Chapter 131: Taran

The reunion with my sister is both wonderful and gut-wrenchingly emotional. We cling to each other, holding tight for several long moments before pulling away, tears shimmering in both of our eyes. I laugh as I look at her. Diogo is right, we are so very similar. She's taller and curvier. Her hair has less red in it than mine, more of a rich auburn, but other than those differences we are very alike. Eyes are the same, bone structure, mannerisms. The years apart haven't changed us that much, at least not physically.
"Tell me what's been going on," Skye demands, stepping further into the apartment. "Where is my nephew? I've been dying to meet him."
"In here," I say with a smile, leading her into the baby room. She immediately goes to the crib, her eyes wide with awe as she takes in her brand-new baby nephew.
"He's so fucking beautiful, Taran," she whispers, her voice shaking.
"I know," I agree and join her at the crib. "You don't need to whisper. He sleeps like a champ and only wakes up when he needs something. He's demanding but economical with his time, just like his father."
She laughs and reaches into the crib to touch him, running her fingertips over the soft fuzz of hair on his head. Slowly the smile disappears into a more serious look. "You named him after our brother."
"Yes, we did. Hopefully we can give Blaze the life our brother was denied."
She shakes her head. "This is such a tough world to live in. Impossible to find a normal. The best we can do is drift with the tides and settle whenever and wherever we can."
"I don't agree," I say, though without any sting to my words. "You make it sound like we're at the whimsy of fate, but you know better than anyone that we make do with what we're given. We create the world around us from the ashes of dead cities. Try to make life into something better, maybe something even approaching happiness."
"I suppose you're right," she looks up but her gaze is distant. "I did what I could with my life in the Santa Fe Sanctuary. I compromised with the Warlord, made him fall in love with me, helped run the fortress and city once I'd become a trusted member of the harem. Now... now I'm back to having nothing."
She falls silent, contemplative.
"You miss him," I say, knowing her thoughts linger on the husband she was forced to leave behind.
She nods. "Every day I miss him." Her eyes grow misty. "And every day his face gets a little fuzzier."
I touch her back and sidle a little closer, wrapping my arm around her waist. "That doesn't mean you loved him any less."
"I just feel..." she trails off and shrugs, "... like I owe him better than to just move on and forget what he did for me. He saved my life."
"Maybe he did, but he wouldn't want you to waste your precious life burying yourself in his grave."
She sighs and looks down at me. "What if I didn't love him enough? What if that's why I'm able to move on with my life? Sometimes I wonder if I would have chosen Silas if I'd had any real choice?"
"Only you can answer that, but I can tell that you loved him to the best of your ability. Because that's what you do. You love wholeheartedly and without reservation. He was a lucky man and he probably died knowing it. We do the best we can with what we're given in this world. It's a fucking miracle any of us are capable of compassion and love any more. But the fact that we are just shows how strong human resilience really is."
A tear trickles down her cheek and she lifts her arm to wrap it around my shoulders. "Thank you, Taran."
We stand in silence for a few minutes watching the sleeping baby and immersing ourselves in the fact that we're both alive. Though the odds have been against us time and again, we've both come through tragedy time and again to rise up stronger and more determined to survive than ever.
After a minute I ask her, "Tell me about that scary looking bodyguard watching your back? He seems pretty devoted. I heard he wouldn't even consider letting you come into the Sanctuary without him. Does he think something will happen to you under our care?" I try not to sound offended, but I am a little. Being the Warlord's wife does come with some perks, one of them being safe passage for my loved ones.
She sighs deeply. "Yeah, it's him, not you. He's weird, intense and about as deadly and bloodthirsty as any soldier I've ever seen. It's chilling to watch him handle the Primitives. He does not give any fucks about how deadly they are. Like he's daring them to bite him."
Even Diogo has the sense to respect the Death Kiss. I can't imagine not fearing the bite of a Primitive, and I have immunity to it. I don't know if that makes Skye's personal shadow very brave or very stupid. "What kind of a man willingly throws himself into danger like that?"
She shrugs. "I used to think he had a death wish. A Primitive once got into the city and trapped itself in the basement of an abandoned building. He went to dispatch the creature himself and I decided to accompany him. I don't know why I did it. I guess I sensed he had this attitude that the harem women belonged in the harem and I wanted to prove that I had the stomach for tougher jobs." She shudders as she recalls the memory. "It was horrible, not at all what I'd imagined. Before that moment, every time I'd had contact with a Primitive was in the heat of the moment, in battle. The creature was trapped behind a wall, weak and starving to death. Wolfe... he baited it. Held his arm out in front of it and watched with this cold expression as it threw itself against the wall over and over again trying to get at him. Finally, after a few minutes of torturing the poor thing he found a way to draw it out. He killed it so fast I was taken completely by surprise."
Picturing Wolfe I can believe Skye when she speaks of dispassionate torture. I've only ever seen his expression change once, when he was looking at Skye. I don't think he realized anyone was looking his way.
"Do you think he was torturing it for fun?" I ask hesitantly. I can't tell exactly where Skye stands on the issue of her protective bodyguard. She seems baffled by him, annoyed by his constant presence, but also resigned to having him near. But if he might pose a danger to her then I want to know. There's a big difference between killing out of necessity and killing for fun. If he's one of those people that loves the rush of death, then I don't trust him with my sister.
I remember back to when Diogo told me how much he enjoys the hunt, how he doesn't like going too long without killing. But Diogo was bred to kill. His entire purpose is to fight the enemy and rise to power. Is Wolfe any different? Am I being hypocritical for worrying about Wolfe's preoccupation with my sister?