Chapter 15: Hopeless.

'Where are you coming from?" Baba asked her in a strict, heated tone. Bushra took few steps back, afraid things might get more ugly if she stood too close to him.
'I said where are you coming from, because I know you close from work before 6pm. Now what says the time—9pm and you're just coming back into my house. As a lady? You must be out of your mind." He was angry, she could tell be the way his voice was loud and his hands were shaking.
'Baba I was…"
'Shut up! I don't want to hear anything from you! I have heard all about your late whereabouts. So it's true about you wandering around with a man? Listen carefully, I am marrying you off to Sadiq in two weeks whether you like it or not." With shaky hands, he fetched his phone out of his pocket and dialled on his younger brother's number, Sadiq's father.
Her eyes were filled to the brim with tears as she averted her gaze to Sadiq; he smiled mischievously at her. She looks at her sister and mother – they couldn't change his mind. Not even with his mother sitting in the room.
'I give you the next two weeks to come to my house for the wedding Fatiha of Sadiq and Bushra. And don't pass that two weeks I've given you!" He ends the call and looked at Bushra. 'I give you less than two weeks to present a husband if you're not satisfied with the man I chose for you, but if you don't…" he pointed at Sadiq, '…He will be your husband in the next two weeks." He declared and stormed out of the living room.
Sadiq brushed passed her and followed him out.
She felt like her heart had been ripped out. A state of misery that she couldn't see the end of the tunnel. She collapsed on the floor, dejected, swollen with throbbing emotions and realizations of her fate. A terrible weight fell onto her shoulders as her tears blurred her vision. She felt a hand on her shoulder. 'Adda Bushra," Yasmin called out sensitively and squeezed her shoulder moderately.
She slapped her hand away and furiously got to her feet. She looked at the three of them – her eyes wet with hot tears. 'You three just sat there and listen to him ruining my life? Hajiya? You didn't even try to stop him – why? He's your son – you could tell him not to…" Another set of tears tickled down her cheeks. Her chin trembled with fear, anger—pain.
'Aunty, he's your husband – you could've said something to him. Why didn't you? You all want to see me live a miserable life with this guy? That womanizer? Do you all hate me that much or are you just tired of me being happy?" Her voice cracked as she spoke out her pain.
'Bushra, come here. Just calm down please." Hajiya Mama tried to calm her. 'NO! You can't tell me what to do when you just sat there and listened to him wrecking my life when you could just stop him with a blink of an eye. Is that why you're here? To marry me off to that irresponsible, philanderer grandson of yours…"
'Bushra!" Aunty called out sternly. Bushra stared at her mother for a moment and walked out. She barged into her room and collapsed on her bed. A flood of tears gushed down her rosy cheeks. 'Why always me? Why do I have to go through the toughest times always? Why can't it be anyone but this stupid man?" She mumbled incoherent things through her hands and choked on her sobs. Her heart was beating so fast it hurts her chest.
'Oh shut your filthy hole and stop whining, My six year old brother is such a cry baby and pain in the ass but… he's less annoying than you are, nevertheless!" His deep voice could be heard all around the four walls of her room. She gently raises her head and glared at him. 'Get out of my room – now!" She yelled, her voice breaking as she did so.
He lets out a loud humourless laughter, clenching on his stomach. 'Why are you acting as though you don't want me? We both know you need a manly – figure in your life." He said in a low tone as he approached her. She briskly got to her feet before he approached her bed.
He still approached her and gripped her by her neck, and clenched her wrists firmly behind her back. He raised her head up harshly and she had no other choice but to look at him. Her tears still flowed uninterruptedly.
He chuckled – his warm breath fanning her face. She closed her eyes as the scent of mint flavour blows her face. 'Since we're getting married in two weeks. Why not – we just, you know – start practicing some of things right now?" His voice was low and deep. He lowered his head to her neck and sniffed –
'By Allah if you don't leave my room right now, I'll scream out and you know everyone's going to hear me. And there's no way I won't tell them that you're not trying to rape me…" she voiced out in a shaky, but threatening way.
He smiled spitefully and bore into her eyes for a moment before letting go of her. 'I'm getting married to you in two weeks after all – so I can wait till then. It's better you start preparations at the moment before it's too late… Oh, and – count your days as a civil servant. It's better you quit soon and clear your desk because you're going to be a full-time housewife in my house!" He smirked flagrantly before he unconcernedly walked out of the room.
She stared at the door crestfallen. No one should be able to cry that hard. She collapsed to her knees, the world was her altar. There was a shadow, vague but prominent and taking all her strength minute by minute, piece by piece, tear by tear.
She had never in her life felt so much dejected nor has she cried that much. She has been through so much in her life and she had cried, got depressed even but nothing like how she was feeling at the moment. If she doesn't present anyone in the next two weeks, her life was going to be ruined – she was getting sacrificed to that animal she despised the most, the man she'd not even wish her enemy to marry.
'Adda Bushra…" Yasmin called out softly. She stood by the door, afraid to walk further into the room. 'Can I come in, please?" She besought worriedly. Her heart sunk at the sight of her sister. How time could change things. She left home looking as bright as the sun now here she was, collapsed on her knees, looking all shades of gloominess.
When Bushra didn't answer her, she composed herself walked further into the room, and knelt before her. She grabbed her shoulders and lifted her up. 'Look at me," She started. 'I know everything doesn't seem right – and I know you're dejected at the moment, but please stop the tears. You'll get a headache, and I don't want you to get sick over a man that's not worth it."
Bushra managed to smile through her tears. She wasn't crying over that reckless man – she was crying over her life, her career being ruined with just a flicker of an eye. 'I wish I could stop, Yasmin. But the tears just keep coming. My life is officially over!" A great sob escaped her, and she covered her face with shaky hands.
'No, no – don't say that, Adda. You'll be disappointed repeatedly. That's the nature of this world. Don't feel hopeless and let Satan mess with your mind. Stay firm in faith. And Allah can change the most hopeless situation into the best moment in your life. So, don't lose your heart, nor fall into despair because you will be superior if you are true in faith, Okay?" Yasmin's voice was subtly serene and smooth, a velvety whisper.
Bushra wiped at her eyes but the tears came any way. 'I wish I could stop feeling this pain. I wish it'll just go away, but I can't… I can't control it, Yasmin. And it hurts – it's hurting me a lot." The sound of wailing and suffering echoed throughout the room. Yasmin's heart thud – seeing her sister in that miserable state really broke her.
'Adda Bushra, no matter how bad things are right now. No matter how stuck you feel. Not matter how many days you spend crying. No matter how many days you spend wishing things would be different. No matter how hopeless and depressed you feel, I promise you, you won't feel this way forever. And—"
'Yasmin!" She heard her name being called. She raised her head and shoots it directly at the door. It was aunty glaring at the both of them. 'Will you stop wasting your time and go take care of your daughter! When she was out there roaming about the city with men and coming late, did she inform anyone? The decision your father made is right and I support him. It's better he marries you off than to keep getting old in this house and end up bringing shame to it." She hissed afterwards and left the room.
An ache started deep in her stomach. She turned away as her eyes welled up with new set of tears. If her mother was in support of that – who was she going to cry to?
'Don't listen to Aunty– everything's going to be alright." Yasmin soothed and gave her a brief, warm hug before hurriedly walking out.
She stayed there, unmoved as streams of tears flowed faster than her heartbeat. She had so many negative thoughts crossing over her mind. What if she doesn't find a solution before the next two weeks? What if she doesn't get a happy ending like most arranged marriage does? Of course, hers was going to be a forced marriage, how would it possibly work out? And then there was Mahir, asking her to marry him like she was some sort of a plaything.
Bushra didn't think twice, she scrambled up and searched for her phone in her bag. She dialled Madina's number and she picked up immediately. 'Oh, now you remember you left me at the restaurant. If I haven't seen you leave because of Mahir, I would've thought you ditched me," Madina spoke in a playful tone.
Bushra let out a heart-wrecking sob that made Madina's heart to drop. 'SubahanAllah! Bushra, what's wrong? What happened? Did Mahir do anything to you? Did he say something to upset you? Talk to me!" Madina spoke agitatedly. The more she listened to Bushra's wails, the faster her heart pounded riotously.
'It's my parents, Madina. They want to marry me off to… Sadiq. That animal! I hate him! I hate his face! I hate everything about him!" She bellowed angrily. 'And that stupid Mahir had the audacity to ask me to marry him after what he had done. What do they all take me as? A toy?" She cried out. Her voice was filled with distress and agony.
'Bushra, calm down now, okay? Everything's going to be okay, all right?" Madina tried to assure her with her voice but Bushra shook her head coarsely as though Madina was in front of her. 'How can I calm down when my father is about to marry me off to my worst nightmare if I don't present a husband in less than two weeks? How can I keep myself from going insane with that thought?" Bushra was crying her eyes out as she spoke. The thoughts rushed back to her and her heart thumped severely.
'You said Mahir proposed to you, right?" She asked Bushra – an idea popping into her mind. 'Now's not the time to talk about him, Madina. I need a solution to get out of this. Should I run away?" Bushra asked and Madina almost laughed. 'Oh, common, Bushra. You're not going anywhere. And… I was thinking… just hear me out, okay? It might sound stupid, but why don't you accept Mahir's proposal? At least he's better than Sadiq in many ways. And you guys can make an agreement if he really does want to marry you. You can set your rules, make boundaries and afterwards, maybe you guys might have a happy ending…"
Bushra felt light-headed and a bit oriented. Her mind began buzzing with Madina's voice. 'I'll call you back." She ended the call and searched for Mahir number in her phone.
She inhaled in deeply and exhaled out, forcing herself to come back to her senses. Bushra mumbled under her breath as she stared at her phone screen through her blood-shot eyes. She hoped she wasn't going to regret it because as Madina said – she'd rather marry him than end up with Sadiq. At least she could set some boundaries with him before she agrees to marry him.
She began typing away on her phone.
‘I have thought about your proposal not because of any impassioned motives. My only reason is because I am in somewhat the same dilemma as you are, so I want to meet with you and discuss about it, but – with my lawyer to set some policies and sign a contract. Take it or leave it! It's up to you!'
She closed her eyes and tapped send. She heard the tone of the message being delivered. She gently opened her eyes – and just before she kept the phone, his reply popped up.