. How they celebrated life with feasts and dancing. He was like a proud parent when he told me how his people had made their little island into one of the greatest cities of their time; home to over fifty-thousand Aztecs.
"Is it true you had four-hundred brothers?"I suddenly remembered what the God Squad had told me about Blue's family.
"My father was a very virile man."He smiled wide enough to reveal the tips of his fangs. "There weren't quite that many of them, but it was close. They were all my father sons, but they had different mothers. We have long lives as you know, and Father wasn't monogamous until he met my mother."
"She had you and your sister?"I asked, but his face fell, and I instantly regretted prying. "I'm sorry. I heard that she died."
"My father's other sons were angry with him for settling on my mother and naming me as his heir. He acknowledged all of them but it wasn't enough. They wanted to be the greatest of the new Gods. They craved the power he passed down to me."
I suddenly remembered why Blue had killed his brothers, and I blanched but I still asked him, "Did they really murder your mother?"
"They attacked my father's temple,"Blue's voice had turned into a careful monotone. "This was before Gods began to create territories in the God Realm, and we had lived in the pyramid complex of Teotihuacán. My brothers had brought armies with them, and although they didn't overtake us, they were able to break through our walls. I . . . I was too late, too slow to save my family."
I gaped at Blue as tears began to run down his cheeks. His elegant hands lifted to cover his face, and I wasn't able to withstand those silent tears. I reached out to him, and he flowed into my arms with a sigh. He rested his head on my shoulder; shuddering as he let go. A tide of misery left him as he clung to me; carrying me out to deeper waters with him. My own father's death paled in comparison to Blue's loss, but it linked me to him nonetheless; a shared pain reaching through my mind to his.