Epilogue Part 1

Austin scanned the room, it was still being filled by his guests. But somehow they were faceless. His mind was focused on searching for particular guests, his palms sweating. The thought of his much-anticipated guests deciding to skip out on his invitation alarmed him.
He couldn't help but recall the events that transpired two years ago. The time hadn't seemed to move that much. But now that he'd thought about it, a lot had changed over those two years.

He recalled Thomas, his closest friend, finding out that the woman he loved had left her place in his life vacant. He'd only had a letter as his final goodbye. She'd asked him to accept her disappearance but Thomas hadn't simply taken the news of Avril's departure as a done deal. He'd given her a month away from him until he visited her at her internship.
Avril hadn't expected to see him, after all she hadn't heard from him in an entire month, not to mention that he hadn't tried contacting her after he had found out that she left, but to be fair Thomas thought she needed time to miss him. He thought she needed space. He gave her what she asked for.
Avril had stopped dead in her tracks when she saw him, Thomas even swore he saw her tear up a bit but a second later she appeared composed.

"What are you doing here?" She questioned as she walked him towards a bench. She turned back looking at who was around as if she was ashamed to be seen with him.

"I came to see you." He said matter of factly. A few moments passed between them, the silence a symbol of how awkward it was to be around each other. This made Avril ache. The man she could so easily touch, kiss and fight with just a month ago was the same man she couldn't even say two sentences to. This was why she had preferred to never see him again. She didn't want her memories of him to be overpowered by this newfound communication.

"But, in the letter, I asked-" she began, her eyes unable to meet his. Her fingers intertwined. The emotions she felt while writing that letter resurfaced. She didn't want to leave him, but there were reasons. They were not compatible, their arguments showed that to her. He had so much to figure out and let go of.
In this time, she'd learned to be without him. It was the hardest thing she ever did. She was finally able to go through an entire without crying. Now that she saw him again she knew that newfound peace was short-lived.

"Come back to me, Avril." Those were the words that came out. He had planned an entire speech, one that illustrated his emotions for her, his desire for her but in this moment of her being so close to him he couldn't delay any longer. A month without her was torture. He didn't want to face even a second longer. He needed her.

"I can't." He swore he heard her voice crack or was that his last bit of hope shattering? He was so sure that the reason she asked not to see him was to stop herself from going back. Now he didn't know what she thought.

"Can't or won't?" He felt himself becoming irritated. He didn't understand why she couldn't come back to him.

"I have my reasons." She said, her eyes turning sad.

"Explain them to me. " he pleaded.
Avril sighed. She had so many reasons. So many...but she was scared that her resolve would crack. She loved this man more than she thought was ever possible but that didn't mean they were right for each other.

"I don't think you're ready for us to be in a committed relationship." She said, her eyes averting.

"What?" He was puzzled.
Then Avril noticed some of her fellow interns were staring at them...she shook her head...they were staring at Thomas.

"I have realised that, we are destructive to each other. We want different things." She tried to explain.

"No. We don't. I want you, Avril." He took her hand in his. This time he was sure of the tears blanketing her eyes.

"You're not ready Thomas. That whole situation with Lilith made me think you still have unresolved feelings towards her. Those things need to be sorted before you can be with anyone, not just me." The thought of Lilith and Thomas making her queasy.

"I don't want anyone if it's not you." He was pleading with her. How could she not know he loved her? How could she question him? "I don't care about her, Avril. I care about you." He continued when she didn't say anything. He could feel her moving away from him.

"I don't think you know how much she affected you, and even if you can't figure that out then we can't move forward Thomas." she had to keep her resolve. At this point, if she and Thomas sparked up another relationship it would be doomed to end.
He didn't know what to say. All he ever wanted was Avril, how could she sit there and tell him that he didn't know what he felt. He knew what his heart wanted, he was the only one who could feel his heart screaming in his chest. How could she assume that she knew?

"I can tell from your expression that you don't understand what I mean." Nothing had changed. The more she sat with him, the more it became apparent. He was yet to understand how or why she was upset at him hiding the past from him. She had to find out things from someone else, he'd made a fool out of her and he didn't understand. "But I just think you need to focus on yourself and sort out your feelings, even if they are feelings of resentment." She paused. This time she held onto his hand. "I am sorry, Thomas. I can't be with you. I want someone who is honest with me and who is ready to invest in me."
The words burning a hole in her throat as she said it. She couldn't see anyone else but him. She couldn't see herself wanting or loving another man the way she loved him. In the past month, she told herself that he wasn't as magnificent as she remembered. She was fooling herself. He was more than her imagination was capable of holding onto.

Thomas could feel his eyes moistening. These were not the words he wanted to hear.

"I do love you." Her voice broke and a stray tear trailed down her cheek. She needed him to know that. "But-"
He raised a finger then. He couldn't bear to hear anything else.
He rose from the bench, Avril following suit almost automatically.

"You don't want to be with me. " he finished her sentence looking at her for some clue, some hope that it wasn't so. He sighed as he gazed into her eyes. He bent closer and pulled her head towards him. He placed a lingering kiss on her forehead.

"I love you." He whispered. He let her go.

"Goodbye, Avril." He turned and left. His entire body resisting the urge to go back to her, to beg her to take him back but he couldn't. He could see that she was trying so hard to keep her resolve and stick to her guns, he couldn't use her emotions against her. She wanted to move on. He would give her that opportunity, he should do at least that. Perhaps, it could make up for the wrong he did.

Austin was driven out of his remembrance when his mother linked her arm in his.

"Darling, aren't you going to speak to your guests?" She questioned dotingly.
Austin smiled. "I don't think anyone is excited about speaking to me."
His mother gave him an amused look. "Stop sulking." She advised as she glided off to make conversation.
Austin gazed over the room again. His spirits sinking even lower.

"Looking for someone?"
Austin felt a wave of relief wash over his body.

"Thomas my man." He turned to one of his special guests. "I didn't think you'd come." He relieved his worst fear for the night. God knows he had many, but for tonight he had to push them aside.
Thomas had been drowning himself in work for the past two years. He was hardly ever free. Recently he took over his father's position in the company as Tobias retired. He wasn't much in the field, but he made damned sure he was always occupied.

"I would not miss such a rare opportunity to actually visit Austin Cyner's home." Thomas joked. Austin was extremely private. He tried to keep his work separate from his family.

"I am glad you made it." He didn't even get to say those words properly when his mother wondered over. She adored Thomas.
Seeing Thomas smiling and laughing made Austin remember a time when laughter was a foreign concept to Thomas.

It was a year after Avril and Thomas had said goodbye. Thomas was yet to resume ownership of his natural carefree behavior. He was very much using company resources to keep an eye on Avril.
He had found out that she had been spending a little extra time with another member of the opposite sex. He knew that Avril and Austin kept in contact which led him to question his friend on this matter.

"You still talk to Avril right?" He had asked out of the blue that day.
Austin had been taken aback, his response coming in slow motion.

"Yes."

"Is she seeing someone?" His gaze was steely.

"I don't think this is a-" Austin tried to avoid the topic.

"Just please answer me." Thomas cut him off.
Austin sighed. "She grew up with him. He is her best friends brother. He had feelings for her for a long time, he confessed to her so she decided to give him a chance."
Thomas nodded absently.

"Is she happy?" He asked without looking at Austin.

"Thomas, I really don't think this is a healthy conversation."

"Is.She.Happy?" He repeated.

"Thomas." Austin tried to deter him once more.

"Answer the question." Thomas was adamant.

"Thus far." Austin sighed.

"That's good." Thomas seemed somewhat shaken up as he exited the room. From that day, he ceased keeping an eye on her and her name was never mentioned again.

However, her mark was never gone. Thomas looked at no woman for these two years. His mind, body and soul only craving her.
Austin was brought back to reality again as Thomas set of to get some drinks. In the midst of the crowd he had lost track of Thomas for a bit, noticing that he was being more of a host than Austin himself.
Austin walked out of the stuffy room onto the balcony. Hand in pocket and his other hand resting on the balcony. He could hardly hear the chatter permeating from inside, it just sounded like whispering and white noise.
He allowed the night air to dance around him, cooling the fire in his veins. He needed to accomplish what he'd set out to do. He was well aware that there are factors out of his reach.

"You should leave the escaping to me." Austin felt her presence. To close for comfort.
He didn't bother casting his eyes on her. He knew she would be perfect and he couldn't allow himself to be distracted.

"I am not escaping." He responded.
She furrowed her brows in disagreement, but he didn't notice.

"Is something bothering you?" She asked candidly. He couldn't help the smirk that covered his face. He was growing wickedly accustomed to her bluntness.

"Why would you reach that conclusion?" He goaded.

"You're brooding again." She twisted her face at him.

"Again?" This caught his attention and he turned his gaze to her. He was not accustomed to people seeing him as the serious type. He always tried to maintain a vision of amusement. It was not difficult either, he generally wasn't bothered by much.

"You have been lost in your own world for days." She said, her eyes moving to his lips.
He didn't think she noticed. He turned his attention away again trying not to remember the heated kiss they shared yesterday. A mistake she had coined it.
He wasn't so sure.

"I am worried about tonight going as planned. I fear that some variables may not turn out as planned." He drove his fingers through his hair.
She smiled then. "Maybe you should stop thinking about people and situations as if they were some math problem."

"I can predict with math." He said.

"People aren't predictable. If they were you won't be so troubled." She observed.
Austin considered this. Maybe he had gone about this the wrong way.

"I don't think you need to worry anymore." She placed a palm on his shoulder. His body very aware of her touch. It took him a while to register what she said.
He gazed at her questioningly, she smiled and nodded towards the room. He turned around and saw her.