Chapter 18

Avril pushed the scrambled eggs and bacon around on her plate. Usually, breakfast was her favorite part of the day, but not today. Of all days, today Avril felt especially drained. It didn't help that she stayed up past midnight the night before overthinking a million different scenarios of how today was going to turn out. All she craved was a warm bed, a pillow or two, and a comforting blanket. All she could think about was sleeping and how it was easily the favorite of her hobbies. With these thoughts in mind, she mentally calculated the hours until she was back home and able to dive into bed.
Home. Her brain flashed the word in red lights. It was so strange that she was able to consider the Lynne house home in such a short space of time.

"Are you nervous?" Trish glanced over at her. At Avril's request, she'd eaten breakfast with her to provide her with some company.
Avril took a second to really think about that question. Was she nervous? Is that the proper way to describe the knots in her stomach and the way her legs begged not to be commanded to move?

"I am not sure. I guess I will know when I get to class." She answered truthfully. Avril was beginning a new chapter in her life today, she would officially be a psychology student and in some short years, she would be a working adult. The very thought terrified her. She had no idea what it took to be an adult. As it stood she was already failing at adulting. She didn't even know how to make her own decisions for crying out loud.
Trish smiled. " Don't worry so much. Before you know it, you'll get accustomed to the differences. " she gave Avril a reassuring pat on the back as she got up from the table.

Whenever Trish was around, it was almost as if she didn't lack a motherly figure, it made her relax. Although, since that day Trish returned to pick up Avril at Sarah's, Avril no longer heard a word from Thomas.
It had been almost two weeks and he was still gone. She'd wanted to know how he was and thought of calling but her nerves would talk her out of it and instead she'd ask Trish for an update. It wasn't as if she got enough information to ease her mind since she would hear the same words...."He's doing fine."

"When you're finished, I'll give you a ride to school," Trish commented as she cleared the table.

"You don't have to do that. I can take a taxi." Avril responded almost instantly. She felt guilty at having these people go out of their way to accommodate her. She didn't want to take advantage of their kindness.

"Don't be ridiculous. It's your first day, I am dropping you off." Her words giving the effect of finality and for the second time that morning Avril was reminded of Thomas.

******

Trish dropped off Avril, looking as she disappeared from sight. She smiled to herself, hoping Avril's day passed by well enough. She was really thankful for Avril's presence, it made her less lonely and somehow she felt as though it would have a good effect on Thomas.
Just then her cell rang. The caller ID giving the person away.

"Thomas, dear."

" Hi, I had a few seconds so thought I would call to check-in." He responded. Trish smiled. She'd basically raised Thomas, there was no one who knew him better.

"You mean you called to find out about Avril." She replied knowingly.

"How is she?" He questioned. His voice dropping an octave.

"She does have access to a cell you know," Trish responded humorously.

"I didn't want to bother her." he exhaled. There had been countless times he dialed her number and lost his nerve on the first ring.

"You won't. She asks about you as well and I don't really like being the middle man in these situations." Trish commented.

"What situations?" Thomas was puzzled.

Trish laughed. It was classic Thomas for not even recognizing his own feelings.
"She is fine." Trish gave Thomas the same response she gave Avril. Hopefully, they tire of the vague descriptions and take matters into their own hands.

***

Avril trudged to the food court. All she could think about was food. She was starving. She'd had two courses back to back but thankfully that was it for the day. She planned to calm the monster raging war in her stomach and go home. She already had lots to do.
As soon as Avril saw the lines to most of the food places she sighed and headed of to another direction. She found a bench under a Leviathan tree and decided to wait until the lines got shorter.
She pulled out her cell and decided to text Sarah. She felt someone's presence. They sat next to her on the bench. Her body instantly stiffened. She was shy of strangers.

A bit anti-social, not because she didn't like people it was just that she never found it easy to converse smoothly with any and everyone.
She peered up slowly to see Nate smiling at her. Oh, how she wished it was a stranger instead.

"Hi." She replied somberly, although it wasn't her intention. She saw his face contort, his brows furrowing, his lip thinning as if he was considering something.
"What's with that expression?" She questioned.

"You don't sound like the usual upbeat Avril." He told her, his eyes intent.
Avril had been avoiding all possible contact with Nate since that night he'd introduced her to his girlfriend. She wanted nothing more than to be friends with him and not have her silly emotions get in the way but as it turned out she wasn't as unaffected as she wanted to be. She was still a slave to her emotions and until she could push them aside she didn't want to be in close proximity to Nate.

"I am sorry." She replied with a smile.

"It's fine. It just made me concerned that something was wrong." He appeared genuinely concerned.
Avril clenched her hands at her sides. She really wished that he stopped being so nice to her. It made things so much harder.

"No need. I am good." She tried to reassure him.
He smiled then. "How was your first day?" He questioned, his mood improving.

"Honestly, a bit overwhelming. I am a bit worried." She was honest. She didn't know if this career path was the one for her.

"Don't worry, it starts off that way. It's new so it will take some time to get used to." He comforted her.
All she could do was smile.

"I am not the slightest bit worried, so you shouldn't be. You're one of the smartest and dedicated persons I know. " he gave her the brightest smile she'd ever seen.

"You know that based on the work relationship we have?" She replied sarcastically. Her lips curving into a smile, her features expressing the view that she didn't believe him. Avril and Nate were never in the same classes, their interests were opposing in terms of school.

"I know we met through mutual friends but we have been talking to each other for over two years and plus people talk." He said as matter of fact.
Avril's mind hung on to his last words, 'plus people talk'.

"What do you mean about people talk?" She questioned her features turning serious. Her eyes darkening.

"It's nothing...bad." He replied carefully.

"Expand please." Avril prompted. Her mood instantly changing.

"It's nothing really, one of our mutual friends had told me about you when we just started talking." He was vague and Avril had a feeling it was on purpose.

"Why would they tell you anything about me?" she questioned. Her mind a maze of questions.

"Well, I had asked..." he began slowly.

"If you wanted to know something about me, you should have asked me," Avril responded hotly. This conversation triggering every nerve in her body.

"I know that I do. But I needed to know before I made a mistake." His words stopped. It seemed as if he hadn't intended to mention that.

"A mistake?" Avril repeated the words as if she had never heard it before.

"Yes, I needed to know what you were about before I made a mistake. It's not important." He tried to brush it off. "So tell me about your classes." he attempted to deviate from the conversation.

"Nate..." Avril spoke between clenched teeth. "What mistake?"

"Avril...." He was hesitant, his eyes pressed shut and he exhaled.

"Tell me. If your afraid that I will judge you, don't be." She tried to convince him. She was barely able to convince herself.
She heard him sigh.

"I am attracted to you Avril." The words seemed to send out an external force that paralysed her. Her heart stopped for less than a second and her entire body shivered.

"But- we want different things, so it won't work that's why we decided that I shouldn't do anything." He quickly followed up his confession before she could respond. He looked at her, trying to gauge her reaction but Avril was poker-faced.

"We, as in you and our mutual friend?" Avril asked the one question nagging at the back of her mind. Nate nodded his assent to this question.

"So, you and someone else made a decision about my life without involving me in it?" The very idea was ludicrous. She didn't even have a say. She felt her heart going faster and faster. Her breaths shallow.

"It wouldn't have worked Avril. You're an innocent. I believe I told you once that I like the physical aspects of relationships." He tried to justify his actions.
So it all came down to sex. Avril couldn't believe this. She knew she had no experience and she knew that Nate needed sex in relationships but some part of her thought... No, hoped that if he did like her they could compromise.
How cruel was this! The fates really outdid themselves here. It would have been better if he didn't like her then she wouldn't have felt as if she wasn't good enough for him to at least try with her.

"I understand. Truth is, I am attracted to you as well but we really do want different things." She basically repeated his words. What was the point in having an opinion now? She wasn't given the opportunity when he discussed what was best for her with someone else.

"You want a meaningful relationship, I don't want that emotional side." He continued with his points. Avril nodded. Not as an agreement but as a means of ending this conversation.

"How about we get something to eat? You must be starving." He offered, rising from the bench.

Avril couldn't get her heart to calm down nor could her body maintain a temperature high enough to eradicate the cold spots showering her body. The monster in her stomach calm.

"I am not hungry. I am actually waiting for Trish to pick me up." She lied, trying extremely hard to maintain a friendly face.

"You want me to wait with you?" He moved to occupy the space next to her once more.

"No, I think I see her entering." Avril rose from her seat. "I'll see you." She walked off after giving him a smile she didn't quite feel.
She waited until he was out of sight and walked over to get a taxi.