46- Deeper

"Could you please be quiet first? I'm still eating."

She bowed her head and apologized. The nun never spoke again and began to eat silently. What followed was that Manong Ben was the only one who spoke and occasionally joked. He is a very old man, so it is not immediately apparent that he is alone in life.

He jumped to his feet and dashed towards the waterfall. He was still walking slowly, and Zerus was aware that their eyes were on him.

"I believe Manong, Fender is very angry in his heart. That's how I feel."

Even though he is a long distance away. He could hear her sad voice. He shrugged and ignored what it said.

He was leaning against a massive block of rock, and behind him was a large tree, which gave everybody who sat in its shadow a peculiar sense. He was surrounded by wildflowers, and his heart felt at ease for the first time.

"Mr. Hearst."

He didn't even open his eyes. He was certain the women would follow him.

"I apologize, Mr. Hearst, if I misunderstood you. I just wanted to ask you a question..."

He didn't even open his eyes. He was concerned that the more he opened his eyes, the deeper he would sink into the well of emotions he was experiencing.

He was a hopeless individual.

And the lady is a nun!

"Mr. Hearst? Are you sleeping?"

Zerus refrained himself from opening his eyes, despite the fact that he was tempted to do so in order to marvel at the woman's innocent beauty. From its sweet voice, which appeared to caress his icy heart, to its kind gesture, which made his dead heart sigh for a long time every time he looked at her.

There was just one thing he wanted to happen during his brief stay. He badly wanted to leave Barrio Felopina. The two-week stay is already excessive. He is also unsure whether his life will be safe in the next days. Hayes and Fortocarrero are not his opponents, but he is astute. When it comes to this sort of thing, he's the smarter one.

".Mr. Fender Hearst..."

"Did you see the man sleeping?" he said seriously. Draw out the irritation in his voice.

"You don't appear to be sleeping. You're speaking."

When he opened her eyes, he took a long breath and their gazes connected. A woman stood a meter in front of him. Her long black gown and veil give her the appearance of innocence. Its beauty was enhanced as her veil swirled lightly in the wind and caught a brief glimpse of sunshine.

Zerus admits that he felt as though he saw an angel of these moments as the trees around her danced. This is quite great. She's very stunning!

When he realized his situation, he quickly clenched his fist and regained his sight.

"Mr. Hearst, I simply want to ask you a question."

"Please leave. I'm never going to need 'those inquiries of yours. Those like you should be in a convent or a church at this time. You shouldn't waste your time talking to me."

It was a long time before she spoke and looked down, "All right. I'm sorry."

He didn't respond. He let the woman turn away as his gaze followed her. Disgusted, he rose from his seat and walked forward toward the waterfall, where the water was falling freely.

His wounds will heal in a few days. He is free to leave at this time. So it was impossible for his heart to feel odd. He was jolted a few times by the concept. It was only a hazy feeling in his heart.

BLESSY sighed as she returned to church. She doesn’t seem to be able to talk politely to a man named Fender Hearst. She sighed sadly for the man. She knew that what he suffered was not for nothing and he fell into the water like Manong Ben's story.

"Sister Blessy?" Sister Pearl mentioned her name. Like her, she is also a Juniorate and is in the Second Stage.

In fact she is in the First Stage of the Juniorate and one of those she swore to serve the needy and help the sick. They don’t stay in one place for long, they move around as Medical Mission Sisters. Only now did Sister Pearl and her spend some time in the village of Felopina according to Mother Jean's request.

"Looks like he doesn't want to talk right now..."

“That person is unfortunate. He looks a good guy even though there are many tattoos on his body and in the neck."

She did not say a word. How good a person's heart is is not based on outward appearance. It doesn’t mean that a person’s body is dirty because of ink, it’s bad.

"Sister Pearl, did you talk to Mother Jean?" She changes the subject.

“Ah, yes. I've talked to her Actually, we'll only be here for four weeks. We will return to Manila as ordered by Mother Jean.”

She was sad. In the few months she has been in this place, she has fallen in love with the children. They go out but only to town and mostly, just buy food and necessities for the children in their care.

“I will miss the children, Sister. This place. The people. The church and even Mother.”

“It’s really like that. You know that being a nun, there are many tests to be done."

She nodded. She knew that thing. But that did not hinder Blessy's heart from her chosen vocation. Ever since she was young, she dreamed of becoming Mother Superior one day in the church she grew up. The only one who cared for and raised her was her uncle Priest who was assigned to Manila.

"Sister Blessy!"

"Sister Pearl!"

She smiled as the children greeted them. Show them each one by drawing and coloring on paper. Somehow, someone sends them a monthly donation for the children and the church. One of the things she thanked God was that there were still good people in the world.

"Look at what we drew!"

She looked at Leah. The child has been adopted by this church since it was left outside the church. Sadness welled up in her eyes but she didn’t let the child notice. What she draws on the paper is a happy family. This is what the children in their care always draw: a happy family.

"Do you think Mom will come back to here and get me?"

Sister Pearl looked at them and it took them a long time to answer. This is the first time a young child has asked them.

She just smiled and gently stroked her hair. “Of course! You are a good child and one day God will give you what you ask for."

"Really?"

She just pinch her cheek and accompanied the children in what they were doing. When the time they left Barrio Felopina, she would surely miss the children here. They are already dear to her. If only she could, she would adopt them and take care of them but she can't.

“Why can't we see brother Fender? Is he home yet?”

She smiled and shook her head at Raiza's question. The kid was sitting in an old wheelchair. "He's with Manong Ben."

At the same time, they nod as she slowly sighed. She wants to talk to the man but he always pushes her away.

It is no longer common for her when strangers ask for help to church. Somehow, the memory that nothing awful had happened to the man made her calm. They take an oath as junioriate to help people who are sick or in need. The man's actions in the cave were quite perilous. It can die with only one bad move. It was difficult to operate on one's own wound, so she prayed in the cave that the man would 'simply not die.

"You think to much, Sister Blessy."

Sister Pearl, her friend, caught her gaze. That's true, she's thinking about something but can't tell her what it is. Her friend will undoubtedly provide her with more than just questions and sermons.

"First, Sister, I'll go to my room. I'll leave the kids with you for a while."

She stood up when it nodded. She adjusted her clothing and her viel. She also said her goodbyes to the children, entrusting them to Sister Pearl's care. Sister Pearl mentioned that they will return to Manila after a few more weeks of being at the church and convent with the children, and she even met Mother Jean in the corridor.



MR. HEARST sat under the large tree the next day and slept peacefully, which made Blessy sigh. The man was not the reason she went to that area. She used to go there every Saturday to pick lovely flowers and medicinal plants for the church.

She was only a few steps away from the man, and she could see him sleeping peacefully.

She sensed that the man was concealing something. When she wanted to relate a story, however, as a woman who will one day be a full-fledged nun, she simply let it go. She even desired to help this man in regaining his trust in God. Because the truth is, she could sense his heart's enormous rage.

"He's pitiful..." she said nearly in hushed tones. She feel sorry the man and all she could do was pray for him.

"I'm not pitiful," he says.

When the man spoke, she was taken aback. Fender Hearst was sleeping, all Blessy knew, and the word that came out of her mouth earlier was nearly silent.

She apologized and bowed gently, saying, "I'm sorry if I disrupted your rest." She had been accustomed to his cold gesture.

"Isn't nuns like you solely work in the church and convent? What brings you here by yourself?"

"I've come to get flowers for the altar, Mr. Hearst."

"The cathedral is surrounded by flowers. Why don't you take it?"

She took a deep breath and sighed softly. She doesn't understand what he's trying to say. She is a nun, not a fortune teller. Her brow furrowed as she asked, "What do you want to happen, Mr. Hearst?"

"Get yourself away from here or I'm the one to leave."

"I can't understand you," she frowned even more.

He remained silent. He simply stood up and gave her a hard stare. Every time she looks into his eyes, she sees hatred, anger, and revenge.

He turned and walked slowly without saying anything. He was dressed in a torn pair of ragged jeans and an old white shirt. She notices a big mandala tattoo on the man's shoulder that extends from the neck to the entire right hand. Anyone would assume he's an addict when it comes to appearance and body colors because he wears a black rings on his finger.

"Mr. Hearst," she started.