chapter 19

(Ryan POV)

God bloody damn it, I can't get her slender body's image out of my head. Her tits were perfect seeing them like that with her nipples erect and two little barbells decorating them. I wanted to swallow my pride, drop to my knees, and beg her to let me suck them into my mouth.
As much as I wanted her and my body craved it, I was so fucking angry that someone else had his hands on her. I saw red. She was my mate. Whether I liked it or not, my body craved and wanted to worship her very being.

She is my fucking girl. There was no reasoning with my wolf. It doesn't matter to me that it has been years since I touched her. I didn't know if someone else felt what was mine, enjoyed them? Loved her? Or had she been alone all this time? As much as I hated the thought of someone touching her, I didn't want her to be alone. For seven years, I thought she was dead and gone forever. Since I saw her again, she'd opened a box where emotions couldn't be put back in. I've thought about her constantly all week. I needed to focus on getting everything in my life in order. I tried to keep busy with all the legal paperwork for the law firm, plus meetings and consultations with new clients. I don't have time time to be craving her.

I remember thinking very briefly about how my body and mind felt when I first saw her, about our mate connection. I want my mate was the only thing I could think as it ran through my mind. My heart was torn between wanting her and hating her when all hell broke loose.

I needed more information, and I need it asap before my head explodes. I don't know what bloody mess and trouble she'd gotten herself into. God, I don't even know much about her. I had assumed for so many years that she was gone. I was broken and pissed because I couldn't save her. Drinking my pain away in a pub in the dark.

Even now, craving my answers as fiercely as I do, my main focus is to protect her.

I should have expected her to pull some vanishing act and hide all day. I should have. When 5 pm rolled around today, and I still hadn't heard from her, I tried to call, and it went to voicemail. That was it. I headed straight to Johnny's packhouse, and when I found her not there, I was pissed. I waited there, I asked or demanded Johnny to tell me, But he wasn't telling me where they were.

Imagine my shock when I got a text from Jeremy with their location telling me to make it right When I arrived and walked into a tattoo parlor of all places.


Listening to her cry made the pounding of my heart boom in my ears. As much as I wish I could keep myself hardened to the sound of her crying, God, I wished I didn't care for her anymore, I wanted all my feelings to die that day, But I couldn't help it after seeing her, and it all flooded back to me. After seeing what happened last week and how badly her wolf affected her after knowing that she's my mate, I know they won't make it this easy. When I thought she was dead, it ripped my heart to fucking shreds.

After another 15 minutes of driving and listening to Emilia's soft whimpering, we pulled up a long road. I pull up to the large black gate of my house. After entering the code, The gate rolls open. I pull my chevy into my driveway. I glance at her, wondering how she will view my new life. I might be a twenty-nine-year-old man, but that doesn't stop me from hoping she sees how far I've come; From being a prisoner of that family to finally being somewhat free. A small part of me hopes she feels just an ounce of envy for what I was able to accomplish on my own without her in my life.

Deep down, I knew I would have gladly been penniless if it meant loving her and having her love me back, Maybe a family together, But did I even see this Emilia, Her spirit seemed to have been crushed, and I didn't even really know this woman that she had become.


The house I bought wasn't over the top, and I couldn't stand living in another packhouse mansion. It was a little cottage on an estate with a cliff. I knew most people would think I was nuts for living in a cramped place over having loads of space. There was probably some reason I decided to live on a cliff. I knew there was plenty of jacked-up shit in my head.

We drive into the small front garden lined with trees and flowers of all different types; The deep red bricks almost look orange against the setting sun and the lamp posts next to the small wooden fence beam a cheerful and inviting light. The small wrap-around front porch looks cozy with the two rocking chairs positioned next to each other with cushions to soften the wood. The house is comfortable and meant to be a home filled with love. Somehow It just felt like a farce, and The house didn't match the owner. I bought this place hoping to have grandkids running around in the future enjoying the garden as my wife, and I sat in the rocking chairs, But right now, The house is just as vacant as I am inside right now, and I don't like it at all.

I glance at her and sigh—Time to get this over with.

Now it was time to figure out what happened and why it was that she was being hunted; what the hell happened to her spirit? This woman was just a broken version of the girl I gave my heart to.
Emilia is just looking out the window of my car to the garden. My guess is this is her attempt at avoiding me.
I can feel my wolf rising. I'm fighting for control, control against my wolf. Not to make her mine this very second. For control over the pain that holds my heart and power against my desire and needs, caused by Emilia. For fucks sake, I've never had so many issues controlling myself before.

"What do you want now? Why did you bring me here, Ryan?" It's barely a whisper now, and I might have missed it if I hadn't been looking at her.

"Out the car, then we talk. It's simple. No more games Em; I'm sick of games." I think that is nice enough until the tears start rolling down her flushed cheeks.
Goddammit.
I step out of the car, and she is waiting next to the front door for me to unlock it.

"This way," I say, ushering her into the house before the rain starts. The welcome is just rolling off my tongue. For fucks sake, My gut tells me that I should just leave her alone, forget about her and the answers I need, let it die and pretend she did. But I can't; it's like I need her just to keep myself sane.
I open the door house and motion for her to enter. The place is dark, so she pauses next to the door. I walk in first and switch the lights on in the small cottage. There are black nickel-coated appliances with a mix of utensils in different pots around the kitchen and cherry wood cabinets painted forest green with white marble countertops. A small table sat under a windowsill that had been coated in various types of house plants.
"Sit there," I say, pointing to one of the yellow armchairs on either side of the table as I head towards the kettle. When I look round, I see her sitting sniffing the plants, and for a moment, I see her, The girl I used to know.

I sit down, bringing over the two cups of tea. I place one in front of her, and she stares at it as she wraps her hand around the cup. I give her a second. Hopefully, she will just tell me what I need to know without making this a big deal. We stared at the rain, and minutes had gone by, weakening my patience and resolve.

"Say something," I bark. The sound vibrates off the naked walls.

"I don't know what you want me to say. What is it you need to know, Ryan.." More whispers.


"First, you explain, in detail, why it is you are being hunted?" I spit the word out; The anger was starting to get the best of me. God damn it, the bitterness on my tongue is loud and clear,
"then you can explain to me what that fucked up photo meant. Details, Em."


It takes her a second; I can see her words working around her mind. She opens her mouth a few times, and nothing comes out.

She closes her eyes for a few minutes and inhales deeply, "I wasn't a rouge when your father brought me to your pack. I am a survivor, and I know he told you I was a rouge. I was a slave to your pack, and everyone treated me like it, even using Mongrel as my name..." Didn't take much of a deduction to guess she was leaving something out.

"Let me ask you something, How do you expect me to fucking fix it when that's all I have to go on. What I don't get—I don't understand why he won't just let you go. For fuck's sake Em, What is it that is so fucking special about you" I say, banging my hand on the table. Even to my ears, that comes out harsher than I intended it to. I see her flinch. Her eyes gloss, and she bursts into tears and runs off into the darkness of my house. I am completely thrown. Shocked. What is the fucking hell? Grumbling like a fool, I take off to find her.




Almost ten minutes later, I finally narrow the search down. Really it shouldn’t have been this much of a challenge since I havn't got that much space in my house. I look in every room on the downstairs floor nothing; I finally catch a clue when I pass my bedroom next to the stairs, soft crying. She couldn’t pick a better hiding spot.
I finally find her, wedged underneath the bed. She has completely turned into herself; legs pulled tight to her chest, laying on her side with her back on the wall. and arms wrapped tightly around her body protecting herself.
“Em, come out.” I try softly.Trying to squeeze under the bed to get her.
Nothing but soft cries come from her.