TIME OF DEATH

I stared blankly at these two red stripes that had earlier been lying in front of my sight. I don’t know what to think first right now; this new situation where I am right now or Levi. He left the city yesterday to go to Tierra Fima and he wants me to come with him but the situation did not allow me. And now, I don’t know what to do. Should I tell him right away or just wait for him to come back so we can talk in person?
“What are you gonna do right now? I told you, you should’ve use protection!” Rafa hissed right when she arrived at my unit with Yerim.
I just covered my face because of the strength of her voice.
“How else can they use protection, everything was all of a sudden. Duh!” Yerim said to her and I even saw her stare at the absence.
I just followed her gaze as she took those five pregnancy tests and stared intently.
“Are you going to tell him, Rae? Shouldn’t you talk in person,” she casually told me without looking at me.
I had trouble getting up and picked up my cellphone when it rang because of a call. When I saw who the caller is, I immediately answered it. I first told the two not to make noise.
“Hey,” he called me with his raspy voice that made me heave a deep sigh.
I feel like I suddenly missed him so much.
"Hi, how are you?" I asked him.
I looked at the pregnancy test when Yerim laid it on the round table. That made me sigh even more.
“What’s wrong? Why do you seem in trouble?” He asked me again.
I went to my room because I was distracted by these two that simply signaled me to say that. I crawled on the bed and immersed myself in the mattress when I felt dizzy again.
“I just missed you. Have you been there long?” I could no longer hide the sadness in my voice when I asked that.
I suddenly want to slap myself for sounding like a needy girlfriend to him. I know he is also caught up in the situation of their farm and what happened to Dad Henry, and here I am adding to his thoughts.
“I honestly don’t know. Dad Henry is in critical condition as well as our farm. I don’t even know what to do anymore. I’m so tired,” he explained lazily to me and I could hear in his voice how tired he was.
I wondered if I would tell him about my condition now or later.
“Rest first, Lev. Everything’s gonna be alright,” I told him as I closed my eyes and take a deep breathe.
“I wish you were here with me right now. You’re my strength, Lumiere. What are you going to tell me?” he changed the subject so I immediately woke up.
I stared blankly at the ceiling of my room and think about it clearly. Maybe, next time will be fine. He will come back or I can just go there when mama is well.
I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes again. It’s still 5 o’clock in the afternoon, yet I’m so sleepy. I'm not like this.
"It's nothing. Please, take care of yourself there. I love you, Levi.”
Right after I said that, I heard him whisper some curses so my forehead furrowed. I leaned over and hugged myself while I could still hear his heavy breathing.
“Why? Did something happen?" I asked when I heard he had stopped.
“Just... I just find it addicting. This is the first time you said that to me. We've been together for a few months, Lumiere, you just said you love ‘me,” seriously, but I could still hear his hoarse voice.
I couldn’t stop myself from smiling because of what he said. I hugged myself even more because I miss him so much right away. Not even a day has passed but I feel like it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other.
“Just do what I said. Rest well, I’ll see you soon,” I said goodbye to him because I felt drowsy again.
“Thank you for everything. Thank you for coming into my life. I owe you a lot and I’m willing to do everything to make this lasts. I miss you so much,” he told and we bid goodbye to each other.
When that ‘call’ ended I calmly fell asleep because I was feeling the weight of what I was carrying earlier. When I spoke to him, it suddenly disappeared. I know I don’t have to worry about anything else because I know everyone will accept this, and I’m really thankful for that.
I was stunned when I heard a series of slams on my bedroom door. It was gone for a while but when I heard it again I quickly got up to open up to whoever this ‘visitor’ was. I'm still sleeping for pete's sake!
"What! I am sleeping— ”
“Rae! Auntie's been calling you since earlier! Where is your cellphone?” Yerim shouted at me. She looks furious. Looks like something bad happened here.
"Why? I fell asleep so I didn't— ”
“Ari is in the hospital, my god! We need to hurry up!” she shouted at me again and at that moment, it was as if cold water was being poured on me.
Before I could react, she pulled me out with Rafa. I couldn’t even speak because I didn’t know what to do first! What's happening?!
“W-wait! What's going on? Why in the hospital? I left my phone, just wait,” I hysterically said to them and was about to get out of Rafa's car but Yerim stopped me.
“Fuck that cellphone, Rae! Ari is fifty-fifty and auntie needs you right now!”
Suddenly my heart pounded for a minute. I don’t know what happened next. I feel like that time has suddenly stopped and I am confused looking back and forth between the two of them. Ari s whar? I didn't even understand it clearly. Why are they acting like this ?!
I could feel the coldness all over my body as we crossed the hallway of the hospital where my brother and mom were. As soon as I saw her outside the emergency room, crying and almost squatting there, I stopped in my tracks. I fainted when I saw my mother's dress full of blood. It was as if something had suddenly exploded inside me and I could no longer understand what was happening around me.
My knees began to tremble. I could feel my tears pouring down one after another and it was as if I was slowly dying of extreme pain. What's happening?
“W-what... what happened? Why is there blood? Ma? W-where is Arthur? What's with the blood all over you? ” I kept asking her when I got closer.
I forcefully wiped away my tears and cursed repeatedly when she did not answer me. She was only looking in one direction so I followed her gaze.
It was as if I was going crazy with extreme pain when I saw my brother lying in the hospital bed, bloody face as well as his head, while being revived by the doctor and nurses. I still didn’t understand anything so I immediately headed in the direction where my unconscious brother was.
“D-doc, what happened? Why?" I asked them and at the second time, no one answers me again that made me cry even more.
“W-what's going on ?! Can... oh, god! Can someone explain it to me? Whar?! Arturo! Wake up, your sister is here. Why are you...”
“Rae, calm down, please. Something might happen to you and your baby,”I heard Yerim whisper to me so I cried even more when I heard that, but she didn’t get my attention.
Instead I stared at this doctor when he suddenly stopped what he was doing. I could feel my body stiffen when I heard the last thing he said.
"Time of death, 7:45 PM."
I couldn’t move my whole body when I heard that. The next thing I saw was mama's quick approach to Arthur and her deadly cry. I tried to calm myself and be neutral. I was gripped in my stomach as I felt the relentless pain there because of my restraint from crying. I still don't understand.
“W-why are you crying? He’s fine, right? She was just kidding, he's okay! She's fine! Maybe she just stumbled so much... a-a lot of blood. I've been talking to her lately! I asked her how is she and she told me she was fine, so why are you crying ?!”
I couldn’t stop my loud moan when I said that. I could feel Yerim's grip on me as I almost collapsed from exhaustion.