Chapter 41: Your Chance.

After so many hours, she finally crawled out of bed and sauntered into the bathroom to freshen up. It was a Thursday which meant she had work but instead, she called in sick—for the fourth time that week. She had no vigor or zeal to go to work anymore. All she does is wake up, cry over Mahir wholly vanishing and wiping her out of his life for two whole weeks, eat if her morning sickness allows her to, throw up afterwards and cry more about her already-derelict marriage.
It was so hard for Bushra to hide anything now. For over 14 days, she has entirely shutdown everything and anyone—including work. She doesn't care if she loses her job—the job she loved so dearly, the job she doesn't care draining herself for.
The moment Mahir stepped foot out of the house, it was as if he left together with her energy and soul. It was just her body walking around the room and crying out the pain it manages to highlight.
She plumps down on the edge of the bed, wishing she could turn the hands of the clock. She wished to make things differently. She wished she could take back everything she had said and everything she had done. She blames herself for everything because it's all her fault he has left to an unknown place.
She massages her temple, trying to make the throbbing pain diminish. It felt as though her head would split in two. It was past noon and she hadn't eaten anything yet. She was dehydrated and feeling sick as usual.
She lay back on the bed and hugged her pillow. She was trying so hard to stop herself from crying—it was hard. She couldn't hold it. She misses him so badly and all she needed was to see him at least—even if he wasn't going to say anything to her.
It really sucks how he's the only person who can make her feel better yet the reason she's always crying.
She misses him—she's missing him so much that it's hurting her. She couldn't stop thinking about them and what they could've been. The heartache she gets from him not being in her arms is killing her. She wants him by her side and not haunting her dreams with his absence. She misses how he cared for her. She misses how he comforts her whenever she rants about being stressed out, telling her it was going to be okay. She misses how loving he was. She misses his soft touch and gentle hugs. She misses his heartbeat drawing her to sleep. She misses his laugh, his face, his deep thoughtful eyes. She misses their cuddles and enjoyable memories. She misses his lips on hers and their hearts closely interwined. She wished distance wasn't separating them. She wished the world wasn't keeping them apart. She wants him with her—so bad, beside her, reminding her how she matters to him.
Everything she does reminds her of him. Everything she sees reminds her of him. How does she move on if he decides to leave her and never return? It's already difficult waking up every day knowing that he's not here with her. She was so used to waking up to his kisses and loving words that it was hard for her to even leave her bed.
The worst part was when something amazing happens and the one person you want to tell isn't there anymore. She misses him so much. Her heart bleeds his name whether it was 3AM or 3PM.
What if she never gets over him? What if she continues to wake up every day of her life and want him so badly that her bones shake so much that they feel like they're going to break?
What if she keeps waiting for a call or a text or a sign from God that never comes?
What if he has gotten over her while she's here grieving over his absence?
'Salamu Alaikum, Adda Bushra? Subahanallahi, is everything alright?" Yasmin rushed over to the bed as Bushra sat up, wiping away her tears. 'Yasmin? I thought you were going back to New York today? Is it today or tomorrow?" Bushra smiled through her tears, trying to pretend as though she wasn't just crying her eyes out.
'Next week. What happened, Adda? Why has your phone been off for days and why did you tell the guard to not allow anyone in?"
She had told the safeguards to inform anyone that comes that she wasn't home. She was surprised that Yasmin managed to have access into the house. 'Oh… I was just… work…" she stuttered. She couldn't even form a lie that quick.
'I'm really terrified, Adda. What's wrong? You look so messed up. Where's Mahir?" Yasmin spoke agitatedly. She was so bothered by the appearance of Bushra. Her body had told her something wasn't right and she believed it. For the past three days she has been coming to the house but couldn't gain access. She went to Bushra's working place that same day just to find out her sister called in sick.
'I'm just… sick. But I've gone to the hospital and I'm on drugs, okay?" Bushra was trying to hard to hold back her tears and convince Yasmin that she was fine. She couldn't—she was going to break down any second.
'I'm here for you, Adda. You know I will always be here for you know matter what. What you can't just call in sick at work, and refuse to let your guards allow anyone in and expect me to believe you're just sick. What going on? I am dead scared…"
'I'm pregnant…" like a dam from a river, she burst into tears as she collapsed into her sister's arms. 'I'm two months pregnant, Yasmin and the father of the child doesn't even want it. He left me here alone for over two weeks and never showed up since I told him I'm pregnant. Everything has been so, so hard for me… the morning sickness, the loneliness, his absence…" her body wracked with an onslaught of sobs and tears.
Yasmin's heart sank. She held Bushra in her arms, unable to move an inch. Her throat tightened as her eyes welled up with tears. 'Are you talking about Mahir? I don't… I don't understand, Adda… what's happening?"
Bushra frees herself from her hold and sat upright. She wiped her tears and sniffed. 'Mahir doesn't want the baby, Yasmin. Everything is so messed up and it's all my fault. Everything is my fault… and now I may or may not get my husband back," she told her wretchedly.
'How on earth is this your fault when your own husband is refusing to accept his own child?" Yasmin spoke angrily. She was so pissed.
'Yasmin, calm down now. Everything is just complicated, it's not that simple."
'How? Why are you defending him? He neglected you and his unborn baby—alone! What if something had happened to you while he's gone? Look at you, Adda… look at how you've changed and look miserable."
Bushra grabs Yasmin's hands as she looked down. 'I can't tell you what's between me and Mahir but, believe me when I say it's all my fault. He has every right to be angry with me… my concern is his whereabouts…"
'Who cares about his whereabouts? He's not a small kid, wherever he is, I am sure he's fine. And didn't you guys discuss about having family?"
Bushra shook her head as she raises her head up to look at her. 'I told, it's not that simple, Yasmin. The only thing I need you to do is pray for me. Pray he comes back to me, and please… do not tell anyone about this or the pregnancy. I haven't told anyone about it…"
'Adda Bushra…"
'Yasmin," she called out sternly. Yasmin heaved a sigh and hesitantly nodded. 'I'm not convinced but I won't tell anyone. You should call Aunty and Madina, they've been worried sick about you."
**
'It's like I don't… I'm not significant to her. Because if I was important, she wouldn't have done what she did, right? I am sick and tired of her and her attitude…"
'So, you want to split up or what?" Mansur cuts in, giving him a revolting look. Mahir has been in his office for over half an hour, ranting about Bushra. He was yet to understand why Mahir was upset with her to the extent of talking about being tired of her.
'I did not say that, Mansur. But if that's the case, so be it," He declares and rests his back on the chair. He was so pissed, so miffed that he had no choice but to open up to the only person he trusts. He couldn't wrap a finger on why Bushra was behaving that way, why she sent someone to manipulate him into sleeping with her and then asking for a divorce when they merely have two months left.
Now, she's pregnant—with his child.
It was all too much for him to take in at once. How could she get pregnant when they've made an agreement on it?
'Could please… just elaborate on why you're pissed that your wife was acting up because she is pregnant which it totally explains why she's moody and then the part where she set you up with a friend of hers… I want to hear it again."
Mahir hissed faintly and turned his head away. He knew Mansur was being sarcastic and he was backing Bushra on everything that he had told her. 'Look, Mansur, it's complicated…"
'Try me," he urged him.
'No, you will think I am insane or we are insane…" Mahir sighed out of frustration. He had never told anyone about the contract. He didn't intend on telling anyone, not even Mansur that he trusts so much. But it seems like his only way out is by coming clean to him and asking for his help.
'What is the worst that could happen…"
'We signed a contract to split after a year and now we have less than two months left," he blurts out, leaving Mansur in total shock.
'What?!" He said vociferously after recovering from his shock. 'What do you mean by you guys signed a contract? A Marriage Contract? A year? Less than two months—what the hell?"
Mahir heaved another sigh as he rubbed his eyes. 'Look, I didn't bring up the idea, she did. My only contribution was signing, because I was desperate to get married to her…"
'Hold on, she forced you to sign a contract? I don't believe that, Mahir. You're too domineering to be controlled and too conceited to be desperate."
'Believe me, I was. It's either her or those plastic girls Abba kept sending to my office. So, I chose her. because we were in somewhat in the same kind of dilemma. We agreed to sign the contract under some policies which we ended up breaking. One of the rules include not making love and we did… and… she's pregnant… we only have less than two months to split up."
Mansur could swear his jaws dropped to the floor. His heart sunk to his stomach as the world around him come to a halt. His best friend has been hiding this kind of implausible secret from him.
'The only way out is to split up. And I am willing to do that, despite knowing that I…"
'Love her? Carrying your child? Are you out of your God damn mind, Mahir?! Are you just going to abandon her with a your child growing in her just because of a stupid contract you guys signed?"
'We made an agreement, Mansur. It's what she wants…"
'How sure are you that's what she wants?"
'I… I don't care, Mansur. I don't give a damn about her or… I just want out of the marriage…"
'Because she's done her part? You've gotten what you wanted? She's of no use now, right?" Mansur lets out an excruciating laugh. He wasn't surprised by Mahir's behavior. He was fond of manipulating people into trusting him and breaking them into pieces afterwards.
'Listen carefully, Mahir; One day you're going to see her holding hands with someone who would take your chance. She won't even notice you because she'll be too busy laughing with the stupid jokes he'd make. And it will burn your heart seeing that beautiful smile on her face and realizing you're not the reason anymore. And then it will finally hit you: it was her, it was always her… it will be too late if you play with your chance."