Chapter 41: Taran

I sit up with a gasp, covering my mouth and staring in shock. I reach out for the blanket to make sure it's covering my bare chest.
"How did you get in here?" I'm appalled. If Diogo finds him here, he's as good as dead.
"Told you, I have a man on the inside." His words come out laboured and he reaches for the edge of the cot, pulling himself down, his face twisting in a grimace. I pull my feet back to give him room.
"Did Garrett let you in?" I ask softly.
He looks confused for a moment and then nods his head vaguely, wrapping an arm around his middle.
I put a tentative hand on his shoulder. "What happened to you? Are you hurt?"
"Your husband attacked me," he growls. "Tried to kill me, but I got away with the help of some of my people."
"Oh no! He didn't tell me he saw you," I gasp, and run my hands over his chest. "Where are you hurt?"
"My ribs, in the back," he snaps. I tug his shirt up and my mouth drops open at the damage. Big purple and blue splotches cover the skin of his back over his ribs. I gently run my fingers over the area, probing. He shifts sharply in the seat.
"They're definitely cracked. The muscle between the ribs is swollen," I say and smooth his shirt back down. "Why did he do this?"
"Wanted to look me in the eye, see who your first husband was, I guess. The guy isn't exactly stable when it comes to you, Taran."
That sounds like Diogo. I suppose I should be grateful he didn't outright kill Xavier as he'd threatened to do. I clutch the blanket against my throat as anxiety presses in on me. I expect Diogo to walk in and find us here together. I've done nothing wrong, I wasn't expecting Xavier and I certainly didn't invite him, but I can't help feeling like that wouldn't stop Diogo's anger. Or the retribution that would follow.
"Why are you here, Xavier? This isn't smart. Diogo will definitely kill you on the spot if he finds you. Probably throw you off the roof. You won't get away with a few busted ribs."
"I'm not afraid of your husband," he sneers, but his eyes dart quickly to the door before settling back on me. "I need to talk to you, let you know what's happening in the rebellion."
"What is it?" I ask, worry for my friends overriding my need to rush him out of the apartment.
He shifts painfully in the chair. "We've lost some people. Fuentes," he spits the name out like it's poison, "and his men are tearing through the slums, arresting illegals and anyone suspected of being a rebel."
"But why would he do that?" I ask, frowning. "He hasn't seriously moved on the rebels since I've been in Sanctuary, and the rebellion has existed for a long time. And from what I've seen he has the intelligence and the firepower to take out our entire rebellion with ease."
"Sounds like you've switched sides," Xavier says accusingly.
I cross my arms and stare at him. "What it sounds like is I'm getting to know the other side and negotiating with him. It's much smarter to climb the mountain than to throw a rock at it and try to topple it. Now you tell me, what are these rumours I'm hearing about some kind of sabotage plot. Is that you?"
A flash of something suspiciously close to guilt crosses his features before he smothers it. His gaze is cool and detached when it finds mine. "We're always working on different plans, trying to gain power for the rebellion, bring in more supplies and refugees. The cause is all that matters. You need to remember that, remember who your friends are."
"I'm doing some good here," I defend myself. "I got Diogo to raise the age of marriage consent to 17."
Xavier waves his hand dismissively. I'm not surprised. He's never been one to concern himself overly much with women's issues. That was always my thing. It was one of the reasons I elevated to a leadership role, besides my ability to climb and hide from the authority. I've always been an outspoken advocate for women's rights, especially the women without a voice. Refugees, illegals, young women forced into marriage.
"There's something else you need to know."
His statement draws my attention back. "What?"
"There've been reports from our hunters of a small settlement of people in the mountains. Apparently, they've been around for a while refugees that didn't make it into the city."
It takes a moment for the implication to hit but once it does my body is flooded with endorphins. The need to leave immediately is strong. I shake my head, reminding myself of the near impossibility that my grandparents could be alive after all these years of fending for themselves outside of a sanctuary. But if there's even a chance.
"I have to go," I murmur.
Xavier knows all of my history, he knows what this information means to me. He places a hand at my back. He isn't an emotive man but he has his moments. I lean into him a bit and take in the comfort he's offering. There can never be more than friendship between us, but that friendship is strong. Even when we don't agree.
"Your husband won't let you leave," he says seriously. "He's possessive and suspicious. I'm guessing you're the catalyst he needed to finally take control of the rebellion. He's been allowing us to rise to a certain level, have our little riots and rallies. But now that he has you, he can turn the tide of the people."
I tug on the end of my hair. This isn't good. This confirms what I've come to suspect. Diogo always had the ability to access the rebellion, to bring it down if he really wanted to. But something held him back. Now it would seem he's making advances to weaken the movement. "But why?" I ask out loud. "Why would he do this now if he always could? It doesn't make sense."
"It does." Xavier stands, pulling himself up with the edge of the cot. He turns so that he's hovering over me, though hunched in pain. "He has what he wants now. He has a major player in the rebellion, the Desert Wren, and having her here with him, capitulating to him, standing at his side willingly, will sway her loyal followers. All he needs is to get rid of the few that care most, the ones that'll try to bring her back into the fold."
"You and Emery," I murmur, a sick feeling rising up inside me. I continue to pace and think, his pitying gaze following me. "No, you can't be right. He can't have planned this entire thing."
"You don't want to believe it, Taran," he says softly, stepping in front of me and taking my shoulders in his hands. "But it makes sense. And I think you'll see that when you've had time to think about it."
Tears prick my eyes and I nod, not saying anything. My throat aches with the need to cry. I swipe a finger under my eye stopping the first tear from falling.
"Taran, you can't stay with him. The longer you stay, the more danger you're in." He brushes the hair off my face. It's a strangely intimate gesture considering we haven't been together as man and wife in more than five years.
I nod and say with a sigh, "I need to go to the mountains anyway, find out if the rumours of a settlement are real." Then reality kicks in. "Diogo won't let me leave though. Even if I do manage to escape my guard or scale down the side of this building, he'll have the city on lockdown faster than I can move sectors. He knows I climb the wall so he'll double-down on his people at the wall."
"Don't worry about that, Taran. We'll get you out when you're ready."
"What are you planning?" I ask, feeling numb. The thought of leaving Diogo makes me feel awful, dizzy and sick. Yet the thought of staying with the man who has planned every detail of my downfall from before we even met is worse.
"We'll cause a distraction, get you out of the city. I'll go with you, help you find what you're looking for."
I frown and shake my head. "The rebellion needs you here, Xavier, they can't lose both of us. Besides, if Diogo knows you've left with me, he'll tear this city apart and then come after us with everything he has."
"Don't worry about Fuentes, we'll keep him distracted." He squeezes my shoulders, a bit harder than I think is necessary, as though he's frustrated with my reticence. "No sweetheart, what we need to do is lay low for a while. We are the rebellion, you and me. If we're both caught, then the rebellion will collapse completely. But if we leave the city and hide out in the mountains, we'll be able to re-enter Sanctuary stronger and more equipped than ever."
I glance at him sharply. "What do you mean, more equipped?"
He gives me a shake before wincing in pain and letting me go. "We don't have time for that right now, Taran. Just be ready to go when I come for you."
"Why aren't you asking me to come with you now?" I ask suspiciously. "This seems like the perfect time for me to disappear. Diogo is out and busy with whatever rumour you've started." I hold my hand up when it looks like he's about to protest. "Don't bother to deny it, I'm not stupid, Xavier. You may believe in the cause, but you'll do what it takes to achieve your own ends."
"You aren't ready to leave that bastard yet," he snaps, backing away from me. "I wish you would come now, but we both know you're not ready. Not until you've talked to him, discovered the truth. But once you do, I'll be waiting."
I want to argue with him, tell him he's wrong. That he's wrong about Diogo and wrong about my reason for being here. My husband loves me, he wouldn't betray that love.
"Besides, as you pointed out, the Commander will tear this city apart looking for you. We need a clean break, get you out of the city and into the mountains where we can lose ourselves."
This whole thing feels wrong, like I'm betraying Diogo for even entertaining this idea. I'm about to tell Xavier that I won't go with him when he comes for me, but before I can say anything else, he turns and leaves the roof without another word. I run to the door, flinging it open. I run down the stairs and into the apartment. When I peek out the front door I'm surprised to find that no one is guarding the other side. I take two steps out into the hallway and look around.
No one. I could leave if I wanted.
But Xavier is right. If I'm going to leave Sanctuary to search for my grandparents, I need to have one last conversation with my husband. I need to know the truth about his intentions for capturing me.