chapter 23

"Emilia," he mumbles at me in his sleep.

I hated when anyone called me Emilia, but how he says my name melts my heart, just like when we were kids. I always loved him even when he broke my heart, Just knowing he's married to someone else broke me, and here he was cuddling into me with nothing but boxers on, and he's not mine. I lay Wide-awake, letting the thoughts stir in my head with his arm wrapped around me. I'm unsure how long I laid there before I decided it was time to go.

I moved to detangle my legs from his as he rolled onto his back with a groan letting my breasts free of his grasp. I scoot over to the edge and sit up, hanging my legs over the edge. I turned my head to look at him one last time. I couldn't let him in again, not knowing everything. And no matter how much I craved for him to mark me. I couldn't give in. This wasn't some fantasy where it all worked out; it was real life, and he kept too many secrets for a Happily ever after.

When I saw him, he was absolute Perfection. His hair curled against his forehead, and his face looked softer while he slept, more like my Ryan from when we were nineteen. One of his thick tanned arms curled under the black silk of the pillow, and the other was against his heavily sculpted abdomen. On the right side of his neck, the outline of beautiful lilies that traveled down his shoulders, he had two giant wolves tattooed onto each peck wrapping around both shoulders and the front of his chest. I could see the beginning of other tattoos that disappeared under the sheet that covered his stomach. I couldn't help but wonder what different ink he had.

Holy shit, what happened to him? This wasn't the body of the boy I used to know and love, and I wasn't sure what was more intriguing, how much his body had grown or the beautiful ink that covered every inch of his very lickable muscles.
Ryan begins to growl in his sleep, making every muscle in my body clench with heat and desire. I didn't care how much I needed him and wanted him. My mind wouldn't allow it. I couldn't; I wouldn't do that to him. He's married—end of. I needed him to agree to reject the mate bond so things would return to normal. My heart drops a little at the thought.


Avoid it; come on, girl, you can do this! I stand up and head to the dresser, rummage through the drawers and find some very large sweats covered in black paint stains and a smaller shirt with a rolling stones logo written across the front.

Thirty minutes later, I made my way down the stairs out of the bathroom and went to the kitchen, following the smell of bacon and eggs cooking long hall and stairs, searching for the kitchen. Rounding the corner, I walk into the kitchen and see Ryan wearing black shorts and a white top, standing next to the oven humming a song to himself.

He had already placed glasses on the table with a large jug of orange juice. I watched him for a minute, As he dished up the eggs, bacon, and beans.

"You know staring is rude." He shouts over the extractor fan at me.
"I Wasn't staring." I start before he laughs me off.

"Just sit down. I'll bring over breakfast in a minute." He says, continuing to flip the bacon. It was weird; yesterday, I wasn't fond of the thought of being anywhere near him, But today it was almost like we had known each other every day of our lives; nothing felt awkward. It was unnerving but strangely nice.

"They should be here within the hour, So eat quickly." He says, placing a plate down in front of me. He leaves no room for me to argue with him as he digs into his breakfast, His eyes stayed downcast, and he wouldn't meet my eyes, not once during the whole meal. We sit in silence while we eat.

Eventually, I clear my throat, Breaking the silence, "So, what happens now with everything, Ryan?"

"Told you last night, I'm going to fix this; I promised johnny to find out why and what kind of threat he holds over you. They aren't just going to go away. The reality is he will hunt you until he gets exactly what he wants, Em."

I'm done with him talking to me like I'm an idiot, Acting all high and mighty now he knows a sliver of what's going on. All I need is to go home and hide from my problems and Ryan. I can't deal with this right now. I have to hope Jeremy can keep quiet about everything else he knows that happened, That I couldn't bring myself to tell Ryan.

I silently stress over what would happen if Ryan finds out
Everything I haven't told him... The door slams and footsteps enter the house.
"Jackson. Where you at?" Voice one shouts,
"Shut the fuck up, Marx. It's too early for this shit seriously quieten down. My head is still swimming from being up all night pleasing Izzy ." Voice two grumbles back at him.
"No one needs to know that, Gremich," Johnny says. I look back at Ryan when I hear a slight growl from his throat. His eyes are fixed behind me on the men in the hallway.

The laugh after Johnny's voice has me snapping my head up and back around.

Jeremy pushes through first and immediately rushes over to wrap his arms around me. "You okay, hun?"
My body went ridge, and I couldn't speak. He betrayed me last night, and here he was, trying to pretend everything was okay!

"Please, Em, Don't be mad at me. I did what I thought was best for you. You have to trust these guys. They know what they're doing." He whispers in my ear in an attempt to get me to answer.
"You all done. We need to talk.Now." Ryan growls across the table at all of us.
I look up at my eyes and frown. No way He was going to be playing this alpha shit now. "Remember, this was your idea. Take your head out of your ass. You got the answers you so desperately needed. Don't get pissy just because it wasn't what you wanted to hear." I growl back at him.