15. Overcomplicated

I hated myself for being such a coward when we met my brothers at lunchtime. I did not expect them to recognized Brice behind his subtle disguise, though I don't think they did. I know they've seen my shrine back at my apartment, they mocked me for it but didn't question it further.

They somehow think that my current obsession with my honey bun bun was to direct my sadness and guilt from Gwen's death. Some part of it was true, aside from Brice actually is a very good author. But I was afraid of the possibility when they know that I was dating and getting intimate with my honey bun bun at the same time.

Those two goons can be very protective, I can still recall what happened back at mom and dads when my cowboy buddies get too close. I have to separate them like they were in some school fight.

My brothers will surely find out if they stayed and chatted longer, and I didn't like the suspense to the point that I wanted to come clean to Brice. Since then, my mind was going on an overdrive weighing my decision whether to tell him or not.

I know he has never been one of those celebrities who like their picture taken, he has always been the private kind. All his dates who made it to the public eyes were famous people. I've discussed the issue in his fans club chats, pointing out my opinion that he was hiding the commoners or the possibility that he didn't date commoners at all.

But after having spent some time with him, I was sure that he was keeping his relationship under the limelight and thinking his other dates are set up for his celebrity image, for popularity.

But then I thought, he did meet me on a dating app, and the fact did bother me to the point that my mind went extra wild with the guess that maybe he was researching about his new upcoming book on how to date a virgin from a dating app.

"...but tell me one thing first, are you serious when you asked me about hiding my relationship from my family? ...insinuating that we're in a relationship?" I finally asked him, my mind would go crazy if I didn't.

"Ella, I haven't connected with someone like you in years. I told you that I like you, right? that I want to spend these two weeks with you?" his questions and kisses were fuzzing my mind and I didn't realize that we were already in his bed.

"Yeah, you did..." my reply came out meekly when he was tracing his hand under my dress and teasing his fingers over my panties.

"You don't have to tell me anything..."

"Yeah?" I moaned the moment his fingers reach under my panties and find my wetness.

He chuckled sexily when he heard my throaty reply, but continue to kiss the side of my neck, just under my ear.

"...honestly Ella, unless you're a stalker, can we postpone this talk? I want you so bad, you smell you good, baby, and I can't wait to have my real dessert, I know it's going to be really moist by now."

I whimpered from his dirty talk while he kept on fingering me, kissing, and licking my sensitive spot on the crook of my neck.

Stalker? oh, fuck?
Did he know?
Shit! Ella, you're screwed.

"Stalker?"

"It's a long story..." he was unbuttoning my dress and easily throw it to his lush carpet as if he needs to get me naked soonest possible.

"Baby, are you okay?" he was being a sweetheart when he stopped and looked at me.

"Yeah, sorry...I didn't realize that being famous comes with a stalker." My heart was shredded to pieces, I know already that my thing with Brice was not real, that it was just a phase for him. But I didn't expect that it'll end sooner than later.

"Hey, I'm sorry, come here...I didn't mean to alarm you," he kissed my hair and pulled me onto his chest where I sighed thinking should I just tell him the truth, ripped the bandage, and get it over with.

"I was engaged three years ago, she passed away, there was an incident with my stalker." His words cut deep into my heart, he hated stalkers. Despised them.

"Brice..." ...I am one, a stalker.

"Ella, you don't have to say it, you know how it feels...to lose someone,"

"You blamed yourself."

It was a statement, not a question. I know I was right, losing Gwen had made me live in guilt for years. The feeling would still surface and now, knowing he was exactly like me, and worse caused by a stalker, I know I had to end things right there and then.

"See, this is what I like about you...you seemed to know me so well."

I am, since I'm your stalker-fan

He didn't push anything further, we just lay cuddling on his bed until we both fall asleep and take the quiet afternoon to nap.

The room was dark and cold when I unintentionally snuggled closer to his side. He shifted, put his arms around me, and pull my half-naked body to his fully clothed one.

"Hey, you're freezing," he took the covers and put them over our bodies.

"Stay here, I'll make us some hot coffee."

"Brice?"

"Yeah?"

"Kiss me?"

The dark and cold room sets the mood of our intimacy, he was kissing me slowly and I was kissing him back sensually. He was striping himself naked and I was doing the same.

Foreplay was excruciatingly slow, yet we both were taking our time. We know something had shifted between us and we needed to slow down. There were no exchanged words, only our deep moans, low grunts, and finally the earth-shattering climax.

He was still inside me, pumping his cum, filling the condom, while I was climbing down from my climax, pulsating, finishing him to his last drops.

Our kisses were slow, our eyes were connecting, his hands were all over my body, and my legs were wrapping his body tighter.

We were having a hard time letting go of each other, somehow we know, somehow we figure it out that we had made a deeper connection than just sex.

Our closeness was continued with dinner at his place where we talked mostly about work, keeping the conversation light and casual.

We didn't talk about our plans, and I didn't want him to. I know I have to stop seeing him, I know that night was going to be my last night with him.

And I know exactly that I have fallen deeper in love with him and it didn't matter if it was a one-sided kind, cause I know I have been cherished by him for the short amount of time that we're together.

I know he would be the only one I ever love, and not just because he's my honey bun bun, but I have gotten to know him better, he is a very nice, charming, and loveable man.

He deserves better.

"Ella?" he pulled me back when he handed me my glass of wine from dinner.

"Hey," I put on my flirty smile and told him that we should do a movie night.

"That's a good idea,"

He grabbed the remote, blanket and draped his arm around my shoulder pulling me closer to his side as we cozy up on the sofa.

"I like this,"

"Me too," I smiled when he kissed my temple and continue to find a good movie to watch.

We drink our wine and binge on some old movies from the nineties. We laughed and I was scared of a couple of horror movies that he insist me on watching.

"Seriously, Ella, I've been putting you on a pedestal. Seems like I need to train you for more horror movies."

I slapped his chest playfully when The Ring was making my heart jump too many times and he was making it worst with his whispers, playing me, scaring me, telling me that his building might be haunted.

But that night he did calm me down with his kisses and his superb naked posture. We had sex again, the calming kind, and I fell asleep in his arms though I was not wanting the night to end easily knowing his stalker issue and the fact that I will need to end things for us.

I was up a couple of times during my sleep, I was restless for the next day, tried to close my eyes several times until I gave up, decided to get out of bed, get dressed quietly, and leave my honey bun bun who was still sleeping peacefully.

I love you.
I'm so sorry.