Chapter 46

Trish twisted her nose up at Thomas as she placed his breakfast in front of him. He hadn't even said a word since he sat down at the table. She placed her hands on her hips and stared down at him. Her shadow overpowering the light around him, he was barely able to see the food on the table. She towered over him until she was certain she'd caught his attention.

He sighed and without moving his gaze from his food he asked, "something wrong?" he squinted his eyes to determine to see what he was about to eat. Giving up, he stuck his fork in and brought whatever it was up to his mouth. He didn't know if Trish was losing her touch, or if his lack of taste was due to his fight with Avril. No matter the cause, the food felt and tasted like cardboard in his mouth.

Thomas' query was seen as an invitation for Trish to take up residence in the chair beside him. "Avril asked me to find her another room." She commented, eyeing him cautiously. She'd been washing dishes early this morning when Avril came down. Her eyes were red and swollen. She didn't have the heart to question her for fear that she may cry again.

Thomas had stopped chewing midway. If he didn't have an appetite then, imagine for now. The food wrapped around his tongue, he couldn't swallow. His throat closing up, restricting any attempt he might have made.

He pulled a napkin from the table and passed it over his mouth to remove the contents. "Which room did you give her?" His voice didn't sound like his own.

"She asked me not to tell you." Trish expelled the words carefully. She was second-guessing her idea to ask Thomas about this. He also seemed affected. The words were at the tip of her tongue, she needed to know what happened, but she hoped that he would tell her without her having to ask.

"I see." He droned as he started picking at his food again. If she didn't want him to know then fine. He wasn't in the habit of begging.

Well, that was a bust! Trish shook her head.

"What's going on between the two of you?" Trish skipped to the point. This was getting ridiculous. They were in the same house, it was easy for them to have a conversation. Were they going to wait until Thomas went off again?

Thomas didn't answer. He himself didn't know what was going on. He wanted desperately to have her looking at him again but she wouldn't. She didn't even want him to know what room she was staying in and he was not about to go against her wishes.

"Thomas..." Trish, he breathed the words out in plain annoyance. He had no strength to hide it. He didn't want to talk about this with her, or with anyone. He himself was still trying to wrap his head around it.

"Things aren't good right now." He said, knowing she would never let it rest. The full weight of this weight dropping onto him like a wall of bricks.

"Wel,l when you love someone, you make things work," Trish said comfortingly, placing a hand on his shoulder. She hated seeing either of them in this state. What could be so bad that they couldn't work it out?

"I don't think I am ready to do the whole love thing again." He growled. At the moment, his heart felt sore and he felt aimless, he didn't want to be in love, it made people irrational. He wanted to enjoy his time with the woman whose company he enjoyed, that was it.

Trish paused for a second. Her hand falling away from his shoulder. "So what exactly are you doing with Avril?" Her tone turned heated. She knew he could be cold but she thought--no, she'd hoped that this time, he was being serious. Avril was young, she would be nursing scars her entire life if her first serious relationship made her feel as though she wasn't good enough.

"What do you mean?" He asked, barely paying attention to her change.

"If you don't plan on loving her, then don't waste her time, Thomas," Trish said sternly.

"Maybe, I am wasting her time." He said to himself. He pushed off his seat and walked away to his study.

He didn't want to let her go, he felt deeply for her, he did love her..at least he thought so, but at the moment he couldn't seem to make her happy. This disheartened him, perhaps he shouldn't hold her back. He had to be rational and think about the best course for them both, and at the moment, their relationship was causing more harm than good. Not just on her side but on his too.

He ran his fingers through his hair. His fist coming down hard onto his desk.

***
Avril felt what little strength she had left in her knees drain out of her as she heard those words.

I don't think I am ready to do the whole love thing again.

She hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but it seemed like a recent skill of hers. She couldn't help but use that line to confirm all of her fears. Thomas did love Lilith that's why he hadn't the capacity to love her. Avril breathed. The pieces of the puzzle coming together. If Thomas couldn't make a decision then she would have to. She couldn't keep someone trapped with her all the while they were unhappy.

Yes, she loved him and he would always be a part of her but she couldn't stay where she was unwanted.

She wiped away the tears from her cheek angrily. People always said that first love's never last, she should have listened and been more cautious but he made it too easy to fall in love.

She steadied her breathing, steeled her reserve as she went off to school. She had to focus on her future. Thomas was grown and he knew what his future looked like, she didn't. She couldn't let her goals and ambition be sidetracked.

***
Thomas sat on the edge of his bed as he scrolled through his email.

There was a faint knock at his door. He called out for them to come in. He didn't think it was anyone but Trish, especially since Avril was mad at him.

"I heard you're going back tomorrow." she shoved her head in a tiny crack she made.

He immediately gazed at the source of the sound. He was on his feet before he knew it.

"Avril." He said. He resisted his urge to walk closer to her. He didn't want to scare her away.

She immediately pushed the door fully open and walked up to him. She gazed up into his eyes and then she fell into him. She buried her face in his chest and her arms latched around him. His arms closed around her instinctively.

He felt her snuggle closer into him, her body shaking slightly. She breathed in his scent and told herself to always remember the way he made her feel...the happy way. That was all she wanted to remember.

"What's wrong?" His voice was a caress. He used a hand to stroke her hair. The feel of her against, calming his mind.

She took a few seconds to stop crying, she pulled slightly away from him. "I just wanted to say goodbye." She was trying for the tears the cease, but the trembling of her lower lips and the moisture in her eyes making it difficult to forget the idea of tears.

"I'll be back." He said as he held her face in his palms.

"I still wanted to tell you." She was adamant.

He couldn't bear to see her like this, he lowered his lips to hers.

That had done it. The mere touching of their lips had ignited a fire between them that in seconds all clothes were shed and on the floor. Thomas carried her over to the bed. All the emotions they had been hovering releasing themselves as they devoured each other.

***
Thomas was on cloud nine. After so many months, the mission they had set out on was complete. Not only was it complete but it had been successful, they had managed to rescue hundreds of victims and remove mounds of drugs and weaponry off the market.

He was happy to be done. But happier to go back home to Avril. They hadn't spoken since that last night they spent together, he knew she would be done with exams by now, so he could have her to himself.

"You must be relieved, to be done." Lilith cooed.

"I am. I have something for you." He fished out a letter from his jacket and gave it to her.

"What's this?" She asked as she began opening it.

"It's a writ." He commented.

"You're reporting me!" She said incredulously.

"Because of your treason previously you had been destined for punishment but was excused on certain terms. You violated the terms of staying out of my personal life." Thomas said unemotionally.

"You can't do this." She was trembling.

"Oh, I can. You purposely provoked a civilian in my circle, which qualifies as a violation. I wish you all the best in the future." He smirked as he walked off.

She would have to face a banishment period, after which she could only come back to the community from the bottom ranks.

Austin grinned as he saw Lilith's face. It served her right. She had gotten away until now with her antics.

***
Austin pulled up in front of Thomas' home. Both men breathing a sigh of relief. Another mission had passed and they were both still standing.

"Happy to be back?" Austin questioned. A knowing grin on his face.

"I am a bit anxious to see, Avril," Thomas said without thinking.

Austin paused. "Didn't she tell you?" His voice lowered.

"What?" Thomas turned serious. "Tell me what?" his voice became insistent. The look on Austin's face filling him with dread.

"She went back home," The words rolled of Austin's tongue in slow motion.

"So I have a longer wait," Thomas said on a sigh. It didn't matter, he was free now and he had no problem waiting to see her again.

"No, Thomas." Austin lowered his gaze. He didn't know what was going on but he hated being the one having to tell Thomas. "She said she was never coming back," Austin continued. He had assumed that Avril had told Thomas. He had assumed that they made alternate arrangements for their relationship.

"She said that?" Thomas couldn't believe what he was hearing. This had to be a joke.

Thomas' mind transported him back to the last night they spent together. Her words echoing in his head.

She had wanted to tell him goodbye. He thought it was a send-off to his mission. He didn't know she was actually telling him goodbye.

He felt a sudden pain across his chest. His life suddenly lacked color. He exited the car without another word to Austin, his mind unable to register Austin's words to him. He stumbled into the house his mind and body searching for signs of her. Her room was empty, nothing in it suggested she was ever there.

He fell to his knees in her room. His eyes stinging. Every spot he looked at conjured an image of her doing something. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"How could she leave?" the words came out in groan. The pain in his chest translating to his entire body.

"No!" he stood up. "I am going after her." he declared. Trish squeezed his shoulder and he looked at her.

"She doesn't want that," Trish said softly, tears forming in her eyes. Thomas shook his head, he didn't believe that.

"She left this for you." Trish handed him an envelope and left. She couldn't bear to see him this way, the same way she couldn't bear Avril being hurt by the decision she made.

Thomas walked over to her bed and sat down. He tore the envelope open and read the letter inside.

*Dear Thomas,

*I know this was a pretty crappy thing for me to do, but I didn't want to have you worried or affected while on your mission. I hope you can understand my reason for the way you found out that I have left.

*Our relationship has been beautiful. I have been so happy in the time I spent with you and your family. However, it's time for me to say goodbye to you. I know you can understand how hard this is for me, but we haven't been seeing eye to eye and it's obvious we think and want differently.

*Let's meet again on good terms in the future. However, I must ask that we remain distant friends. I think we will both benefit from being apart. Please do not try to contact me, I wish for us to end our relationship without bad words and tears.

*All my love,

*Avril.


The letter fell to the floor and he squeezed his eyes shut. It was the end. He had screwed up the only thing that made him happy. He looked around the room as he exited. He had to respect her wishes.

It was the end of him and Avril.