chapter 21

"Are you sure we need to relive this? It isn't pretty, Ryan l… .." she says, unconsciously holding her stomach protectively.

I wanted to scream, no, no, no, I don't want to hear this; I wanted to hold her and protect her from the pain I was causing her. Anything but hearing it, but I couldn't. I wanted to know this., I pushed for the truth, and it was time to pay the piper.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, princess, keep going."
"Okay," she says, pausing, "well--," she says, breathing in then out Exhale. "when that woman came, everything changed. She was stunning, Ryan. I don't know why I'd be telling you this. You know exactly what I mean. She's your wife. I knew then when I saw her exactly why you chose her, Ryan. God, she was the perfect woman and luna. I stayed out of the way, trying to hide, and I spent months trying to protect them; I'm so sorry I tried like really tried to hide them the best I could, But I was a useless mother to them. I couldn'.t ..... " Her body started to shake as her crying became harder. Her body turned towards me, curling into my body. I held onto her. I knew I couldn't take the pain away. I wrap a blanket around her half-naked body, trying to hide her from the world.

"But I was starting to get bigger, and it was getting harder to hide my growing stomach. I tried my best to wear baggier clothes, but I wasn't given much to work with.

On my 20th, He was angrier than usual; he'd caught me outside with Jeremy when I wasn't supposed to be. He pinned me down against the table, holding my head in one hand and digging his nails into my face. As he….." she said, taking a deep breath.

"As he pushed himself into my body. Everything in my body screamed no, But I couldn't push him off of me. I tried to fight and scream at him, and he put a knife up to my throat to silence me as he came into my unwanting body.

He left me alone for a while, but It was that night…. My birthday, my 20th fucking birthday. He found out about them he beat me to a pulp. I managed to survive the beating but was in critical condition for about a month, But my heart broke that day because I knew they didn't…… " She said, crying into my chest.

I hadn't realized I was not breathing until my chest started hurting. I can't even move and allow myself to move, my God…
"I got lucky when I passed out; I don't remember much, but I know Jeremy managed to get me out, and we've been hunted by them ever since," she said, her eyes locking with mine. I could see her wolf right beneath the surface.

Anger ran through me. It killed me to hear this story. I wish this was just a tale, not the life she was living when I thought she was dead; I hated her all this time just for her to live in hell. As hard as it is for me to hear, it can't be easy to relive. I can't even imagine the pain she still keeps locked in that little head of hers.


"I don't even know what to say right now, Princess. I…I just don't know. It kills me to know you had to live like that for even a fucking second. I wish I could of --" Before I even finish speaking, she pulls the blanket up around her and retreats across the bed.





"Did you ever love me, Ryan?" she says, almost crying again.

It takes all my control not to mark her right now.
She was mine.
She is mine.
She will always fucking be mine.
She owned me.
I was her's no matter fucking what.
She had my heart in the palm of her hands, and she didn't even know.

I can see the walls coming up instantly; she is blocking me out and masking her emotions perfectly. I lean over her body, my face touching hers. "I loved you my entire life Em. I promised you always, and I meant it. I even knew back then how much I needed you in my life that it killed me when I felt your wolf disappear. It killed me every day. Do you get that, Em? I never stopped loving you." I say, looking straight into her eye. I wasn't lying; I hated her all these years because of how much she was always in my mind nonstop. She was all I dreamt about, and she was the reason I sat in those dark bars drinking myself to oblivion because I needed her so badly.


"Why did you leave me then," she says quickly and quietly, "I don't know. It's blank all of it. I turned her down and then felt your wolf die. A lot happened, Em, but I never loved her. Ever." I beg her to believe me. I needed her and couldn't lose her because of a damn woman I didn't even love.


"Was the break in the first time they found you here?" I ask in an attempt to change the subject. I couldn't bear her knowing what happened and what I had to do,


"Yeah, We've been safe here for a long time now." She says, keeping her eyes locked on me. I'm so close that I can feel her breath on me and her chest rise and fall under me.


I break the tension rising before I do anything that she'd regret later on. I look over at the little clock by the bed. The time was starting to creep well past 2 am, which just cements the fact that we are done for the night in my head...
"We need to sit down tomorrow with Johnny, Jeremy, and the guys. I need you to tell me how you want this to go. But that can all wait for tomorrow; it's late. I'll call the guys over in the morning. I'll grab some clothes; you can use the shower if you want, and then we'll sleep. " I say, staring at her with hunger and lust in my eyes. God, I crave her, want her, need her.

I need my mate.