Chapter 31

At the moment it felt as if anything would be more interesting...even watching paint dry. This was the extent of awkwardness between these ex-lovers. Trish wanted to be civil but unattached but clearly, the product was just plain cold. She didn't know how to fix that, she didn't know if she wanted to. Did Tobias deserve to be welcomed back with open arms after all these years? She was grappling with this question at having him so close to her once again.

Tobias was rusty in the art of defrosting the woman he deeply cared for. As a result, he dared not speak too rashly for fear of upsetting her or worse yet, of her leaving. That's also assuming that ever did have that art of defrosting her. Actually, he was beginning to question his capabilities as their past interactions flooded his senses.

"So, I assume you came to check up on Thomas and to observe Avril." She had finally broken the silence, her voice, however, stern and unyielding. Joyous for the opportunity, Tobias grabbed it without so much as a second thought.

"You still know me so well." He responded lightly. The words sparked remembrance of a time where knowing each other was one of the best things in their relationship...now it was just a reminder of time and love lost. Trish scoffed. "Give it another few years and we'll see," she muttered. Tobias was struck dumb.

"I-uh."

"What do you think of Avril?" Trish questioned, hoping to drive away the flashing scenes in her head and. Tobias was relieved for the switch in conversation. He'd been caught off-guard.

"I like her, she is so much better than that other one he wanted before..." Tobias reminisced a time his son had almost made a huge mistake. He always had to remind himself that children grew when given the opportunity and chances to make their own mistakes. Back then, he's been an adamant father breathing down his's son's throat to make another decision. That had nearly cost him his relationship with Thomas. Now, he realized it was up to Thomas to decide without pressure and expectation.

"Careful not to mention her name around Thomas," Trish warned. "He doesn't want to be reminded of her."

Tobias sighed and shook his head. His son had once fallen for a woman not suited for any respectable man. She was charming on the surface and did possess some beauty but deeper, she was manipulative, caring for no one but herself... It happened that the no one she put herself in front of was no other than Thomas. It was then he had realised her for what she was, a woman who had no regard for human connection. It was all a game for her. Thomas decided to live as if she had never existed now. Which included him changing the house numbers, cell phones, email accounts and everything that would give her access to his life again. Needless to say, she did try, but Thomas has never faltered in his decision.

"I am glad she is gone." Tobias breathed. The memories reminding him that their lives could have been so different had Thomas not realized the truth behind that woman.

"As am I. Avril is a wonderful girl, she has made me so happy since she came here." Trish explained, her demeanor softening at the mention of Avril and Thomas.

Tobias was quiet for a second. The fact that Trish adored this girl made him all the more confident that she was right for his son. He wanted to extend his gratitude towards Trish, for taking care of his family all these years, for choosing to stay despite how things ended between them He was grateful for her affection but what escaped his lips were.

"I have missed you."

Trish stilled, her fingers no longer able to grip her fork.

"Its been years." Her voice was shaking now. The words forcing to escape through her gritted teeth.

"I know." He responded regretfully, and he did regret. He'd lost so many years, years he couldn't get back. His own mortality and the ones of the people he cared about smacked him hard when he heard of Thomas's injury.

"Years, Tobias. I haven't heard from you in so long, you always communicated to me through your secretary and now you claim that you miss me? " She said incredulously.

"There hasn't been a day that has gone by that I wasn't thinking of you." He reached for her hand on the table.

She jerked her hand away. A stray tear rolling down her cheek.

"And that was supposed to be better? You left without so much as a goodbye and you think you can come back after these years and just say that you've missed me and everything will go back to how it used to be?" She didn't know if she could forgive him. It was true that she loved Tobias Lynne. She'd loved him the first time she saw him and she loved him now. But she was scared. She couldn't pick up the pieces a second time if he left. That fear pounded in her veins. There was always a chance of him leaving her again.

"I don't want to go back, Trish. You were right then, I wasn't ready to be serious, to put in the time and effort. But when I left I knew it would always be you, but my pride has prevented me all this time. So what I want is for us to be better." His voice was almost a plea.

As much as Trish loved this man, she couldn't find it in herself to forgive him. Perhaps this time it was her pride.

"I was ready then, Tobias. Now..." Her voice cracked, "now, its to late." She whispered. She pushed back on her chair and exited the room.

***
"How is the studying?" Thomas questioned as he peeped through the crack in her door.

"I am almost done, and then I have to review again for that exam tomorrow." She told him. It had been weeks since Avril and Thomas had spent any time together...any intimate time. The last time they kissed was when she told him not to hold back on her. Since then her exam schedule was released, his father went away again and Thomas was also busy.

She prayed for her exams to be over soon so she could spend some time with him. She was anticipating more of his kisses.

"Okay, make sure to get some rest." He said before exiting.

Thomas found it difficult not to kiss those soft lips of hers, but he was willing to wait until she wasn't so preoccupied. After all her education came first.

He walked down to the kitchen for some water. He found Trish cleaning.

"It's ten in the night." His eyes scanning the room for the clock. His words causing her to turn around.

"It calms me." She responded before taking up her duties again. Since his father left she was barely herself. She spent as little time as she could with them.

"Okay stop." Thomas held onto her shoulder and turned her around, he walked her over to a chair and got her to sit down.

"What? What's wrong?" She protested, not wanting to stop. It helped her keep her thoughts at bay.

"What's going with you?" He questioned, pulling out a bottle of water and a soda for her before sitting down.

She seemed to consider this for a second. "And do not say 'nothing'."

"Nothing is wrong with me." She responded defensively at the same time, their voices melding together.

"Does this have to do with dad?" He questioned boldly. This had to be resolved. He didn't like his family divided.

Her entire features seemed flustered now. "Wh-what." he could tell she was about to negate any connection to the man.

"Can I just say this?" Thomas raised a hand to silence her. " The two of you have already lost so many years because of whatever issues were present...I know my father was probably the cause and I understand why you are second-guessing this. I know you are scared." He took her hand in his.

"But, Trish, my father does love you. Please forget the past, put aside the pride and doubt. Is it really fair to lose more time?" He questioned. He rose from his chair, took out his cell, dialed the number and placed the phone on the table before leaving.

Trish didn't know what to do. Should she end the call? She should. That was the most rational thing to do.

The ringing ceased and the voice on the other side made rationality fly out of the window. She wanted to be with him. She would never be happy otherwise. She picked up the cell and placed it against her ears. Her hands trembling.

She had to remind herself that pride wasn't a virtue, it was a sin.

"Tobias, it's me. Can we talk?"