Chapter twenty nine
Drake's POV
I am tired of this life,It's like I am screaming and no one can hear me.I am suffocating.I am not angry but in pain.It's fucked up not to have control over your life.My life feels like a horror show.
You don't know what it feels like.To be all smiley.But you are breaking deep inside.I staggered to the living room after throwing Chacha's crap over the balcony and slumped on the sofa.I am what's wrong,I keep hurting those dear to me.I felt tears spill down my face and I quickly wiped them away.
How has she gotten under my skin so easily? I don't think I have ever felt all this before.At first it scared me but now I love the unfamiliar emotions am feeling.The emptiness when she is not around.How I feel like every ounce of my breathe has been taken from my lungs when she is around me.Or how I imagine the world comes to a standstill when she smiles or how her eyes shine like the stars everytime she is smiling or laughing.She makes every thing in my life feel perfectly aligned.How can I let that go?By just a mere touch of her skin and I feel a high electric voltage surging through me.The idea that she may never be my Jemima again, haunts me and it's unwelcoming to my gut.
I think I need another bottle of whisky before I drown in my sadness.Or maybe I should call her or text her Or send her roses or serenade her.I reach out for my phone and just when I am about to dial her number, it's like I was held back by imaginary chains.
Who am I fooling? My ego is way high that my desperation to win her back.I swiped through her photos and agony began weighing my chest down.I tried locking all our sweet moments in the depths of my mind and they all came back at me full force.How can simplicity amaze me?You are really going bananas Drake.I wish someone could do a memory wipe spell on me.I was dragged back to reality with the sound of the doorbell.Who is that now? I swear if it's Chacha, I am gonna cut her to pieces and feed her to the street dogs.Jeez!Just by the mention of her name, I can feel my insides churn."Who is it?" I groaned, my hand already on the door knob.I twisted it and opened the door and there was my brother wearing a sad guilty face."You are not the one I expected to see..."
"Have you been crying?"
"Why wouldn't I when that girl you love more than your life is bound to destroy me..." I yelled at him.
"I am sorry about earlier.I crossed the limits and after you left my office I felt bad..."I know I should be madder after seeing him but I felt much better by looking at his sorry face.I can never stay mad at him."Come here.... I hugged him a little longer before finally releasing him.
"It seems you have had a rough day..." He sighed after I pulled back.
"Yeah.worse than worse..."
"So do you mind telling me about your day?" He asked immediately we slumped on the carpet.
"Chacha was here..." I said dryly, downing a glass of whisky.
"Yeah I followed her and I saw how you threw her things over the balcony..."
"I hope you are not mad.I just can't stand her.Everytime she comes close to me, someone i love gets hurt..."
"I guess I am the one who slapped you not the other way round.I am hurt emotionally but it's my fault I am in love with her.Don't feel sorry for me..."
"I am not talking about you bro, I am talking about Jemima..."
"Who is Jemima?" He raised his eyebrows at me.
"Is she a model, influencer, model or a daughter to one of father's associates?" He continued.
"She is a baker" I replied dryly and downed another glass of whisky.
"What?" Daniel spat out the whisky that was in his mouth all over the carpet.
"Yeah.It's no big deal..."
"What happened to the Drake who hated middle class women because he thought they are materialistic?" It was evident he was trying so hard not to laugh.
"I wish you see her.When she smiles I am sure, everything around her stops and admires her.When she cups my face, I feel strangely contented.I get lost in her eyes Everytime I look at them and for the first time drowning seems like a good idea.She is so kind, forgiving, charming and not forgetting beautiful.She is simple which weirdly amazes me..She doesn't realise she bits her lip nervously when looking at me, I sense I have an effect on her .When she is nervous, she talks alot like she says alot of silly things which I find funny.She is also a crying baby, she is vulnerable when she is drunk and it hurts me everyone she cries.When she kissed me for the first time, it felt like my first kiss,So perfect."
"Wow, don't think I have ever seen you so starstruck by a girl Mr Drake the Dribler..."I hadn't realised how much she means to me until now.I know is so soon to have ideas in my head but I think I like Jemima so much.
"It's different.She makes me feel complete.Something I have never felt till now.She like the part of my puzzle that had been missing since forever."
"It's called love brother.You are in love with this Jemima..."
"What rubbish? I don't fall in love.Love is for jerks like you..."
"I am not a jerk..."
"Then what do you call a guy who loves a girl who keeps hurting him all over again?"
"A guy in love..."
"I don't want to be like you.I see how broken you are Everytime Chacha gets into a new relationship, ignores your texts or flies back to London.I don't want to be that vulnerable..."
"I wish I could get her off my mind,heart and soul but I just can't.I love her and that's it..." There was sadness in his voice
"I wish she would love me you know.Like to stop chasing after you or getting into new relationships.I wish she would just love me..." He said hoarsely, tears dripping from his eyes.
"She doesn't deserve you brother.She tried s*ducing me earlier and Jemima got mad and left.There are more worthy girlfriends out there.Why her?" I began scolding him.
"I wish my heart could just forget her.This is not a tap that I can turn it on or off when I want too.."
"But you can learn to forget her..."
"It's not that easy Drake.Until I decide I wanna forget her, let me keep waiting..."
"But..."
"I am still mad at you for not telling me about this Jemima who is making my brother act like a teenage in love..."I see what he did there, he wanted to change the topic.
"You don't want to hear all about it.It's so funny and silly how we met and how much lies I have had to tell her..."After I am done narrating to him, all the drama I have gone through, the lies I had to tell since I met her, Daniel couldn't stop laughing.
"Your life is one hell of a telenovela Drake ..." He chuckled and I joined in.
"It was so much fun until we met in the basketballc ourtTrust me, I almost got a heart attack.The shock on her face, I am surprised she didn't get into comma..."
"I am so curious to meet her now.Does she have any male bestfriend?"
"I don't think she will forgive me after the drama Chacha caused here earlier..."
"Go and apologise to her.How hard can that b?"
"I am scared.She wants more that being my other woman and I can't offer anything more..."
"You can always offer her more.All you have to do is chose between your fame and her.Your fans will be mad for a while and they will learn to love her as they love Cardi later..."
"But she doesn't offer much.Cardi is my IT girl, she is partially the reason I am where I am today.She is smart, a strategist and she plays dirty when need be.Jemima is too good for the limelight..."
"Then let her move on with her life.Do you think it's fair for you to drag her around in your mud? She has the right to be happy "
I looked at the whisky bottle Daniel was holding and it was already empty.That explains why the house is spinning and Daniel looks blur.
"That's the problem.I want her to be with me and if not she should join the celibate academy or even be a nun."
"Then you are just selfish Drake.You have to chose, you can't have both..."
"I don't think I am ready to chose yet.I love fame, I love how people love me and I love how Carsi makes us this power couple.Only a mad man would trade that just because he likes a girl..."
"Then let her go."
"I can't,I love the heart-in-my-mouth, butterfly-in-my-belly moments Everytime she is around me.. want her to be with me but not in the expense of sacrificing what I have worked for years to have..."
You don't know what's like.To come across something special But you can't have it Because you can't.
"I hope one day, you won't regret all this.Do you know what I would sacrifice to have Chacha be mine, trust me even my life.It seems you haven't fallen in love yet or else you wouldn't be ranting all that rubbish?"
Daniel tried to stand up but slumped on the sofa."Damn Drake , I guess we drank a lot..."
"Tell me about it.I can't even move my legs and my butt is numb..."
"But for sure bro, try and win that Jemima back..She seems like what you need to figure your life out."
"We will talk about that later but right now, I just need to lie down.My head feels heavy that I can't support it anymore..."