Chapter 46: Taran

I squeeze out from behind Garrett and fling myself in front of him. He grabs my arm and tries to drag me back, but I dig my heels in and elbow him in the stomach, forcing him to drop his hand while he catches his breath. I might be small but I'm tough when it counts. Climbing around the city has given me a hidden strength most people underestimate.
"Taran." Xavier sounds satisfied to see me.
He can't have been the one who created the explosion on the wall. He wouldn't have been able to get into this sector so quickly. But he was certainly involved in the planning. My heart sinks as I realize this is the distraction he was talking about.
"Did you do this?" I ask, disgust clear in my voice. "Did you fuck with the wall just to get to me?"
He shakes his head. "Don't flatter yourself, Taran. I'm using the bomb as a distraction, but we've been planning this for a while. We need to get the Authority's attention, show them we can't be pushed aside or squashed like the pests Fuentes thinks we are."
"Well you did an excellent job there!" I snap. "All you've proved is that you're just as stupid as the Authority thinks, but even more dangerous than they thought. That you're willing to draw the attention of Primitives and bring them inside the walls, just for a little attention. And not good attention. I guarantee the cause will suffer from this idiotic move. If the Primitives don't kill us all, then Fuentes and his military certainly will. You've sunk the rebellion, Xavier."
Xavier paces forward a few steps. "Yes, the wall creates a vulnerability, and it will keep those assholes busy defending Sanctuary. It gives us an opportunity to make our move, overrun the city."
I've known he was getting more and more extreme over the past several years. Maybe it's why I drifted away from having a real relationship with him. Even though, in many ways, we'd be the ideal couple, passionate and driven by the same cause. But I'm turned off by his methods. He's too focused on his own goals to cultivate any kind of real friendship, let alone a romantic relationship.
He takes a step closer to me, pointing his finger as he says, "Your idealistic world doesn't exist, Taran. It never has. Passive resistance doesn't work."
Garret grips my shoulders and drags me back into his body. He's about to yank me back behind him, but Xavier lifts his gun and points it at me. Both Garrett and I freeze.
"She's coming with me, or you both die," Xavier snarls. "I'm losing patience."
"Promise you won't hurt him if I go with you?" I demand, tugging my arm from Garrett's grip. He lets me go. Maybe he knows that there's no way we can stand and fight all six of them together. That the best we can do is negotiate for his life.
I can't see his mouth, but I can see his eyes, and the look Xavier is giving me tells me everything I need to know. Without turning, I yell, "Run, Garrett!"
He doesn't run. Instead he shoves me so hard, I stumble and fall to the pavement, landing hard on my hands and knees. A shot cracks through the space, echoing off of the surrounding buildings. I shriek as blood hits me from behind and Garrett's body falls next to me, his gun clattering to the pavement.
"No, no, no!" Tears fill my eyes as I twist around, reaching for him.
It's too late. As I grip the material of his military jacket, I watch the life leave his eyes. His face goes slack under my shocked gaze. Tears splash down my face and hit my hands as I reach for his wound, intent on staunching the blood pouring from his neck. He was just doing his job, protecting me when Diogo isn't around. Now he's lost his life.
A hand grips my arm and I'm hauled to my feet. I swing around, flailing my fists toward Xavier as he drags me down the road, away from Garrett. He grabs hold of my fist, swinging me around to his front. He pauses for a minute, his cold blue eyes drilling into me. Then he lifts his gun and presses it to my temple.
"You want to stay behind with your man back there?"
"You motherfucker!" I snarl. "Do your worst."
It's foolhardy and stupid, but in this moment I don't care. I've always underestimated Xavier and his approach to the rebellion. Now a man I respect is dead and I'm being dragged away from my husband. Fire flashes in Xavier's eyes, then he reaches up with his free hand and drags the bandana down, revealing the harsh lines of his handsome face. A few days growth of blond whiskers covers the chin I once considered beloved.
"I don't want to kill you, Taran, but I don't have time to fight with you. This city needs the Desert Wren." He's trying to moderate his voice, but I can hear the frustration. "The Warlord will be hot on our heels as soon as he realizes that explosion was a distraction. We need to leave the city now."
"Go to hell!" I shout at him, jumping back. "You don't know what the fuck you're doing."
He stalks toward me and grips the front of my dress, lifting me up onto my toes. "And you don't have the balls to follow through on our mandate; equality at all costs. Or have you forgotten, everyone has an equal right to survival? Your words, not mine."
"Don't you dare," I hiss angrily, shoving at his chest, breaking his hold on my dress. I straighten and rub my chest where his knuckles dug in. "Yes, my words, twisted by a man bloodthirsty for vengeance on the elites. You spout equal survival at me while you kill my friend in cold blood."
"Your friend," he spits venomously. "What did he do for you, Taran? Did he give you a home, give you clothes and food? Teach you how to survive in a toxic world? Did he give you Sanctuary?"
I brush impatiently at the tears that begin to flow once more. Xavier is describing everything he did for me when I was brought into Sanctuary and given to him as a child bride.
"No," I say to him, lifting my chin. "He gave me the things you never could, friendship and protection."
Xavier takes a threatening step toward me. "Will you leave the city with me, or will you stay with your friend back there?"
"Are you going to kill me if I don't?" I demand.
"No, I never intended to kill you, Taran. But you have to see how important this is. The rebellion needs its Desert Wren. It needs its leaders, intact and united." Though his words are cajoling, the manic heat in his gaze is unsettling. He wants to use me to his advantage.
I stand silently for a moment, torn, knowing that my heart lies with the man commanding his troops. A man, that while cold and often cruel, would never compromise an entire city to achieve his own ends.
"Don't forget about the settlement, Taran," Xavier says, softening his voice. "There are people in those mountains, and we might be their only chance at survival."
Fuck. In the wake of the explosion I'd forgotten about the settlement. The possibility that my grandparents might be among them. Though my heart lies with Diogo, my loyalty, my life, lies with the desperate and destitute that fight for their basic human right to live.
"I'll go with you," I tell him. Then give him a grim look. "I'm going for the refugees though, Xavier." I step toward him, pointing at his chest. "But what you've done today is utterly unforgivable. You and I are finished."