73

Aurora

I arrived before even Shelly which had been my intent as I started skinning rabbits and separating the various parts to use for the dishes I wanted to prepare. I was humming “Will you go lassie go.” to myself happily as I moved through the task. Batching things together when Shelly found me.

She observed me at my work for a moment before pushing past me to her counter where she began whipping up pancake batter and scrambled eggs. I smiled and I found the tune escaping through my voice, picking up a bit of my father’s Scottish accent as I let out the song freely. Shelly joined in. When Nesssa came through adding her alto to the mix as well while she worked at toasting bread and laying out the apples and oranges, and moving the platters onto the buffet counter. As the pack began trickling in smiling at the chorus of women who greeted them. Some joined in, a harmonica sounded, and a harmony resounded deep into a void I didn’t know I had. The wolf seemed to pur in her slumber as she curled tightly around my soul where his soul also resided. I let my voice grow and wrap in a tranquil fluidity with the others.

Still lost in the rhythm of the song and my work as I seasoned and bathed the game in things that would pull the gaminess out of the meat. I felt my mate nearing and when he looked me in the eyes the same instant my gaze met his my voice stopped. Was this unbecoming of a Luna? Had I reached too far too fast? ‘Don’t stop on my account this is the best feeling I have ever had walking up in search of breakfast, you are a natural Luna, the harmony of your people is everything. Just let it out and be you, you complete us all.

I cleared my throat as the song had dropped out of existence and I Picked up a new tune “I Love a Lassie,” As I stared into Evander’s eyes, his gaze approving, other voices joined mine and he gave me a bow as he passed through the line disappearing into his, no our people. I continued to work as we all sang, My heart swelled. I’d changed the tune-up here and there, the others followed. My Dad had been my rock, my Mom fueled my spirit, and we often sang as we tended the gardens. My bare hands in the earth pulling the debris away so that something beautiful could take hold. My throat clenched and my voice faltered. So I changed the song to the mood of my heart. My voice sang the tune without the words. ‘Oh Rowan tree,’ The women picked up the melody the men joining in hesitantly before a deep baritone voice rose with the words that gutted me. My eyes glistened. Blake’s voice joined Evanders the tears leaking from his eyes. He hadn’t been able to properly say goodbye to them. I hadn’t been able to sing the words myself at their funeral. I was too numb and too weak after a week knocked out by the nightmare I was stuck reliving. Too shell shocked. But, I had sung it for her, at my father's passing and for my mother, within those moments I had relived, over and over again lost to my mind. It was me who held on to that tragic memory. And here I was setting it free. Finally, at this moment I was free, their final prayers answered,

Their voices came forward as I worked, tears still falling all over the deer meat I was slicing thinly for jerky the pack still humming along a few bold voices like mine just following the tune. I could almost feel them all clinging to my emotions but I had to finish the song. This was so public, so unexpected, raw. Their voices soothed me and supported me an ache throbbed deep inside to be connected with them further. And as Evander wrapped his arms around me singing the last sorrowful words into my ear as we swayed, a strangled sob escaped me before he spun me pulling me into the comfort of his chest. Nessa’s slight fingers slipped the knife from my fingers, Whispering “I got this Luna,” and I properly hugged Evander back, ignoring the deer meat on my hands. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “Nothing to be sorry for,” he said, stroking my hair. He pulled me away from him but before I could protest another set of strong arms encompassed me, I sobbed again, It was Blake who hadn’t been there, Blake who didn’t get to say goodbye. I had forgiven him but the wounds still ached. And his had sat dormant and unhealed for too long. The dampness of his tears fell into my hair. ‘Thank you for holding on to them when I was too weak to bear it,” he murmured. I shuddered. He moved me walking away from everyone. Evander stayed, a pang in his heart over letting me walk away like this, but he realized this moment was essential for us both, and we needed each other.

With one arm around me, Blake ushered me to the river. To the sounds of nature and internal peace. My brother knew me well. We both let out a breath as we plopped down on a log. “I know you don’t want me to but I want to see it, what happened to them, I have been a coward for too long. I need to know what happened.” He urged. “Blake,” I croaked. “It wasn’t an accident. They were targeted. You don’t want to see this, I don’t want you to feel this.” I pleaded. The thing with Blake and I was that we were once so close we could feel the other's memories, and feelings if we chose to share them. Our aunt knew about how we could interact within each other's minds but didn’t tell anyone, she let it be our secret. Said one day we would need each other to be whole. I let out a long weary sigh. “Go ahead, I've seen it enough,” was all I said.