Rules To Break
The chapter of my life spent with Dillon felt like a fantastical journey. During that phase, we were in the experimental stage of life, blending the available hues to create a fusion—either something incredibly imaginative and desirable to every eye and ear, or its complete opposite.
Drawn by the vibrant, rich, milk-and-honey hues of teenage life and inspired by the stories circulating at school, enticing gossips from friends, elder cousins, and society acquaintances, I summoned the courage to experiment with my life. I embraced rebellion, a path not uncommon for someone of my age.
Akin to many of my peers, I chose the most vivid colors, fully aware of the potential harm to myself. Risking everything, I metaphorically put a pot on the stove, boiling water, and added the hues I had gathered. I let them stir while I observed, witnessing them transform into a toxic poison. I immersed myself in it, feeling the poison slip over my body, saturating me entirely as it began to corrode every inch of my being.
I witnessed my skin burning in its acidic nature, my flesh revealing itself and slowly suppuration setting in, exposing bones until all that remained was the dust of my former self. I understand this imagery is heart-wrenching and might be nauseating to read—forgive me for that. But that's precisely what Dillon's love had done to me. It wasn't me that endured, but the remnants of my shattered self left behind in the end.
Regrettably, there was no one around to pick me up from the ground, salvage my grains, place them in a pot, and preserve any fragment of what was once me. Sadly, I had no one to blame for what happened, as it was the result of my own personal choices and decisions.
I emphasize once again: unstable, impulsive commitments made during teenage years are akin to online shopping. Never expect the products to match your expectations, as they are meant to break your heart with the final outcome you receive.
I knew I wouldn't be able to turn back to my parents if Dillon betrayed me. However, blinded by my own choices, I walked on the tightrope with my eyes closed. Not being adept at such stunts, I fell harder than I could have imagined. I was broken, like a glass that couldn't be put back together. The shock Dillon had given me surpassed the impact experienced by a mental patient receiving electric shocks.
The very core of my existence was rattled by what I had witnessed in the darkness of the night.
The dilemma of whether to thank God for unveiling the true nature of this snake or to cry over the consequences of my immature and impulsive decisions overwhelmed me. I spent the entire night and the following day in tears, weeping out my remorse until my eyes were swollen and my throat was sore.
"Why did I deserve this?" I questioned God, sobbing. I had been loyal to Dillon, leaving behind my parents, their love, and everything I had. "What did I get in return?"
Initially, everything seemed to be going well between us. Dillon left for work around 8 am and returned home after 6 pm. During his absence, I spent the entire day alone. While I took care of household chores, cooking wasn't my forte, so in the beginning, Dillon would prepare meals before leaving, or we would occasionally go out for dinners.
I immersed myself in reading and writing, with scribbling my daily life events in my diary becoming a cherished habit. Poetry also became an outlet for my emotions. During the times I was away from Dillon, I missed him intensely—his touch against my skin, his breath brushing my body, his tongue exploring my form, and his lips pressed against mine. I began to capture these moments in the form of verses.
I had aspirations to compile those poetic expressions into a book, a testament to our shared fantasies. However, circumstances took a turn against us.
We encountered disagreements, as any couple does. Some were minor, swiftly resolved. Others involved clashes of opinions, yet we managed to find common ground through mutual understanding. Then, there was that one day—a fight that escalated to the point of silence, ignoring each other, and resorting to separate rooms. I claimed his room, and he retreated to our tiny living room, the sofa becoming his makeshift bed for the next few days.
After two days of emotional distance, we somehow adapted and reunited. I decided to make amends. I ordered his favorite food, adorned our room with scented candles and rose petals. I took a luxurious bath, shaved my body, and wore the black silk maxi dress I had recently purchased. I wanted to make this night special for him—a night that would be memorable for both of us.
I had even planned to break some of our rules tonight, particularly the second one: not to engage in sexual activities. Lately, I had come to realize that physical intimacy could strengthen our relationship. Having read in an article about the five ways to have a successful relationship, I believed that sex was a key element in making it a success.
I made the decision to break the rule and engage in intimate intercourse tonight. It was a step I had never taken in the months we had been together, and I was glad that he respected my decision. I wanted to give him this night as a reward for his patience, loyalty, and love. I carefully made the bed, scattering rose petals on it as well.
Earlier in the morning, he had informed me that he would be coming home late tonight due to a party one of his friends had arranged. As I waited for him, standing in front of the mirror, I observed my reflection. A thin, delicate figure stared back at me, exuding youthfulness from every curve. Lifting the black gown from my legs, sparkles of glamour glittered and blinded my vision. I envisioned him caressing and licking the glamour off my legs, his fingers exploring every part of me as he undressed my body until I stood naked in front of him.
In my imagination, I could see him loving me, kissing me, reciprocating as I undressed him. His body twisted around my curves, his hands entwined in my hair, and mine around his veiny chalice as I caressed his youthful manhood like a trophy.
As the silver hour of the night approached, the fountain of youth arose between his thighs, and my fantasies unraveled, leaving us drenched in a moment so precious and intense. We kissed, and the universe was on the brink of exploding when I heard the main door shutting with a loud bang.