Chapter 33: Taran

A sob catches in my throat and I'm blinded by tears as I toss the names of my loved ones into the fire. For the first time since arriving in Sanctuary I've released my grandparents. It was too hard to admit that they'd died out there in the desert or in the mountains so I'd hung on to them, even as hope dwindled. I'd climbed the wall and snuck refugees in, searching each face for the dear ones that haunted my dreams. But now, on this Day of the Dead, I'm ready to let them go.
I sniff and swipe at the tears gathering on my lower lids before they can fall down my cheeks and ruin my makeup. I glance over my shoulder, searching for Diogo's towering form, but the crowd has swallowed me up and pushed me along, making space for the others that still need to burn their dead.
I open my mouth to call out for him, knowing that he'll be freaking out when he realizes he can't see me. But before I can shout I'm grabbed by the arm and pulled through the crowd. I yelp as my foot tangles in some debris, but before I can go down, strong arms clasp me under my armpits and I'm dragged back up.
"Be careful!" A voice snaps before the hand yanks me into the alleyway of a nearby building.
"Xavier!" I gasp.
He doesn't say anything, just continues to pull me through the dark alleyway before stopping. I open my mouth to speak, to ask him how he's doing and what he's doing, when he slams me against a wall. I hit so hard that the breath is knocked out of me and I collapse forward. He catches me and pins me against the wall making a sound of annoyance.
"What?" I gasp, trying to catch my breath.
"You married the fucking enemy, Taran!" he snarls in my face, shaking me hard. "What the fuck are you thinking? He's going to kill you, kill us all, and you marry him? You were supposed to be our spy."
I gape at him, unable to form a coherent response. I've seen him giving passionate speeches, seen him mildly annoyed when a follower doesn't follow his command to the letter, but I've never seen him this wildly angry. I'm saved the need to say anything though, when a woman's voice reaches us through the darkness.
"Xavier! You put that girl down right this instant."
Xavier lets go of me and I sink to the ground as Emery rushes over and wraps an arm around me. I stare at her shadowy face for a moment, taking in the delicate skull she's painted on. Then I throw my arms around her and hug her tight. "Emery!"
"Now you remember us," Xavier growls bitterly from beside us.
"Oh, hush," Emery snaps, cradling me against her. "You know as well as I do that Taran had no choice in her marriage to Commander Fuentes. Women are property in this godforsaken Sanctuary."
"She doesn't have to enjoy it."
"Stop it!" I hiss up at him. "And keep your voice down. If Diogo finds you here with me he'll kill both of you without even pausing for an arrest."
"A bit possessive, is he?" Xavier mocks. He's not even bothering to disguise the bitterness in his voice. Is he jealous? That would be ridiculous though, he never bothered with me before. He barely stopped long enough to pay attention when I was his wife, standing next to him, and that was only when I was doing something pertaining to the rebellion.
"Yes, he is," I say hotly. "And protective. He'd be furious if he knew someone grabbed me and dragged me into a dirty, dark alley and then slammed me against a wall."
Xavier takes a step toward us and then lowers himself into a crouch. His eyes are glittering like hard jewels as he says, "You're fucking the enemy while your people are dying. You were sent in with a mission and you're failing. Our new people smuggler damn near got caught. Alonso failed in his attempt to take your place and bring refugees through. He barely got away with his skin and the refugees were turned away at the gates."
I gasp in denial as his harsh words batter me. But he's right. I've been enjoying my time with Diogo while my friends have been suffering at the very hands that caress my skin and bring me alive. Still, I'm a single person, not a saint or a martyr.
"I'm sorry, Xavier, I never intended any of this."
Before he can respond, Emery interrupts, taking my face in her hands and turning it toward hers. "Of course you didn't, love. None of this is your fault. And despite what Xavier says, you aren't responsible for every living person begging for a place Sanctuary."
I smile and say, "Thank you, Emery." I take one of her hands from my face and squeeze it. "I want you to know that I haven't forgotten. I'm still just as much a rebel as ever. But I'm working on the inside now."
"Good," Xaxier snaps. "We finally get something that makes sense. What do you have? Military movements, police reports? What does Fuentes have planned for the city?"
"I'm sorry, Xaiver. I have no intention of spying on him. Besides, he won't give me any of that information. He's not an idiot."
"Then what fucking use are you?" Xavier snaps. He stands and paces away from me.
I stand with him, Emery's arms falling away from me. I follow him as he walks deeper into the alley. "I can work on him, Xavier. I can change his mind about the refugees. I can convince him to open checkpoints and relax his guard when it comes to the citizens. He's not a bad person. He'll come around."
Xavier whips around and grabs me by the shoulders. "You think so?" He lowers his face to mine, his breath punching my lips with each word. "He killed one of us. Walked bold as day into the slums and stabbed her through the heart, then cut her head off."
I flinch in his hold as I hear the brutal truth but I lift my head and stare back at him, holding my ground. "I already know. He told me. She'd been bitten."
That shuts Xavier up. His hands dig into me until finally he thrusts me away. "She could've been saved."
"You know better than that."
"Fuck!" he shouts.
Then an answering voice shouts from close by, "Taran!"
I whirl on the spot and squint toward the head of the alley. Just as a large silhouette appears at the mouth, Emery hurtles toward us, grabbing hold of Xavier and dragging him away from me. Xavier follows her, saying to me in a low voice, "I'll be back for you, Taran. The Wren needs to rejoin her people. It's your duty, not your choice."
If there's one thing a rebel is good at, it's disappearing. They melt into the shadows well before Diogo reaches me. I stare after them, torn. Xavier is right, my duty lies with the rebellion. I was an important part and no one can do my job quite as well as I can. But I also believe I can do more at Diogo's side than standing with the opposing force and shouting at a concrete wall.
"Taran." Diogo reaches me, gripping my arm, worry saturating his voice.
"I'm alright," I say, looking up at him.
"They didn't hurt you?" he demands.
"No," I whisper. He doesn't need to know about all the grabbing Xavier did.
Diogo's voice loses the concern and ice invades his tones as he says, "Who were they?"
I think about answering, about telling him I don't know them, but Diogo is smarter than that. He's figuring out that I was brought into this alley for a reason. Diogo is persistent when he wants something, he won't give up until I tell him. So I stare silently up at him.
He doesn't say anything else, doesn't demand I talk. Instead he silently marches me through the streets. As we approach the first checkpoint he hands his papers over and snarls at the guard, "Shut them down, check all paperwork, detain anyone suspicious."
"Diogo!" I gasp as he drags me through the closing gates. "You'll trap the refugees." The men, women and children living illegally in Sanctuary will be caught up in a net. One that I caused. "Please don't do this!"
He whirls on me, taking my arms in a tight grip and dragging me up onto my toes, his skeleton face gazing furiously down at me. "Then tell me who they were, Taran. Tell me how to find them."
I gape at him. I can't do that. He'll execute Xavier if he gets his hands on him. But he'll expel any illegals that he catches tonight, ultimately sentencing them to death by turning them out of the city. He's given me an impossible choice.
When I don't give him an answer, he drops his hands from my arms, takes my hand in a tight hold and drags me the rest of the way home. He walks so fast that I have a stitch in my side by the time we reach his building. He seems to sense me slowing down and, just as we reach the first flight of stairs, swings me up into his arms. I don't really want to touch him right now, the combination of the mask and his anger searing through me. Still, I wrap my arms around his neck not wanting to fall. He climbs up all 20 floors with me held tight against his chest.
He nods at Garrett and then wordlessly enters the suite, kicking the door shut behind him. Instead of putting me down and demanding answers, like I thought he would, he carries me through to the bedroom and throws me on the bed.
I squeak as I land in a heap. He starts removing his clothes as I get warily to my knees. "What are you doing?" I ask, crawling back until I hit the headboard. I have nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. With each piece of clothing that hits the floor I feel the seething aggression pouring from him.
He doesn't answer my question. Instead he finishes disrobing, everything except the terrifying mask, and then reaches for me. I flinch away, but since I'm cornered, he easily takes hold of me and drags me to the edge of the bed. He starts removing my clothes with the same quick, easy precision he'd applied to his own.
"Diogo, no!" I slap at his hands, but he pushes them aside and continues divesting me of my clothes as easily as if I were a child.
When I'm naked and quivering on the bed, trying to cover myself, he finally pauses and looks at me. His voice is deep and cold, almost the voice of a stranger. "You are my wife, you don't say no to me."
"Diogo, please slow down," I beg, backing away from him, from the fierce monster that has possessed my husband.
He grabs hold of my ankle and flips me over onto my stomach. I'm so surprised I barely manage to catch myself, my hands underneath my shoulders, when he opens my legs wide. I try to glance over my shoulder, but before I can see what he's doing, he's on top of me. Oh god, he's going to fuck me.
I open my mouth to beg him once more to stop or at least slow down, but he enters me roughly, forcing a strangled scream from my throat. I wasn't ready for him so it hurts, but he stops when he reaches resistance. I don't know how much of him is inside me, but I'm forced to lay unmoving beneath the heavy bulk of his body as he pulls partway out and then thrusts back in.
I cry out again. My body is starting to respond, expecting joy at his hands, and easing the entry a little. It doesn't know what my brain knows. Diogo isn't trying to give me pleasure. He's fucking me because he doesn't know what else to do with me. He's furious but he can't do to me what he'd do to anyone else that denies him.
Tears gather in my eyes. "Diogo," I moan.
He keeps thrusting, forcing the entire length of his cock into me. Then he pauses, leans across my back, gathers my hair in his fist and drags my head up. "Was he your ex-husband?"
"Who?" I ask, all coherent thought out the window.
He wenches my head to the side and bites down into the back of my neck. I yell in shock as pain shoots through me. The pain recedes though and is replaced by an unexpected shot of desire. I lay unmoving, gasping, as the amazing sensations flood down from my neck, settling in my pussy. Finally, he lets go, pulling his teeth from my flesh and says in my ear, "The man you met tonight, was he your ex-husband."
"Yes!" I gasp. How did he know?
"Xavier Gunther," he snarls and thrusts hard into me, fucking me with strong, fierce strokes. I dig my fingers into the blankets underneath me and take each thrust as he forces himself into me, hitting my cervix and sending waves of pain and pleasure through me.
He slams himself home one last time, this thrust harder than any of the others, his hips slapping against my ass. I can feel the warm wetness of his seed bathing my passage. Tears leak from my eyes and drop down onto the bed as he pulls out from me. I feel bereft at the loss.
"Consider him dead."
As leader of the rebellion, Xavier was always a dead man. But now that Diogo has focused on my ex-husband, he'll hunt him until he has nowhere to hide and he'll use the most brutal methods possible to make his vow happen. People will die. I've seen it before. This is the Diogo Fuentes everyone fears. This is the man I was too stupid to fear until now.