chapter 12

"God, baby, you feel so fucking good wrapped around my cock. So…fucking…amazing." He rasps as he slowly thrusts his member into my needing and wanting body. His hands tighten on my ass as his thrusting picks up speed. I dig my fingers into the black silk sheets trying but ultimately not succeeding, keeping my moaning muffled. All I wanted to do was submit to the overwhelming pleasure of every thrust. At each thrust, the tip of his mouthwatering cock hit my cervix, making my body spasm sending lightning bolts of sheer pleasure shooting from my core to every part of my body.

"Fuck me... Emilia…" he rumbles, "It's Like you were made for me, baby."
God, I knew I loved him and how we fit together like we are meant to be.

"Cum with me, baby, come fucking with me."

When my pleasure hits the most powerful part of my orgasm,
I wake up.

Sitting bolt upright up with a giant jolt, I can't figure out what feels so off.
The door opens a crack, and johnny pokes his head into the room, "Hey Em," he says hesitantly, "is it Okay, if I come in?" He says, poking his head around the door.

And seeing him, that is all it takes for it to come rushing back, My birthday, the package, The shifter club, and Ryan.

"Someone woke up very happy." johnny says, walking over to the edge of my bed and taking a seat. "Mornin' Em, did you sleep okay?"


He looks awkward; His hair is tousled in a just woke-up way, giving him a sweet young, almost boyish look to his regular hardened face. He's wearing sweats and one of Jeremy's black tees with Superdry written across the left peck.
"Slept decently, I guess, or at least I think I did." I pick at my comforter, not wanting him to know I was dreaming about Ryan or how badly I craved him.
"Look at me, Em; I'm so, so, so sorry I don't know what to say ."
He grabs my hand almost apologetically.

"Look, Jeremy, I know you mean well but don't want to deal with it. Not now, not later. I'm not sure I ever want to deal with it again; I've gone over it repeatedly. What would be left to say at this point, huh? He lied to me for years. All I would be doing is setting myself up for more pain and heartbreak. Would it be too much to ask for me just to be allowed a little happiness for fucking once in my life? I loved him, johnny! And now I fucking find out he is my mate; what am I meant to do, Johnny? He's married at the very minimum, and at the worst, he left me to die johnny at his father's hand even if he didn't know it at the time; that asshole wanted to kill me. He probably still does" I don't even give him a chance to get a word out,

"You can be friends with him; you will always be my family. but I won't interact with him, please, Johnny, I can't do that, please, please don't ask me to do that."
I can tell he is trying to work out my emotions, or maybe he is processing that I've finally found my mate, and I am essentially rejecting him.


"Emily, please don't do it, I know he's an ass, But I'm begging you don't do the same mistake that I did," he says. I can see the guilt in his eyes as he speaks.

He sighs as I look at him, confused. "When I first met Jeremy, I felt the pull immediately. But I.....I couldn't accept myself, Emily; I did something terrible to him. Don't hurt your mate like I did, Emily. So ensure you know your actions are right for you."

I know he's right; I do, At some point, I have to accept or reject my mate, but for me right now, my little bubble of denial isn't a perfectly acceptable place to stay.
I know I don't have the energy for this fight.

Why can't we pretend that last night never happened,
"Emily, this kills me; I feel guilty as shit now knowing I brought him back into your life. You might be able to forget, But I can't. I know what last night has cost you. I know that you shifted. I've seen the scars on Jeremy; for fuck's sake, no werewolf can not heal, Em, You need to know what you are, and I think he does too, especially since he is your mate Em." He shakes his head, eyes losing their soft shine for a second.

"I'm so sorry, Em, and I promise you I only ever knew him as Jackson. I promise I never heard the name Ryan; He was only ever known to us as Damien Jackson. We would call him DJ for short in the army ."

Why is this so important? Right now, telling me this, what would it really fucking achieve. If I didn't care so much about Johnny, I would rip his fucking head off and tear him a new one right now.

"Damien, That's what you said, Damien, right?" I laugh, Almost crying
"That asshole, He picked my fucking father's name," I grumble, back to picking at the invisible lint again on my comforter. "can we please, please, not do this right now? I can't do this."
He looks at me, guilt in his eyes as he runs me over, assessing me for a while, trying to figure out how to word what he wanted to say. "Em, I won't let you sit here and fester in your pain and hatred. Not when I can fix it; I can at least do something this time. I won't just be waiting for your pain to boil over again and shift. No argument this time Em," His tone leaves no room for wiggling; he's settled in and ready to go at it.

Stubborn fucking ass. We really are too much alike sometimes.