Chapter 134: Taran

I'm slow to wake from a desperately needed nap. As awareness comes to me I realize that I don't know what woke me up. These days it would be the cries of my son that would wake me from such a deep sleep. He'd been up and fussy last night, so I put him down for a nap and then laid down myself on the bed in the corner. But he's not crying now.
I sit upright, shoving hair out of my face. I push myself out of the bed and stumble toward the cradle, reaching for it. Blaze is gone, just his crumpled blanket shoved to the bottom of the bed. As my brain absorbs the reality of my missing son, I'm on the verge of panic when Diogo speaks.
"He's with Emery."
I look up. Diogo is standing in the doorway, his arms crossed over his broad chest, his military uniform in perfect condition on his tall frame. I blink several times and try to shake the sleep fog from my brain. "Why is he with Emery?" I've been talking to Diogo for a few weeks now, since he agreed to discuss the wall extension to encompass Old Tucson. There was no point after that in keeping my silence, though the chill between us remains.
The hard look in his dark piercing eyes should be my first clue that he's up to something, but I'm slow to understand. In this first six weeks of Blaze's life no one has stepped in to undermine me or dared to take my child without my permission. In fact, in the past six weeks Blaze hasn't once been out of my sight. Panic begins to well up again as I imagine he must need me, must need to eat, or just be reassured by the presence of his mother. Diogo watches as these thoughts and emotions no doubt flit across my face.
I stand up straighter and glare at him. "I want my son."
"No." The way he says it, so easy, so autocratic, it infuriates me.
"Why?" I demand.
He waits a few seconds before speaking, as though searching for the words. Finally, he says, "You need to stop hiding behind our son and face the fact of our marriage. Or lack of one at the moment."
I gasp. "How dare you! I'm not hiding behind our son, I'm nurturing him, as I should be doing. As any good parent would. Are you suggesting I'm doing something wrong?"
He holds a hand up and takes a step into the baby room. "You've been an exemplary mother to our infant child. I'm not arguing with your dedication to parenthood."
"What then?" I ask angrily. "Why have you taken him without my permission?"
Diogo reacts with explosive anger, thundering, "I don't need permission to make decisions regarding our son. I had him removed so you can't use him as a barrier to our marriage anymore!"
I gasp and take a step back. Diogo has given me space these past weeks, allowed me to make all the decisions surrounding Blaze's care. That Diogo is reduced to yelling at me shows how serious he is. I try to remain calm, though my instincts are clambering at me to shove past Diogo and go find Emery and Blaze. I won't make it far though, and that alone keeps me rooted to the spot. Diogo won't hesitate in physically stopping me from leaving.
I clench my hands into fists and force myself to take several deep calming breaths. If there's anything I've learned from my husband over our time together it's that my anger won't sway his decision. If I want my son back in my arms I'll have to play along. "What are you proposing?" I ask as calmly as possible.
He shoves a hand through his hair and rolls his shoulders, cracking them and releasing some tension. His dark eyes search mine for a moment. "We're going for a drive."
I frown. A drive? Fuel is a premium in our society, difficult to come by, even harder to hang on to. What he wants to show me must be important for Diogo to decide we'll drive there. "Where are we going?" I ask, curiosity peeking through my annoyance.
"You'll see," he says shortly and turns, leaving me to follow him. I debate crawling into bed and going back to sleep. Not that I would actually sleep until Blaze is safe and sound in his cradle, but Diogo might get the point that I don't want to be in his company right now. If I resist, he'll probably drag me out of the apartment, forcibly carry me down the stairs and shove me in the jeep.
I sigh and stomp after him. "Fine," I tell him disagreeably. "The only reason I'm going with you is because I trust Emery to take care of Blaze. But once I've seen whatever it is that you seem to want to show me, I'm coming back here and you're bringing my son back to me."
Diogo takes hold of my arm as I pass him and gives me a little shake. "Enough," he says in a hard voice, bending close to my face for emphasis. "You will stop acting like a petulant child who's had her feelings hurt. I've given you six weeks to get this out of your system, now you'll give me a few hours."
When he puts it like that I do feel somewhat like a pouty child. Perhaps I could've given him an opportunity to explain his side more fully before now. Perhaps I could've softened enough to have an adult discussion. But I've been swamped with hormones, overwhelmed by new parenthood and confused by the emotions surrounding Diogo and Xavier. Unable to cope, maybe I did take the easy way out by burying my head in the sand and ignoring the difficult things I didn't want to deal with.
Still, Diogo murdered Xavier in cold-blood without a trial then lied about it. There is simply no excuse and there won't be an explanation good enough to satisfy the deep anger I feel whenever I think of my powerful husband taking vengeance on an unbalanced and weakened Xavier.
I pull my arm from Diogo's hold, painfully aware that he wouldn't release his grip if he wasn't ready. "Let's get this over with," I mutter, grabbing my jacket and heading out the front door.
Diogo's grim silence follows me down the 18 flights of stairs to the main floor where his jeep waits for us. Diogo's patience has definitely reached an end. He's no longer contrite or apologetic. He's pissed off. Part of me wonders if I was waiting for this, subconsciously pushing my husband toward this. Diogo can be a strong-willed beast. He's forced his will on mine over and over. I'm not surprised Diogo the Warlord is back and fed up with the icy silence that has become our marriage. I just wish I was better prepared for whatever he has coming my way.
He strides around me and opens the passenger door to the jeep. I slide in and hold my jacket tight around me as he slams the door shut and climbs into the driver's seat. I glance up at our home as he drives away, hoping it'll be there when we get back. Even though the unrest in the city has mostly died down, I still get jolts of discomfort when I think about our lost home and how close we came to losing each other.
"Where are you taking me?" I ask as Diogo is waved through the checkpoint and into Sector Two.
He ignores my question and continues driving. As we reach the massive gates guarding our city, I realize he intends to leave Sanctuary. My heart jolts in fear and I have to swallow the denial that leaps to my lips. Diogo is an accomplished warrior, he won't let anything happen to me. Still, it's difficult to forget that every single time I've stepped foot outside of this city in the past year, terrible things have happened.
As we drive through the gates, Diogo reaches over his shoulder into the back seat and grabs a rifle. He silently passes it to me. I take it hesitantly and look it over, running my fingers over the smooth steel.
"Just point and pull the trigger," he says gruffly.