chapter 22

If I could stay locked inside this small bathroom, I would.

It was hard enough to live through all of it without Ryan, but I did, and I have worked so hard to move on, even though I still blame myself every day for not being able to keep them safe. My precious little Lila and Georgia. They would be almost eleven now. I wonder who they would have looked like, more me or him or a combination of us. I rub my hand protectively across my stomach. I would have traded anything for them to be here right now. Rehashing all of the painful memories with my mate, the one person I thought was gone forever, The pain, the guilt, and the fear of him rejecting me for now, knowing how weak I really am. Never in my life did I think I'd get the chance to tell him about his babies. I never thought he would say to me he still loved me. Even though he was still married to her and I didn't have any answers, I didn't know who he really was. My mind is swirling, debating whether I should let him back into my life with the risk of him causing more damage than last time. I'm not under the delusion that Ryan is back and mine; he had a whole life since then with her.

I take a quick shower blocking out all the thoughts in my head. I winced as the Water hit each little bar flinching away. God damn, I didn't think it would hurt this much after having them done.

I dry off quickly with a small black towel and pull on the soft off-white tee on, For fucks sake, I look like a child! IT's a bloody tent on me. I flip my curls back over my head, tying them up with a small hairband on my wrist. After I finish my ponytail and give myself one hell of a stay-strong pep talk, I walk into the bedroom.
Oh my fucking god.


Walking back into the room, I see him, Water still dripping down his chest, disappearing when it reaches the towel tightly knotted low on his hips. I could feel my body tightening at the sight of him.
Wow.

Breathe just breathe
Fuck you, fate. You really are one hell of a bitch, aren't you?

"Which side?" I say with a slight wobble in my voice. "Don't care; your choice," He says, Typical making me choose
I decide on the side closest to the window. Letting him snap the lights off as I burrow down into the sheets. I felt covered in Ryan's scent, and my body started to burn up with the longing and pure need for my mate. I bite my lip as hard as I can. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying not to focus on it. Trying to calm my body down. After a few minutes, the bed dips, and Ryan curls up next to me. I needed him so badly. My body felt like it was on fire. My mind and body were screaming at me to give in.

I hear a soft whisper, "Princess. It'll be okay. Just let it pass. I won't touch you." He says. I whimper as he moves away from me, losing his touch.

"Come back," I hear myself whisper. It killed me how much I needed him right now. He turned over, wrapping his arm around me, cuddling his body into mine. Growling lowly into my ear. We were pressed tight with no gap between our bodies. I finally fall asleep, feeling comfortable and safe in his arms.


I know better than to hope that all of this is more than the mate bond, but I can't help it, hoping that maybe just maybe, He needed me as much as I needed him at this moment.

But why would he leave me for so long if he loved me?


When I start to wake up in the morning, I notice how warm I am. Wrapped in the duvet I'm nestled in, I groan slightly and wiggle back, trying to find the comfiest spot to drift back to my comfortable dreams. When I wiggle around, I hit something solid, which sends a jolt of adrenaline, waking me up straight away.

A large hand is cupping my tender breasts and soft breathing against my neck, sending shivers down me. I groan. The mating heat that my body was in last night was gone. Thank god I can think straight again. But the large erection poking me through thin fabric certainly isn't.

It's snaked its way up and around, settling up against my entrance, Which is now dripping with desire, Thanks to my stupid hormones and all that wiggling I've done, searching for the warmth in my sleep.


Cracking my eyes open, I see the sun streaming in, and I take in the small room. It was cozy, with a large wardrobe next to the window and a bedside table next to me. A pretty red rug lay on the floor on top of the dark wooden floor. It was unexpectedly clean. A small armchair was in the corner of the room with a large picture hanging above it. In the photo stood five men, all in army uniforms with goofy smiles on their faces. Three of the men I didn't recognize with short chopped hair In different shades of red-orange, Black, and brown, Two were a bit tanned, and the other was dark-skinned. The other two were defiantly younger versions of Johnny and Ryan. God, they both looked so young and happy with their arms wrapped around each other shoulders. Under the photo, It said "Squadron 54: Lieutenant Jackson, captain bishop, Marx, Gremich, "The last name had been scribbled out, but I could make out Ola____Chi from the writing.

Looking down at his tatted arm that holds me tight to his body, I try to think of a way out of this hold. Shifting, I try to dislodge him naturally, but it backfires, and I get pulled in harder against his body.

He moves a bit in his sleep, and his rock-hard erection hits my clit as he groans against my neck. I suck in a moan of pure pleasure.

"Jackson, you wake up right now!" I yell. "Get your hands off my boobs and call your cock off its search. It's found it. Dickhead, Back off." I growl at him.

All I get is a half-asleep groan as he pulls me back in. His lips pressed on the spot on my neck that my body screamed at me to let him mark. I feel his teeth graze along my neck slightly, and I moan quietly, knowing that If he has a wet dream right now, I might kill him.