Chapter 25 Anger and wrath

Rachael drove her mother's wheelchair through the peaceful boulevard while Chloe trailed from behind. The last time they went out for a walk wasn't as miserable as this. Most times Britney didn't concede to any of the thrilling things around and it shattered Rachael's heart.

"Mum" she called and Mrs. Britney humphed a response "look, nostalgia roses. Remember when you said you have always wanted to see one" Rachael pointed out with a smile on her face, but Mrs. Britney was too unstable to even let out a smile.

Chloe's eyes saddened as she gazed upon Rachael who equally had a hopeless frown on her face.

"So rare and beautiful," Mrs. Britney said raspily which was followed by a dry cough.

"Yes, they are"Chloe smiled.

"I want to go back, my back hurts from sitting too long" Mrs. Britney complained and Rachael nodded. They had only been here for not up to 10 minutes. This awakened the reality that her mother's vitality was gradually slipping away.

"Okay let's go" Rachael swirled the wheelchair around and they all went back to the mansion.

*********
Rachael woke up from sleep that night with an acute taste of water. She slipped out of her bed, rubbing her eyes which were sleepy, and yearned for sleep. She dragged her slippers-coated feet to the kitchen to get water. Subsequently savoring the water, she was about to leave, but heard a sigh from the dining not too far from the kitchen. Out of curiosity she went to check it out herself and was surprised to find Xavier with a bottle of tequila plunged into his mouth.

With furrowed eyebrows, she got closer, close enough for her to be noticed by him. He looked at her briefly but soon returned to his business like she wasn't there.

He took another gulp of the drink squinting his eyes like a mode of punishment. Rachael rushed to where he was and pulled the bottle from his grip while he coughed, trying to recoup his breathing.

"What are you doing?" She snapped at him, laying the drink on the table.

Xavier looked up at her with besotted eyes. He stretched his hands towards the drink again, but Rachael withdrew it. "There a drink stand over there" he made her aware of that and how promptly he could grab another one if she decided to hold on to that bottle.

"I didn't know you to be a boozer," she asked in a more concerned tone.

He chuckled. "Why do you care?" he slurred at her.

"Xavier, what happened? Drowning your sorrows in a bottle won't take it away"

"It works for me" he shrugged.

"Xavier what happened," she asked again. This time, hoping to get an answer, but he just gaped at her for a while which made her slightly anxious.

"When I was a kid, my mother would always say “Anybody can become angry — that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way — that is not within everybody's power and is not easy." He paused, taking deep breaths.

"At that time, my father was a strict man, despised anything that wasn't in orderliness. He would hurt anyone who went against his rules. Including my mother. He shot her one day and on the death bed my mother told me" he placed his palm on his forehead with his elbows on the table. "She told me I should never be like my dad. I promised her that, thinking it was going to be easy, but that was wrong. Each day that passes, I have this wrath, coursing through my veins and eating me up from the inside"

Rachael said nothing as she dropped the drink back in front of him. " Here, finish the whole bottle let's see if you forget everything tomorrow or have a bad hangover instead," she said to him. He pressed his lips together not reaching his hand for the bottle.

"You see you know the answer. Drinking doesn't solve anything. Would you rather talk about it instead?"

"No," he replied truthfully. He would rather let the anguish eat him deeply than get another person's empathy. His father trained him that way_ a cruel way_. Xavier grew up used to keeping his pain inward_zipping it up.

"Okay, I respect that" Rachael nodded." If You don't want to be like your father? don't be like him"

"It's not that easy"

"It's never easy. There is another saying about anger too. “Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all” At the end of the day, the bitterness doesn't do anything, rather it just stays there pricking on your heart like thorns. The best way to soothe it is just to let it go" she consoled, but what she didn't know was that her words didn't improve Anything.

If only it was that easy. Xavier was too deep in it. Everything around him screamed gloom. He had no expectation of perpetually beholding a piece of light amidst the darkness. VATOS LOCOS was the core of it all. He was too deep in it and it coursed through his blood like vermin. Whenever he looked into his life, he regrets the man he became_ just like his father_ cold and disgruntled.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" he stood up, taking the bottle of wine from her as he shut it and placed it back on the wine stand.

"I got thirsty. I should I ask you the same question"

"Sometimes I get acute insomnia like now" he confessed truthfully..

Rachael furrowed her eyes. "Have you tried seeing a therapist?"

"You mean a sleep specialist. No"

"Why?"

"Because it comes and goes" he shrugged like it wasn't important. He didn't care about that.

Rachael shook her head as she yawned. "I think I need to go back to sleep"

" So soon?"

Rachael narrowed her eyes. "I didn't realize you were enjoying your company"